Tom Zupko that’s who. Word is he will be Elegant Angels next in a long, long line of contract directors.

Gauge Update:

Mike… just to give you an update on Gauge.

Just wanted to let you know I updated Gauges journal for her… she’s gonna be fine. She’s sore as hell and has some bruising, but she’s gonna be fine.

That is something I am glad to hear Gauge is a little sweetheart!

Carly Really is Writing Lukeford.com

Not only do I recognize the writing….she cops to it. Damn I had it right all along…I apologize to my source who had it right, for allowing Carly to lead me astray….Guys just goes to show ya….women may not flat out lie….but they will obfuscate.

Best of Luck Carly

More Porno Poetry from Alexander The Poet

“Too Much Snatch…At The Bunny Ranch” by Alexander The Poet 02.28.03

Could it be that Dennis Hof,
Gets way too much snatch?
Is one pussy not enough?,
At, The Bunny Ranch?

Dennis Hof’s brain may be fried,
With so many clits
Not one single bitch could hide,
If you’re there, you’re his!

Dennis Hof’s a busy man,
Busy, fucking hoes
But he does it cause he can,
That, everyone knows!

Don’t get mad at Dennis Hof
He owns, Bunny Ranch!
Trying to reach him is tough,
When there’s too much snatch!

Gauge in an Accident:

Gauge was broadsided by another vehicle yesterday and according to her juornal at www.xxxgauge.com she is “in poor condition” I hope she is OK and nothing serious has befallen her. More info as it comes available.

Yep you read that right, free drug screens so that if your company doesn’t want to use drugged up actresses you can screen them out. No word on if the screens can test for prescrition drugs that are all the rage in Hollywood these days, stuff like Paxil, Xanax, and others. Personally I like this Idea I hope all porn companies in porn valley adopt this drug testing and refuse to hire performers who have drugs in their systems.

Cuz I will OWN the porn business in this country if they do.

My prediction….This will go over like a lead balloon…from what I hear the biggest drug users in porn work for a certain company known for its high end contract girls, and I don’t mean the contract girls are the only ones using either…I hear it they have a smorgasbord of various things on a lot of the sets, and I get this first hand….I hope AIM aint got too much money invested in these kits.

You should encourage whoever sent that e-mail about the DP Tonight show to write more often. It’s not everyday that you’re going to have a correspondent who can use words like “shrike.”

BTW, they finally read one of my e-mails on “the air.” I think it’s because I took a cue from you and started it with “Hey A-Dell:”

JMT

Because of the “Hey A-Dell” Adella accussed me of sending that under an alias…LOL

“Could it be more glaringly obvious that Tabitha Stephens, trying to make a comeback in XXX after a well-deserved retirement, has latched onto Devon like a cat clinging to a piece of plastic in the middle of a raging flood? It amazes me that Digital Playground, which has always seemed to conduct itself with a certain measure of class, has seen fit to hoist this crackhead shrike upon us every other Tuesday. She sits there on that couch, perched like a
hawk next to airhead Devon (whose uppity attitude and sheer rudeness to the public is fast earning her the nickname “Tera Jr.”) and the whole IQ of the
show just begins to plummet clean out of sight. It almost makes me wish we had Ms. Patrick back. ”

I was extremely disappointed in the show last night, though my criticism wouldn’t have been as harsh as yours. What bothers me most about this show, as I have stated before, is that it SHOULD have huge potential, instead it looks more like something Leisure Time would throw together, and I KNOW that DP can do better. Between the fart jokes and Tabitha’s hyped up stream of conciousness chittering and brutal slaps at Jilly Kelly Productions and Dayton Raines, (JKP deserved it BTW I dunno Dayton) JimmyD did manage a few funny comments. This should have been a good show….It wasn’t. I know the peeps at DP are gonna read this and I love em all but I don’t even blow smoke up my own ass and I aint gonna do it to them either, I owe them that. It sucked, period. Talking about Dayton having genital warts on the show was a bit much, as were personal attacks on Jonathon Morgan (Not my favorite person either but just damn)

Pepsi Makes the Fundamentalists Fizzing Mad:

The Bible beaters are pissed at Pespi, why? Because Pepsi has the audacity to print the Pledge of Allegiance on its new patriotic cans. Pepsi chose to go with the Original Pledge of Allegiance which did NOT include the words “Under God” Those words were added in In 1954, ( Can you say Segregationist?) when congress after a campaign by the Knights of Columbus, turned the pledge into both a patriotic oath and a public prayer, much to the irritation of Francis Bellamy’s family who claim that the author of the pledge, even though he was a Baptist Minister had INTENTIONALLY left out references to God.
Now this irritates me, I don’t need a reference to God on my junk food before I will consume it, honestly I don”t care. What does irritate me is that these cocksuckers are spamming the shit out of me trying to get me to join in a boycott against Pepsi….Please…..I bet God would tell em all to drink water and try putting their efforts into staying out of other peoples bidness!

Correction from Pepsi:

FALSE RUMOR ALERT: PATRIOTIC CANS
We wanted to clarify an erroneous report that has been circulating around cyberspace for the past several months. Pepsi has not created any packaging containing an edited version of America’s Pledge of Allegiance. A patriotic package used last year by Dr Pepper was inappropriately linked to this rumor.

It figures but it also doesn’t make my comments any less valid. I think If we start boycotting the companies that the right wing fundamentalist zealots approve of we might really get the product makers attention.

Leslie Strickland said she had nothing but good intentions when she loaded a badly hurt 6-foot alligator into the back seat of her Honda Accord and took it home last weekend in Port Charlotte, FL.
The 49-year-old woman had hit the animal with her car Friday night and went back hoping to rescue it. Instead, she crashed her car when the gator started to thrash in the back seat, got arrested and spent the night in jail.

I don’t know Leslie Strickland But I know one thing…She is one mean bitch. A six foot alligator is not like lifting a racoon up and putting it in your car, even if the gater wasn’t moving it’s HEAVY. Talk about alligator wrestling….

MIKESOUTH.COM EXCLUSIVE!

Dirty Bob Sends me a Picture of Tera’s new tits!

It appears her tattoo artist is a bit dyslexic though.

Speaking of (Tera, not dyslexia) the show formerly known as the Tera Show is hosting my best buddy in porn Fifi tonight, That’s Felicia Fox also on the ticket is JimmyD, should be entertaining. Watch it here by clicking the Live Feeds Link on the left.

Kernes Gets some responses:

From Wankus:

Attention Mark Kernes:

Please note that I didn’t address or direct anything to you specifically, nor do I wish to beyond this note. Mike South provided a link to a piece I wrote for Top Pro Talent, and HE included your name in the passage, probably because you two differ in opinion. Leave me out of your battles. I wrote an editorial piece that I felt was creative and showed another side to the conflict with Iraq. I honestly could give a rats ass what the fuck you think about the issues, since I’m sure my opinion is of a minority in the adult business anyway.

Rant and Rave about Mike, not me. I got no fight with you.

Wankus
KSEXradio.com

From Steve:

Yes 100 inspectors for a country the size of CA. Enjoy those crepes

Hitler
Milosevic
Nicolae Ceausescu

All were given time to be nice guys. Care to argue the outcome. By the way, we acted in Bosnia without UN permission.
The inspectors aren’t there to find stuff. They are supposed to look over material Iraq is suppose to hand over which they are not doing.

Mark Kernes has a lot to say!:

Wankus (to whom you directed me) writes:

<< Do you recall our earlier conversation about diseases and people who spread them? Why is important for America to handle this maniac? Because we can, and we should. A disease like this needs to be stopped before it does hit home.>>

Wankus (and you, Mike) are welcome to go play Captain America in your own fiefdoms, but when you decide to start wars in my name — that is to say, in the name of the citizens of the United States — when no good reason for doing so exists, then I’m gonna protest.

Your “buddy” Neal Boortz writes:

<< Or maybe Mark Kernes will offer him safe harbor. After all he is really just an innocent fellow targeted by the evil George Bush so that George and his Oil Croonies can get richer. Good God that pathetic rhetoric, even for a Democrat.>>

I have made no statement nor even implied that Saddam Hussein is “an innocent fellow.” I agree that Saddam Hussein is a Very Bad Man. He certainly doesn’t sound like someone I’d want to invite to dinner, though I suspect he’d be better behaved at the table than some I know in this industry. And I certainly wouldn’t want to live in Iraq… or, actually, anywhere within a thousand mile radius of it.

But there are A LOT of Very Bad Men in the world — yes, including George Bush — and if you see it as this country’s mission to go around and throw every one of them (except Bush) out of power, you can count me (and several million other people) out of it. Remember, we’re talking about people who have NOT attacked us, and to many of whom we’ve sold the weaponry they’re currently using to suppress their own subjects.

(One of the signs I saw at last week’s protest march was: “Q: How do we know Iraq has weapons of mass destruction? Answer by Colin Powell: We saved the receipts.”)

I’m no cop… and nothing in the U.S. Constitution or the U.N. Charter gives us the legal or moral right to attempt to be such with any other sovereign country in the world.

Dictatorship per se isn’t a disease; it’s a bad political system. I see no reason to turn the United States into another bad political system which ignores and subverts its own Constitution — as the Bush administration is currently doing — in order to try to guarantee cheap(er) oil for the next few years.

Considering how little Bush & Co. care about the lives and liberties of American citizens, how can you possibly buy the idea that the purpose of this war (which will begin within the next four weeks) is to free Iraqi citizens from this ruthless dictatorship, bla-bla-bla? Yeah, Bush cares what happens to a bunch of desert dwellers who haven’t accept Jesus Christ as their one true savior!

Steve writes:

<< Yes, the chemical fairies came and took all the VX, mustard etc gas. Those 50,000 Kurds must have all just had heart attacks at the same time. And those 2 buildings must have just had structural failure at the same time.>>

Well, Steve, if you know where all this stuff is, by all means, send a fax to the U.N. They’ve got over 100 inspectors who’ve spent more than a month in Iraq looking for just such weaponry… and not finding any of it. Colin Powell also claims to have similar information… but due to “national security,” he just can’t bring himself to supply it to the people who need it the most: The inspectors. And at least some of the stuff he flashed to the U.N. last week has already been discredited, which makes ALL of it suspect.

But guess what? Until the inspectors DO find some of the stuff our government claims they have (that’s “have”, not “had”), it’s not up to the United States to launch a unilateral attack on a foreign country, no matter how badly you or Mike or Neal or Wankus or Mike are chaffing at the bit to do so.

If you guys are in that big of a rush to show everybody how big your dicks are, why not just fight among yourselves? Less international repercussions that way…

Kernes

(P.S.: I’m seriously considering making this the LAST free fodder I supply for your website.)

Aw come on Mark the voice of dissent is welcome here and you get a widely read frorum to get your word out so don’t look at it as writing for me for free…look at it as me giving you free advertising space…Besides if all we had here was unilateral agreement it would get pretty boring.

And before y’all think I’m gonna beat up on old Kernes here, I am not. I actually have respect for the guy even though I disagree with him. Why? Simple. At least Kernesis out there doing something to put his money (and time) where is mouth is. He goes out and demonstarates and whether or not I agree with him that IS the American way!

Curious sends a few headstones from the Porn Career memorial Cemtery:

ChiliPimp is WRONG:

Dion does NOT own Platinum X Pictures, Wanker Wang is gone, at least for the time being so Chilipimp aka Anthony (Michael Keene) is back to writing that site, with a little help here and there from others. As you can see the site has taken a Nose Dive…Anthony sucks at that.

Tera Patrick, that’s who!

Evan’s Princess:

Tera now sports a tattoo on her ankle proclaiming her to be Evan’s Princess. I wounder if he has one on his ass that says Tera’s Bitch.

YOU NEED A TRANSPLANT? STAND OVER THERE PLEASE.

OK … it’s a real tear jerker. Jessica Santillan goes into a hospital for an organ transplant. Someone at the hospital screws up, and she almost dies. Then another transplant is done .. and now she’s clinging to life.

Did you know that Jessica is an illegal alien? Did you know that some hospitals are closing down because they can’t afford the cost of providing medical care to illegal aliens? But cost is only part of the picture. Jessica Santillan has now used two hearts and a couple of lungs. Since the date of her first operation about 100 U.S. citizens have died waiting for a life-saving transplant operation. How would you feel, for instance, if you were married to an honest-to-goodness tax-paying U.S. Citizen who has worked and paid taxes in this country since he graduated from high school … and now he needs a heart transplant. But the one that might have gone to him went, instead, to an illegal alien?

I have a problem with this. Do you?

The guitarist for Great White lives with Mark Zane and has dated porn chicks Chloe (VCA Contract irl) and Nina Whett. No word on his status but most agree that at this point it doesn’t look good.

Gram Ponante Out at AVN:

Word is he was fired on Thursday. Gram was responsible for the editorial content of the websites.

Carly writes:

No I am not writing lukeford.com I don’t write that boring!

Ya know she has a point….I shoulda caught that. Carly does Pornblography.com and she isn’t boring! My apologies to Ms Milne for that insinuation.

Wankus writes something you all should read….specially You Mark Kernes:

its here

Rumors of My Death Are Greatly Exaggerated

A certain porn producer-turned-musician left a message on his answering machine announcing his death. Then “news” of our inquiry into the message got leaked to gossip sites. The prank’s on them - it wasn’t news - it was a prank.

Ummmm got news for ya guys, I ran the story complete with the fact that he is indeed way more alive than his career, before you ever even put this story up. The porn producer-turned-musician they refer to is Matt Zane.

Some Mornings I wake and Feel as Though I “Took One for the Team.”

I just wish I knew what team I was playing for when I took it….and shit…I don’t even drink….

But it lacks its usual goofy humor, The reason? None other than owner Michael Keene aka Chili Pimp is back at the keyboard. Seems Wanker Wang is MIA. I haven’t spoken with WW, I could call him but its more fun to speculate. Anyhow I hear he is faring well in prison and that he is quite enamored with his new cell mate, the Rastafarian gay asianophile with the ear fetish.

There are some quiet rumors that Carly Milne is gonna be doing the writing for LukeFord.com in Wankers Wangs absense, she may even be doing it now. She is tight with owner Michael Keene.

These are from my buddy Neal Boortz

SADDAM LOOKING FOR THE BACK DOOR?

Some Arab news sources are saying that Saddam Hussein, the hero of this past week’s marches, is looking for a way out of Iraq, a way into Exile. Switzerland has said no. Egypt has said no.

In the meantime .. if it wasn’t for those leftist, anti-American “useful idiot” so-called “peace” marchers out there, and France, Saddam would probably already be long gone.

One story has Saddam asking Iran for a safe passage into exile. In 1988 the Butcher of Baghdad gassed tens of thousands of Iranians. I think they should lure him over the border with promises of safe passage, then cram a canister of VX gas and a Roman candle where the sun never shines and hang him by his scrotum in a public square so the locals can watch the fireworks. Or maybe Mark Kernes will offer him safe harbor. After all he is really just an innocent fellow targeted by the evil George Bush so that George and his Oil Croonies can get richer. Good God that pathetic rhetoric, even for a Democrat.

ECONOMIC IGNORANCE

Thanks to the pathetic job that our hideous government schools have done for us, most Americans know almost nothing of basic economics. For the most part they are blind to the fact that changes in taxes will prompt changes in the behavior of the people who pay those taxes.

Let’s turn, now, to an example. We’re going to use Craig who is 29 years old and who earns his living as a bartender. Craig is featured in an Atlanta Journal-Constitution article this morning about jobs. Craig says that when gas prices go up 10 cents it affects his customers. He then says that tax cuts wouldn’t help him in his particular tax bracket. Let’s summarize. Increase gas taxes and Craig might be affected because his customers might drive less and might not make as many trips to the restaurant where he works. Decrease income taxes and it “won’t do a thing for (him).”

Can someone please explain to me why this person acknowledges that people might change their behavior if their gas costs a dime a gallon more, but they aren’t necessarily going to change their behavior if they’re allowed to keep more of the money they earn? Doesn’t it occur to people like Craig that if people are allowed to keep more of their own money they will find ways to spend or invest it, and one of those ways might just be a trip to Craig’s restaurant?

Man … are we ever paying the price for our government schools right now.