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Staff, Contributing Editors:

Tim Case, Goddess, Steve Lick, Gonzo,

Brian In Powder Springs, Ohio Flyboy, Kayden Kross

May 16th, 2008

Stripper Quotes

It’s been a while but yesterday I heard a couple worth mentioning.

Kelly is spending a couple of weeks with me, lets just say Kelly has recently found freedom, as she drank her cospmopolitans she was telling me that it was a lot like Russia.  They were oppressed for so long and now they have a lot more freedom.  Then she says thats what I’m like, I’m like a Russian….Full of Vodka and ready to party!

That struck me as funny….very funny.

quote number two needs no set up

“I’m attracted to shiny things.”

May 16th, 2008
May 15th, 2008

Why oh why must we struggle for intimacy?

Why must we struggle so with it? Why, Damn It, is something so God given so HARD? But it is within our grasp, isn’t it? Painfully so. 

It must have been the excess under the cloud, the cloud and doubt of future. The wonderful lovers, providers, before us earned life. They earned His attention, we were too busy getting high, having fun. And we have to take so much time dealing with the providers, our parents, those of us who knew them.

Can we get paid for this? They sure knew their reward, had confidence. They were paid, reward.Will we be redeemed? Forgiven? Will our knees stop aching? Have we done enough? Have I? 

Yeah, I know…

Some of us didn’t and don’t know them at all, our parents, even if we are with them daily. They can be strangers can’t they?I believe in very few THINGS, fewer people. None of them in positions, control, or influence. They are after all, people.

 So here we are. It ain’t so bad. Love one and the other. Love them fully, with at least a little bit of your heart, and put on some jazz, lite up. IT’S OKAY, you’ve been through a bunch, exhale. I miss ya’ and know you miss us too. You written lately and it’s good, but you’re stressed. It’s okay, you’re gonna be all right… Really, you are going to be okay, you are loved, even if you don’t feel it.

I love you.

Take it Ella, swing it…

May 15th, 2008

I’m Eating Humble Hair Pie This Morning

I realized after reading my post about porn parodies that I came off sounding like “that guy who talks negatively about the porn industry”. I’m actually the complete opposite.

I will never regret my decision to walk away from the mainstream side of things after working in that industry for nearly 18 years (I’m 36 now). Life’s too short to feel burnt out every day of your life. No matter how much money they pay you. I can tell you unequivocally that I’ve had more fun in my brief porno career than with any of the big money gigs I had working for Disney, Viacom, or even the fucking Olsen Twins… When it comes down to it, there’s something to say about the power of happiness. For every cheesy porno flick released to market, there’s 100 awful movies on the mainstream side. For every porn company that cooks the books, Paramount and Warner Bros. are doing it 50 times over! If you don’t believe me, read this article about how Warner Bros. completely bullshitted there way into second place this past weekend with the “Speed Racer” box office numbers.

Bottom line: The adult industry is great, as long as you have enough common sense to know how to navigate your own career. There is no such thing as a “porn victim”. Unless you are being chained to a basement and forced to perform on film, every single adult in this industry is in control of their own personal destiny.

And last but not least… I have been involved in the casting of nearly 35 mainstream reality television shows in the U.S and Europe. I have never had a reality TV star thank me for casting them by blowing me in a Chatsworth IHOP while sitting in a booth at 3am eating a short stack. Thank you adult industry.

May 14th, 2008

Just When It Was Safe To Go Outside

We have bar here in REDNECKVILLE, hard by downtown.

Selling Barack Obama-Curious George t-shirts for a laugh. Thank you freedom of speech, it applies to all of us, even to our peril. I hate that degrading animalization shit.

I love my town and its Blackness, my favorite part, my town. 

I have Steve Prefontaine t-shirt, the shameless hucksters at NIKE patterned it after the Che photo so famous. It’s cool when a runner, usually a young skinny girl says ” HEY! Steve Prefontaine! “  not when a non runner say’s “ is that Che Guevara?”

All they know from him is a revolutionary. Not a Communist murderer, like he was, he and his pal Fidel.

Pre was a courageous gifted athlete, a wonderful forgotten seventies icon, a stud on the track, wonderful blessed youth tragically lost to a bad decision.

Che was a Marxist and looks good on a shirt, too. His iconic status brings scowls in communities that had to flee the wrath. They don’t welcome those memories.

Barack Obama is a Chicago politician, and perhaps our next President. And now the rednecks rear their disgusting head. They have a t-shirt and brave protesters outside the bar, good for them. I fear what’s next.

Che, Fidel and their boys didn’t cotton objecting political speech or dissent. Not one little bit.

The “ healing” that Barack’s candidacy brings is long salved in Atlanta, so I hoped. The Camelot comparisons are sweet, and deep. Michelle’s the hottest would be first lady since ever. If he’ll decriminalize he’s got my vote, he’s young, energetic and NOT experienced, that’s reason enough.

I might’ve dropped into this or the other wacky, vaguely racist bar or “heritage “ business and spent a buck on a buzz and chuckle at the local political bungholes. It used to be funny to buy and give a bumper sticker from Lester Mattox’ campaign to my politically active democrat friends, but not anymore.

No, they won’t get my buck. They can’t have it. Because now I have to wake and after confirming life, remember I live here where this worthless gesture has sucked that much more public consciousness in order to consider the plight of the public racist fool. You have screwed up a long fought civic identity and dropped your turd, in my home, right on the rug.

I will spit when I see you.

 

May 13th, 2008

Shelly Lubben is a bitchcuntwhore and Calderon is a Political Stereotype

Sacramento, CA- A tax levy on the adult industry to the tune of 25% of all gross receipts was brought in front of the fiscal committee by a turkey-jowled Charles Calderon yesterday. His concerns were that the adult industry, contributing 4 billion annually to the CA economy, was not pulling its weight. His real concerns were that the CA budget deficit is extraordinary, state employed union members might be laid off, and some vague floating morality that he has never quite been able to grasp with any conviction may or may not have been violated.

Here is why the adult industry is not pulling its weight:

“The in-state production of adult entertainment and adult entertainment merchandise has numerous negative secondary effects on the people of this state. Specifically, the production:

i) increases crime at or near production locations

ii) adversely impacts the mental health of, and leads to increased alcohol and substance abuse by, those involved in the production;

iii) increases the performers’ chance of contracting a sexually transmitted disease;

iv) encourages unsafe sex by consumers; and

v) often encourages sexually aggressive behavior towards women. ”

-from the summary of the bill AB2914 authored by Charles Calderon.

He goes on to claim that as performers, we leave the industry “uneducated, unskilled, unemployed, addicted to drugs and on welfare”.

The Rebuttal (this one should automatically get bonus points because its backed by empirical evidence):

i) No published or peer-reviewed studies have shown that adult entertainment venues have higher than average police calls or crime rates in surrounding vicinities. I don’t even know what else would need to be added to this argument. It’s just not true.

ii) No studies have even been done on the increased use of drugs and alcohol in the adult industry. Furthermore, having worked in both strip clubs and on adult video sets, I can tell you that drugs are not tolerated. No director is going to hand meth to a girl and expect a good scene, as Shelly Lubben claims (we’ll get to her). The adult industry is a business and drugs slow business production.

iii) Our rates of sexually transmitted disease are lower than the general population. We are tested every 30 days. AIM finds an infection rate of 1.8 percent every month for gonorrhea and chlamydia. There have been exactly 17 cases of HIV in over ten years (and Calderon, who did his research by watching HBO, says that 5,000 new girls enter the industry every year. Do the math). When we enter the industry we are also tested for syphilis and given paps. There are vaccines for HPV and certain types of hepatitis. I have been tested regularly for a year and a half now. I have never had a dirty test and I’ve had all of the vaccines. I would be more than willing to post my test history. As far as herpes go, our rate of infection is exactly equal to that of the general population. But really that is not the point. The cost of our STDS to the state is exactly zero. We pay AIM to take care of this. We don’t wait three weeks to be approved by the state for free STD treatment. That would be three weeks out of work when we could buy some chlamydia antibiotics for twenty dollars from AIM.

iii) No studies have been done concerning whether porn increases promiscuity or not, and even if it did, so what. It is not the state’s job to regulate our sex habits or tax us for not abstaining from the evil temptations of lust. And please Mr. Calderon, define “unsafe”. Do you mean out of wedlock?

iv) Porn does not cause rapists. Sex crimes have only been declining and porn has been going more mainstream. Half of all internet searches are sex-related. That would be an awful lot of violence against womenfolk don’tcha think? And again, there are no peer reviewed and published studies to support this notion. But for argument’s sake, let’s say there are people out there who only feel it is right to beat on women after they see a pretty girl screw on film. To be consistent, we should find a scapegoat to tax every time someone is shot. But are we taxing the company that made the gun or are we taxing Grand Theft Auto… I can’t make up my mind.

Porn addiction was also brought up as a ghastly secondary effect of this industry. Porn addiction does not exist. Sex addiction does exist and existed before the industry and will continue to exist even if the industry is run out of CA. But again, if we start taxing the objects of addiction then it needs to be consistent. I got up in the middle of this blog to go on a Starbucks run. Who is drafting legislation against that?

Onto education, skills, employment, welfare…. and the oft repeated drug addiction.

If we were to show the education trends of workers in this industry on a scatter plot, it would look like a polka dot dress. Yes, there are girls who did not graduate high school. There are girls with PHDs. There are girls who come in with degrees and girls who continue with school while they are in the industry and there are girls who make a lot of money now and then leave the industry for school. There are girls who will misspell their own names until the day they die and others who will become business tycoons and probably employ the very assholes who assigned them some kind of value judgment based on their line of work. Why does it seem like something is missing though…. oh yeah, because the girls in front of the camera are not the only people in this industry. Admittedly, I’m only making an assumption, but the directors and photographers and editors and writers and graphic artists and make up artists and boom guys and lighting guys and web designers and business owners and vague entrepreneurs all have either an education or skills. Anyone with a sustaining career in this industry by definition would have something worthwhile to contribute to it. Suitcase pimps don’t count though.

If we leave the industry unemployed that may be due to the fact that we are now, uh… retired? Brilliant! One builds an entire career in an industry, puts away money, gets old, and stops working. Novel. Once again, Calderon is focusing only on the 2 girls in front of the camera and ignoring the 25 people on set behind the camera. They do not stay in for five years and then become a burden to the state as Calderon so eloquently stated. But, since the focus is on those fuck up girls, i will turn back to them. Reasons some girls leave unemployed: They went back to school. They got married and are now housewives. They really did put away enough money that they won’t have to work again. Or, and this is entirely possible, they left unemployed and will remain unemployed during their job search. I personally have been unemployed before this industry. I’d had it with the job I was at and I quit. And I was unemployed for ten days while I interviewed for a new job. It was a huge burden on the state but I guess thats why I pay taxes.

On welfare. Please. What newly retired porn star with her brand new Mercedes, tax statements showing a six figure income, and still-perfect body due to the fact that she’s never had a kid is going to pull up to the local welfare office and qualify. Spare me.

Drug addiction. I’m getting back to it. More reasons why industry workers can’t be drug addicted:

i) Most industry workers are not actually performers and they have deadlines and obligations and probably families and normal lives. This is not conducive to drug addiction.

ii) Drug addicts are ugly. Porn favors pretty. If two girls fit the mold for a look you are trying to work into a scene will you go for the one with rotting teeth, scabs, and vacant eyes or will you go for the one who just looks like a normal girl? Or, lets say the drug addict looks normal. In that case will you go for the girl who is reliable and can remember her lines or the one who may or may not show up and can’t even read her lines because they are threatening to stab her and floating off the page whenever she looks at it? Drug addicts will be weeded out. There are too many girls willing to take their place.

iii) This industry already has so many people breathing down our necks. Are we really going to shoot a girl up with heroin on set or at a strip club (as Daphne Khoury claims- yes i’ll get to her as well) knowing that the religious right is looking for any reason to shut us down and also knowing how replaceable she is with someone who is absolutely fine with being naked and sober simultaneously?

iv) Porn does not cause drug addiction anyway. Correlation is not causation. Many girls who propel the myth are girls who were already addicted before the industry and then turned to it to try to make a quick buck to feed their addictions. They don’t last long. As I’m defending this industry please note that i’m defending the mainstream part of it. No one can control for the fringe dwellers and we don’t legitimize them.

iv) Let’s get to the real reason why this is such a bothersome statement though. The underlying assumption is that recreational sex and sex as a commodity is so evil and dirty and wrong that the psyche cannot handle it without resorting to substance abuse. This is coming from the very group of people who should be counseled on sex because they have managed to distort it into something larger than life. They see it everywhere and feel victimized by it. They worry so much about it that they have stripped their lives of it entirely, but that is not enough, because other people obviously don’t see the danger in sex and so they must strip other people’s lives of it as well. For their own good of course.

50 million Americans were patrons of the adult industry last year. People who like and enjoy sex and have positive views of it are not unhealthy or unstable. People who fear it and would take away your rights to it are. This bill is not about about making the adult industry “carry its own weight”. This bill is a poorly veiled attempt at censorship. If you don’t believe me, then lets go back ten years in time to another bill that had the exact same goal but failed. The first time this bill was introduced it was introduced for moral reasons rather than budgeting reasons. Calderon is relentless. If passed, the adult industry would effectively be forced out of CA. The 25 percent tax would be taxed at every level. This means it could be applied as many as 5 times to the same product. We cannot take 125% hit. When Calderon was asked about this, his response was, and I quote “The adult industry cannot leave California. This is the only state in the US where shooting porn is not called outright prostitution or pandering. They will be forced to pay it.” He’s wrong. The video industry can and will leave CA if this bill is passed. We already do shoot outside of CA but if we had to it’s not as if a scene has never been shot in Budapest if the remaining US is off limits. From what I hear the girls are damn hot over there. Not only would the adult industry being forced out be a grave moment in the history of a nation based on democracy and freedom, but it would be a huge economic hit to CA. 4 billion is made every year in CA from this industry and it provides 40,000 jobs. Calderon would be willing to take all of this from Californians if it meant he could get his agenda through. In a memorable quote that I’d like so sum up this paragraph with, Calderon said, when addressing his committee, “We are the California Government. We can pass whatever law we want.”

To really drive his point home about what fuck ups the girls are, Calderon brought in two extreme fuck ups to testify. Shelly Lubben and Daphne Khoury, ex-pornstar and ex-stripper, respectively, showed up in church-appropriate attire and fake eyelashes as shining examples. Shelly Lubben was in the adult industry for a total of 7 years, two of which she spent making adult films, most of which she hooked, and all of which she spent addicted to meth. While hooking and drugs are not prerequisites for this industry they obviously were in her case, as they came before the videos. Yet she claims she is/was screwed up because of the industry and didn’t know how to get out. Like any other job I can tell you that simply quitting should do the trick. But Shelly isn’t content with quitting. She won’t be happy until everyone does. She testified to Calderon’s committee that she was fucked with scissors on set, given drugs, caught genital herpes, and “couldn’t understand why it was legal for guys to get bodily fluids on her skin” (not kidding). She thinks that girls in this industry are lost and it is her job to find them. She claims that we have higher than normal suicide rates and that since she started her Pink Cross foundation (as I understand it there are only about 5 members) she has managed to “save” about ten girls a year and deal with one suicide attempt a year. These statistics of course should be applied to the 5,000 new girls entering every year that were previously mentioned.

Daphne Khoury, who appeared to be the more put together of the two, was quick to change my opinion of her once she opened up the water works in her testimony (Shelly did the quivering voice thing). Not that either of them would care to hold the development of law to reason rather than emotion though. Daphne claimed that she thought stripping was harmless at first, then she got addicted to heroin that was provided by the club owners. At the press conference earlier in the day I had wondered why she kept complaining about STDs as a stripper. Then i realized the problem. She should have been complaining about STDs as a hooker. You don’t catch herpes from lap dances. You catch herpes from riding a john’s dick. So as the story goes she was hooking and addicted to heroin and after numerous suicide attempts finally got help and quit the strip club. Arguably I think anyone with a herion habit and severe depression and a side job as a prostitute would probably quit their day job. I’ve known a lot of strippers in my lifetime. This is not a normal story. She ended her testimony with the admission that she is still getting help and battling depression and now she’s scared because her life was threatened if she spoke out and she supports AB 2914.

I know I brought this up earlier but correlation is not causation. I would suggest that Shelly and Daphne would have been fuck ups without the industry. Obviously there is no way to prove this. I don’t really care though whether Shelly and Daphne have problems because of the industry or independent of it though. It’s irrelevent because either way they represent an extreme minority. What is relevant is the underlying ideology behind these two “reformed women”.

Both Daphne and Shelly went into this industry on their own accord. No one held a gun to their heads. (But did i mention that Daphne claimed to have been forced into prostitution- was this by her drug habit?). While in the industry they had all the same options available that the rest of us industry workers/”victims” still have today. They had the option of not doing drugs. They had the option of not being prostitutes. They had the option of leaving at any time or making something of themselves in the industry. They could have gone to school or invested the money or developed a skill that would have been useful for their entire lives. They could have bought a house or somehow planned for their futures in some way. This industry can be the greatest springboard for our futures if we only take advantage of it. But they chose not to take those options. Instead they chose to be weak and follow the path of least resistance. Now, eight years later, rather than regrouping and coming to terms with their mistakes and moving on, they are attacking the industry. They are using extreme cases and making them appear to be the norm. They are citing opinion as fact, and in most cases I believe they are outright lying but how does one prove a negative? The ideological and moral flaw is even deeper than this though. They are actively trying to take away my right to succeed in this industry, and the rights of every other person involved in it, and the rights of every past, present and potential consumer. These girls, who couldn’t even manage a career in one of the easiest industries on the planet, think they are smarter than you or me and know better than us what is good for us and what legal rights we should have as a result. They are so steadfastly convinced of this that they will lie to a committee, take time out of their lives, support a bill that doesn’t even directly state what it is trying to accomplish (because if it were written honestly it would not have even been heard), and emotionally attempt to manipulate the legal system to get their way. That will always be more morally disgusting than a happy and willing pornstar spreading her legs for the camera or a self sufficient stripper transferring her tips from her g-string to her college fund.

Regardless of an extremely dishonest attempt at using government as a tool against the adult industry though, it looks as if Calderon might have failed. Among 150 people who showed to stop this bill in its tracks were Larry Kaplan from ACE of California, “Mr. Kinsey” as Calderon childishly called him, a group of over 100 dancers, club owners and managers, bouncers, porn stars and general supporters, myself, and my personal hero now, lobbyist Matt Gray. Mr. Gray’s closing argument was so cutting that Calderon could do nothing but stand by and huff and roll his eyes like a teenage girl being given a curfew on prom night. Calderon chose not to vote on the issue that day.

May 13th, 2008

Reality, Really Reality, Is It Erotic?

It’s 0140 AM here as I write this and I am waiting on something.

Somewhere in Cape Canaveral, Florida there is a young lady in her twenties, Eastern European and a former mainstream model who is taking pictures of herself in a mirror with her cell phone.

I just got off the phone with her and she didn’t have any pictures I could see right away so she is taking them of herself with her cell phone. Then she will send them for me to judge, to tell her if she is pretty enough to be sodomized on camera, pretty enough to have have men ejaculate onto her face so that other men might look at the photos and video and masturbate while imagining that they are doing that with her.

The thought of her, alone in a small home someplace performing this act of photography is insanely erotic to me. It would potentially be sad if I hadn’t previously talked to her and heard the enthusiasm in her voice about wanting to do it, for fun.

She told me she had been a “good girl” all her life and it was exciting to her to be bad this once. She said she hopes she is pretty enough.

What exactly is she thinking as she stands, completely naked, in front of a mirror, taking pictures of herself to send to a judge, one she has never met before, who is in a position to make a decision that will affect the rest of her life.

This is a moment of reality, It isn’t the first time I have felt this way and it likely won’t be the last.

I just got the photos and she is beautiful, stunning even, and now she awaits my call. Sitting there thinking on whether or not I am going to make this fantasy come true for her, as pretty as she is, she is wondering if she is pretty enough. And while I write this she is anxious, nervous even, waiting to find out if she is pretty enough.

Now THAT is reality.

May 12th, 2008

Honor Thy Mother

What is with this Long Donny character?

This video guy first infected all of the webmaster boards with his big ole nasty assed watermarked pictures as a lame assed marketing pitch - then wants t0 beat up Rubberless Joe over at Amacontent. [who runs promos for super bowl tickets that cant afford or produce].

Now his latest is a love letter to Mikes buddy Gene Ross about beating up on a tranny fucker.

Long Donny validats my statement that all industry people that live in LA or South Florida are fucking crazy. We had a similiar lovers quarrel on the webside with PhotoGregg [you’ll get paid when I get paid] and some folks for years.

Mothers day got me thinking that the people in this industry might do better in day to day affairs if they tried using a little Southern values and ethics.

Here’s the method that I use [and probably so does Mike]. When Im doing business, shooting video etc etc I try to behave and treat people in a way that I wouldnt be ashamed for my mother to hear about.  Dont get me wrong… my mother knows exactly what I do.

I think people like Long Donny deservingly create bad press but they forget and probably dont care that it reflects bad on the rest of us.

But hey call me crazy…Im a pornographer with a sense of honor and integrity.

“Every man has got to have a code.” - Omar Little from The Wire

May 12th, 2008

I’m Completely Over the Porn Parody Thing

I realize that porn parodies have been around since the beginning of time and that some of them end up making a lot of money. However, the hype from the current onslaught of television sitcom porn parodies is beyond fucking annoying.

Press release after press release of producers and directors congratulating themselves on how they did a great job in recreating the original sitcom. I don’t care if Steven fucking Spielberg himself was directing a porn parody. It would still end up looking like a cheesy porno production. They all do…

It makes perfect financial sense that someone finally came along and made a Brady Bunch porno. I’ll even give credit for developing a Beverly Hillbillies feature. But Bewitched??? I don’t see the obvious hard-on angle with Bewitched. I also don’t see a hard-on angle with the Munsters, which is coming soon from Hustler.

Because the world of porn never knows when to let up when milking an idea to its fullest extent possible, I expect to see a Maude parody at some point or even Eight is Enough come down the pike before this current awful sitcom parody craze eventually grinds to a hault. If this industry had any real balls, they would do a porn parody of the Roots miniseries or maybe even start doing porno parodies of real life events like R. Budd Dwyer or the L.A. Riots. I can just picture ol’ R. Budd eating his secretaries ass to bad MIDI file software music loops just minutes before he stands in front of a gallery of reporters and puts a hole in one.

I’m personally waiting for Jeff Mullen to unveil his latest porn sitcom parody sensation where the cast of The White Shadow gangbangs the Facts of Life girls in their dorm room while Mrs. Garrett gets fisted in the broom closet by Snyder the handyman from One Day at a Time. I can already feel my dick getting hard just typing this shit…

Facts of Life

May 9th, 2008

My Experience with the FSC

I did some production consulting a few years back for an adult company who donates the Canoga Park office space to the Free Speech Coalition. As a result, I got to experience first hand the inner workings of the FSC.

At the time I was there, the FSC flew in a bunch of 450 pound women from around the country to train as telemarketers to solicit new memberships. One of the women was so fat that she couldn’t even walk. They flew them into L.A. and put them up in a hotel all expenses paid for a week. Your membership dollars at work.

I remember meeting the executive director at the time. Let me put it this way… She didn’t look like the type of gal who enjoyed the conversation of a man. I normally wouldn’t have taken her rudeness, but she was bigger than me and had more facial hair. I wisely stepped out of her way to avoid getting throat fucked by her detachable cock.

I watched with my own eyes as the telemarketers phoned jack shacks around the country and promised them “lifetime immunity from 2257 prosecution” as long as they joined the FSC. I later learned that a majority of the telemarketers quit as soon as they arrived back home from their free week in L.A.