“The Ballad of Billy Jesus”
In one of the more memorable events of the 2002 Tampa Nightmoves Show (and one which involved absolutely no celebrity hair-pulling), all the adult stars onhand were privileged to witness the emergence of a new industry sensation, the one and only BILLY JESUS, Taylor Hill’s very own suitcase pimp.
Taylor Hill was appearing at her first major industry event, and the gorgeous, all-natural busty men’s magazine covergirl arrived in Tampa with a burning desire to establish herself as part of the Porn Community before returning to Dayton, Ohio. She shot one boy/girl scene for BigNaturals.com, and another boy/girl for Sean Michaels Productions, she took part in the Caravan of Stars, made appearances, signed autographs, and even presented an award at Monday night’s awards show.
Yet there was an emptiness there for Taylor, a feeling that something, somewhere, was missing amid all the hooplah.On Saturday night, she realized what it was. Taylor, with her self-assured, mature attitude toward sex, had always wanted to have an open relationship. Swinging, she had decided long ago, was where it was at, and Billy, her man, the love of her her life, had for too long resisted that impulse.
“But honey,” Billy protested. “I really don’t WANT to sleep with other women. I honestly don’t find anyone else but YOU attractive.” [Is there a man anywhere online reading this right now who would deny that Billy, hero to us all though he now is, was in reality lying through his teeth?]
“I don’t care, dammit,” said Taylor, exhibiting the Come Hell Or High Water attitude that will surely make her a XXX sensation. “You’re going to
get a blowjob right now, and by god you’re going to like it!”
With that, Taylor dragged Billy and his ever-present beer to Room 1401, the lair of the lovely Kiki Daire, where various debaucheries had been taking place on and off during the week. Taylor burst into the room, proudly dragging Billy behind, and then forcefully shoved him down onto his back on the bed, yanked down his pants, exposing his penis, and begged that any one of the naked female porn performers present — Tabitha Blue, Erika Kole, Felicia Fox, or mistress Kiki herself — might help her Get Her Man Off, Dammit!
Billy lay there, stunned into silence, clutching his Budweiser.
A hush fell over the room.
Before anyone could say “Watch the teeth!”, Kiki was down on her knees at the foot of the bed, sucking my man’s penis for all she was worth, with Taylor alternating between licking Little Billy Ballsack, biting his nipples, and kissing him.
Suddenly, as we all watched, Billy’s face began to glow. A beautific smile spread across his features, and he raised his arms above his head, two hot chicks orally working over his privates, and he exclaimed at the top of his lungs “I’M JESUS! I CAN WALK ON WATER!!!”
Thus Billy Jesus, Suitcase Pimp Messiah of Dayton, Ohio, was born.
The last time I saw Billy before I left Tampa he had on hat, was smoking a cigar and talking on a cell phone, making a deal for Taylor to shoot another porn scene, when I asked him how many chopsticks she could take up her ass (Billy had no clue what I was talking about) he looked at me and said “how much per chopstick?”
The only known photo of Billy Jesus
Interested Parties may contact Taylor and Billy at Taylorhill@hotmail.com
