Everyone is all gung ho about Rob and Lizards chances at the moment, but allow me to remind you that the jury and the American People have yet to see what it is that has brought forth the indictment. And as any good lawyer will tell you, you can have 100% of the facts 85% of the time and still lose 100% of your cases.

But let’s assume, for the sake of argument that Extreme walks on this. Would that really be a good thing? We have shown a remarkable lack of ability to regulate ourselves, what will Rob do next if he walks on this one? Where would we as an industry draw the line?

I suspect if Sirkin manages to walk Black on this then we are going to see congress pushed to pass a law DEFINING Obscenity. At that point we won’t have to worry anymore, The government will have done what we could not do, it will set the boundaries that we must either live within or get turned over by the Supreme Court. I don’t think we as an industry or we as fans would like what the government would mandate. But I have said it till I’m blue in the face, if we don’t control ourselves the government will do it for us.

This whole obscenity issue and community standards in particular are ripe to be revisited by the supremes, and I aint talkin Diana Ross. Right now we have it pretty good, but it ain’t gonna last. I wouldn’t look for Rob Black to be our saviour if I were the collective “you”.

Goddess Chimes In From Her Site:

I love the whole controversy over on South’s page with this Peter dude. People don’t realize it, but South LIVES for this sort of shit. It turns him on. I liken South to a shark smelling blood in the water. He begins circling his prey, moving in for the kill. The more controversial, the more excited he gets. Hell, it’s not even noon yet, and he’s probably had sex five times, he’s so aroused.

She do know me well….

Arnold Comes Out Swinging:

Arnold Schwarzenegger is starting to step out and express some actual opinions of late. The more he does this the more you realize he’s not exactly a toe-the-line Republican conservative. In radio interviews yesterday we learned that:

Arnold doesn’t believe that the government should be powerful enough to hold a gun to a woman’s head and force her to have a baby she doesn’t want to have.
He is against school choice. He thinks we need to work within the “present system,” as he calls it. The present system is a union dominated, government operated abortion. But, then, he’s for abortion … so thus far he’s being consistent.
He supports the so-called “assault weapons ban” and the Brady Bill. Bear in mind that there is no evidence that the assault weapons ban has actually saved any lives. Ditto for the Brady Bill. This position is the result of adopting a politically correct political position without making any attempt to discover the facts.
Arnold wants to close what he calls the “gun show loophole.” Trouble is, there IS no gun show loophole. People who sell guns at gun shows are subject to the exact same rules, laws and regulations that any other person selling a gun, whether it be through the classified ads or in a gun store, are subject to.
Arnold likes the drug war. Again, this is a position based on emotion and not one based on any careful study of the facts.
Arnold wants prayer in government schools. Remember … those who support prayer in government schools are concerned about your child, not theirs.
Sort of a mixed bag, isn’t it? You know these Republican die-hards though. That first position I mentioned above will be enough to send many Republicans screaming into the electoral wilderness. If there is anything some Republicans just can’t stand it’s the idea of the government not having control over a woman’s reproductive life.

And Finally Arnold on gay marraiges: “”I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman”

Kinda says a lot don’t it? Maybe he’d be better off opening a gym.

Tom Byron Living on the Street and Eating Pork an Beans Out of a Can:

Or at least he must be, he posted this on June 14,2003

On the situation at Extreme Associates; “I would LOVE to shoot Monica Sweetheart. She wouldn’t work for Extreme. A lot of girls wouldn’t. Can’t say I blame them. I mean, who wants to do a 12 hour Zupko anal scene and then have their check bounce? Live and learn… So, since I don’t have the taint of Extreme on me anymore hopefully I’ll have the opportunity to utilize a lot of good talent I missed out on! I’ll live on the street and eat pork and beans out of a can before I let an Evolution check bounce, I swear to God!” - Tom Byron

7/19/03 - Olivia OLovely Writes on her site:

Well, it finally happened. Evolution has screwed me! In more than a few ways! :o) But seriously, they were supposed to pay me yesterday for their last week of having under a “non-exclusive” contract and they simply told me that “they don’t have the money and that they had to postpone all of their shoots next week too because they have run out of money.” They also said they don’t have a time frame to give me about paying me for the last week. They actually want to postpone the contract signing until October/November because by then they’ll have money coming in. WOW!!!! DO they actually think I’ll be all like “Of course, I’ll still sign with you! You have treated me wonderful so far!” Yeah right! I’ll be lucky if I even see this last payment they owe me. What shame too! I know there all a lot of you that like the way Tom Byron shoots, such a shame they have to continue on with the same lousy reputation as Extreme. I really thought and was giving the benefit of the doubt to those guys. Oh well!

So there ya have it, No Evolution didn’t bounce a check so technically maybe he has an out but they did just as bad…they flat out didn’t pay her.

censor, n. [L. censere, to judge] an official with the power to examine literature, mail, etc. and remove or prohibit anything considered obscene, objectionable, etc. — vt to act as a censor of (a book, etc.) — censorship, n

Re: Pete Pelletier (greenlantern1972@yahoo.com)

Dear Mike:

As you already know, I spend a little time on the internet. I read a few newsgroups, check out the porn gossip pages twice a day or so, handle the massive amounts of email I get from my weekly KSEX show and try to hack into various government websites. It’s rare, I think, to find anything perfect in this life, especially where the online world is concerned…but I think you’ve finally gone and done it.

You have, by all appearances, discovered an example of The Perfect Jackass.

Censorship? Did this hydrocephalic tick turd actually accuse you of CENSORSHIP, of all things, simply because you wouldn’t run one of his poorly written, idiot fanboy press releases?!?! For God’s sake, I have now heard it all — I have had it up to HERE with morons like this — my faith in humanity is at an absolute end, and I’m crawling back into the primordial muck from whence I slithered.

The word “Censorship”, for those who actually know and care something about free speech in this country, rings a much more ominous tone than this petty little non-situation merits. KTLA, here in Los Angeles, has several news programs…all of whom are covering Mary Carey’s “campaign”…so, since they obviously have covered adult industry news in the past, would this mental midget accuse them of “censorship” for not covering Leanna Hart’s dance schedule? How about Bill O’Reilly? Bill Maher? Why aren’t they covering Leanna’s dance schedule? By god, it must be that demon censorship again.

Way to go, Mike…you’ve now become part of the Establishment, trodding on the rights of the little people. Good job. This guy is obviously an idiot. Flush him and let’s get on with more important stories, like when Ron Jeremy raped me behind Bennigan’s at last year’s Tampa Show.

Yours in hell,
Tim Case

Pete Pelletier Come Down and Get Your Dumb Fuck of the Month Award:

Pete Pelletier JackAss O the Month

This all started when this guy tried to get me to run a very poorly written press release about a washed up ex-porn chick named Leanna Hart and I told him I don’t do press releases send it to AVN.

His response:

Date: Tue, 26 Aug 2003 16:14:59 -0700 (PDT)
From: Pete Pelletier <greenlantern1973@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: New updated Leeanna Heart appearance info!!!
To: Mike South <mikesouth@mikesouth.com>

Then what’s with the press release from Jacklyn Lick, another Universal Entertainment feature??

The 1st page on your site says “Adult Industry News”. This falls under News.

To which I replied:

Jackie sent a FUNNY press release…big diff…disguise yer press release in a funny story and its a done deal.
Oh and BTW I decide whats news and what aint on mikesouth.com.
You may appeal it to a higher authority and if God calls down to me from heaven and says run the lame ass thing from Pete Pelletier I will reconsider.

Pete replies:

It’s actually a press release I put together as a fan & friend of Leeanna’s. Since you feel that giving Leeanna Heart some publicity (which she NEVER gets from you) is a waste of your time, then I guess emailing you is a waste of my time (Especially since Gene Ross, Luke Ford (setgo.com), Kevin Moore (stunningcurves.com), Terri Redor (thefloatingworld.com)) have the press release ALREADY & feel that it’s good enough to post.

And my response:

Further reason NOT to run it…if they all ran it then be happy about it.
ever wonder why Leanna gets no PR from me?…She doesnt do any fucking thing PR worthy…some might call that a blessing….never fear you will get PR tomorrow but I dont think its exactly what you had in mind.

And Pete writes:

If I ran a website & you asked me to post something even though you also posted it to other people, I’d still run it to help you out & disseminate your news as widely as possible. Since it appears you flunked out of “How to Sharpen a Pencil” class in Public Relations 101, I’ll have to remember to NEVER, EVER pick up a Mike South tape or DVD & to tell all Leeanna’s fans to also boycott your product and website.

And Me:

Start your own website then pal. tell em whatever ya want.

And Pete:

You think you’re going to jerk me over tomorrow?? That’s fine. I’ve already got the wheels of “the MikeSouth boycott” rolling.

So now I do a little checking….This fucking twit isn’t even a mikesouth.com member nor has he ever been one. but he seems to think that he has some divine right to dictate to me what is porn news and what isn’t. I have meet some dumb fucks in my life but Pete Pelletier, you take the cake bro. BTW I never saw your release on any other sites. I did see an upsurge in hits today from something called theeroticreview.com I take it you are responsible for that so thanks for the boycott announcement there, please post it other places too OK.

Mostly mikesouth.com readers are highly intelligent, I think you guys prove that in your writings to me and as such I don’t want Pete to be coming to this site, I hope he stops forever, he is just too fucking stupid to be reading this site, I think he would feel more at home reading…a McGuffey Reader.

So I guess I lost all of Leanna’s fans…and counting Pete and Leanna (who I am pretty sure doesn’t read this site) I’m down 2 readers.

On The Other Hand Leanna if you do read this site and want to disassociate yourself from this moron gimme a shout and I will run your response unabridged.

OK Nuff said

Mike:

I need to add my 2 cents in to the Ron Jeremy fiasco. I’m like everyone else in the biz and have known him since Day One. You see things, you hear things, and discard 90% of what you hear, and store the last 10% away for the future.

First: Ladies, I am NOT being unsympathetic to your feelings. I am also NOT trying to defend Ron. I am trying to show you how it looks to an OUTSIDER who could NEVER fully understand the porn world and the people therein. If you feel he raped you, then the ball is in your court. This is serious stuff.

Is Ron a strong-arm or forceful rapist? Doubtful. Half the time he can’t stay AWAKE - I’ve seen him fall asleep while getting blown! He gets winded cutting a steak! Is Ron a horndog? You betcha. That’s the beauty of Ron (did I just use Ron and Beauty in the same sentence?). Ron CAN get laid at the drop of a taco anytime and anywhere and DOES - I’ve seen it happen too many times to count. I’ve asked quite a few women why they do it, and more than a few have answered that it is because the always wondered, down (ahem!) deep, if they could “accommodate” this above-average shlong. Well, that and bragging rights, naturally. Ron and Elvis. Go figure.

Ron is no Angel. Like any other guy, he has his own methods of weaseling into a woman as well as a chow line with equally impressive results. Hell, he is so damn good at it that sometimes he even uses the fact that he sweats to his advantage, but I can’t give away all of his secrets, right? Fortunately, he usually has the women coming on to him.

One of the recent complaints against him that has widely surfaced was, I believe, a woman (no names here!) claiming that he took advantage of her because he took things farther than “just putting the tip of his dick in her pussy.” That complaint is incredibly stupid. If Dr. Phil heard that he would probably ask when she fell off The Stupid Tree. Here is a woman, obviously not to ever be confused with Mother Theresa, who willingly gets naked in a hotel room with a porn performer, gets him hard (we really DON’T need to know how she accomplishes this!), lets him stick the tip of his dick in her pussy, and then bitches because he may momentarily go deeper than just the tip? We aren’t talking about getting off, either. Just deeper, momentarily. And remember, we are also not talking Nick Manning here; this is the Hedgehog, Ron Jeremy. I don’t care if it is for a quick picture or whatever - if you consent to let a porn stud put part of his dick in your pussy, can you reasonably expect a guy with a raging hard-on to smile, say thank-you-very-much for getting me all excited and horny and having to stop at that point, and get dressed and walk away? THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS HALF A RAPE. C’mon now. A male porn star is like a vampire trying to enter a home: if asked to come in, he invariably will do so, but he has to be given permission to enter first. So enough already. Would you expect to take Ron (or anyone) to a steak house when he is starving, buy him a sizzling steak, put it in front of him, and tell him that he can only chew on it but not swallow it? Yeah, right. Actually, Ron would eat his food AND everyone else’s left-overs, but that is another story. Can you imagine Judge Judy hearing someone say that “Yes, Your honor, I am a porn star. I fuck for a living. I love anal, d.p., and bukkake and could probably take on the Morman Tabernackle Choir in half an evening with enough lube. My complaint? Well, uh, I was naked in a room with another naked porn star, just the two of us, and told him that he could put part of his dick inside me, and he slid it in deeper than I would have liked for a few seconds, so I think that means he raped me.” Save THAT one for Sweeps Week!

All this aside, I think that the real reason for the sudden Jeremy complaints is timing. Ron is hot, and people are riding his coat tails whenever possible - especially people who NEED some publicity at this stage in their fading or stale careers. I am suggesting no names in particular. Hell, even writing this letter to you, South, could be construed the same way (trying to get publicity due to someone else’s recent press) but we both know that isn’t the case, fortunately. I am just trying to clear things up or at least put things in perspective.

Bottom line: I like Ron. I like Ginger. Hell, I like ‘em all. This is the fuck business, and people WILL get fucked one way or another.

How hot IS Ron right now? Very. I just received my advance copy of the October issue of Playboy. On the back inside page where they list what is coming up next month (Nov. issue) is this blurb:

“THE HEDGEHOG AT 50 - You’ve seen Ron Jeremy in action, but do you know how the unlikely sex star became one of porn’s titans? Having reached the half-century mark, with more than 1600 films under his bulging belt, he finally comes clean. Plus: six inches of separation, starring Ron’s A-List friends. An unforgettable profile by Erik Fleming.”

Like I said, it is all in the timing.

Dirty Bob

Ron Jeremy A rapist:

I have been trying to figure out what to say on this because honestly, I don’t know what to say. Then along comes JimmyD who sums it up pretty damn well cept for one thing…No Ronnie isn’t Isreali Yes Ronnie IS Jewish.

From Simplyjimmyd.com

Wow! I smell a Made-for-TV movie. Something along the lines of “Who is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe?” Maybe they’ll call it “Who is Raping the Great Pornstars of America?” And then it could be subtitled, “The Ron Jeremy Story.” I know, I know, that’s a stretch. I just felt I needed to make a food connection. Get it? Chefs… Food… Pornstars… Sex… Ron Jeremy.

Now look people, I have no clue whether Ron Jeremy is a serial rapist or not. And I’m certainly not about to call anyone a liar. I know Ronnie and I know some of his accusers. Ron Jeremy does not strike me as a rapist, unless you’re talking about raping a buffet line. But then, some of the girls who are accusing him don’t strike me as liars or worse either. So what we have here is a genuine mystery.

There are, however, a few things I’m pretty sure I do know. Contrary to what Ginger Lynn says, I’m pretty confident there hasn’t been some giant, Ron Jeremy cover-up on a global, porn-world scale. I’ve been in this biz for more than a decade and no one–NO ONE– has ever asked me to keep my mouth shut about something as lurid as the Hedgehog raping women. Mostly, in the jizz biz (and only on very rare occasions), if someone asks you to keep your mouth shut about something, the something usually has to do with money and someone screwing someone out of it, or it has to do with the private life of someone in the jizz biz who wants their life kept private. But also remember that secrets are generally not well-kept in this business which makes me wonder how Ron Jeremy could be going around raping lots of women for a long time and I never heard a fucking word about it.

Also remember that ( for the most part) pornographers LOVE to gossip! They—make that we– LOVE to talk shit about each other. And also remember something else about pornographers: We love to fucking lie. That’s right! Lying and/or taking the truth and turning into chopmeat is practically the national pastime for pornographers. That’s not to say I’m saying anyone’s lying here. I’m just saying there’s a lot of lying that goes on in the porn biz in general if you get what I’m saying. And please believe me, I’m not lying about this!

Of course, there’s liars and there’s liars. And in the XXX industry the most consummate liars are generally Israelis, which neither Ronnie nor his accusers are. I know that sounds bigoted–maybe some would even say it sounds anti-Semitic– but bigotry and anti-Semitism aside, the fact is it’s true. We have a saying here in our little, Bill Margold-christened ‘Playpen of the Damned’ — we sometimes say about someone, “He (or she) has Israeli Disease.” And if someone asks just what Israeli Disease is? We tell them: “Israeli Disease is where every time his (or her) lips move, they lie.”

But again, and please believe me about this, I’m not saying anyone is lying here! Although we all must face the plain naked truth that someone is… lying that is.

So the big, BIG million-dollar question is: “Who is lying?”

P.S. Don’t expect this story to take on the magnitude of the Kobe Bryant rape story. Don’t even expect it to make it to page two in the Valley papers. Cuz you see, in the grand scheme of things when it comes to shit goin on in this fucking business–this kind of shit that is–the rest of world could basically give a shit less. Of course, that’s just my humble opinion.

Charging somone with rape is a pretty damn serious thing. Matter of fact, unless that someone has been convicted of rape calling him a rapist is slanderous. I don’t know enough of the facts or the people to say much. I do know Ron Jeremy, pretty damn well even and while I wouldn’t leave him alone with my refridgerator and while I do know him to be a bit touchy he has never, to my knowledge asserted himself on any of the girls I have introduced to him. One other thing I can testify to is that I have never ever been asked to keep anything in porn quiet except when it involved someones personal life. A large scale cover up in this biz seems unlikely, I’m 4 square with JimmyD on that one. I’m sure that this will get uglier before it gets resolved and may even end up in court.

The best Parody Yet, The Maxim issue you NEVER want to read.

Ten Signs a Porn Chick is Interested in You:

I was reading the net today and stumbled across a story titled 10 signs a girl is interested in you…Well knowing that porn chicks aint yer average girls I decided to do all my readers a favor and list the ten signs a pornchick is Interested in you.

10. She keeps glancing at the bulge in your pants, the one where your wallet is to be exact.

9. She smiles at you at a porn show, and she actually remembers the 1600 dollars you paid her for an hour of sex booked through erotica2000.

8. She goes out of her way to get you to notice her, for example you live in Orange County, she lives in Reseda and she shows up on your doorstep because she was evicted.

7. She lets you play with her hair. Hey she didnt spend all that time in make up so that you could fuck it up ya know.

6. She initiates the conversation, and it isn’t the sentence “Get the fuck off of me” when someone says “cut”

5. She laughs at your jokes, the ones your are telling on stage at the AVN Awards that is.

4. She asks if you like certain activities, like an extra girl, or in the case of Jill Kelly, being buttfucked by a gay guy.

3. She pays you a compliment, like “Wow your band is really good, I’m surprised you dont have a record deal yet, you can sponge off me till you get one.

2. She makes sexual comments, like I normally charge 1600 per hour, but since you are a washed up musician with no future I will do you for free and keep you in dope and strippers to boot.

1. She kisses you, hey sex is no big deal but kissing, now that’s personal.

Chief Justice Roy Moore put that monument with the Ten Commandments on state property to, in his own words, acknowledge that the State of Alabama derives its legal code from God, from the Christian religion. Yesterday, in a piece written for The Wall Street Journal, Moore said that the federal judge who has ordered the monument’s removal is “telling the state of Alabama that it may not acknowledge God.” Which God, Mr. Moore? Allah? Buddha? Zeus? Most rational people know which God Moore is referring to. It’s the God worshiped in the Christian Church. The Christian God who gave the Ten Commandments to Moses. Moore wants the State of Alabama to recognize this particular God, and that’s why that monument was placed in the judicial building. Most rational people can see that this effectively, at least in Roy Moore’s mind, establishes Christianity as the official religion of the State of Alabama .

Let’s get on to the larger issue here.

What is it about some Christians in this country that drives them to try to push their religious beliefs into the fabric of our government? It’s not just about the Ten Commandments in a government building; it’s also about prayer in government schools.

The purpose of government is not to promote or even to recognize any religious belief. The purpose of government is to make sure that every citizen is allowed to pursue their religious faith freely and without either limitation, intimidation or coercion from any other person.

If you believe, as I do, that the Ten Commandments are divinely inspired then you are perfectly free to make as many copies as you desire and post them where you can see them virtually all day. Tape them to the walls in every room of your home and onto the dashboard of your car. Print them on a card in your wallet and, if your employer doesn’t object (after all, it’s his property, not yours) post them on your office wall. You can recite them when you get up in the morning, and again before you go to bed at night. Who knows? If you’re pure and righteous enough, you may even bring yourself to live by them! You and you fellow church members are also free to have the Ten Commandments in every single room of your church. You can arrive at church an hour early every Sunday and just sit there and stare at them.

Why, then, is it so important for you to have them posted in a government building? Are you going to stop by the Alabama Judicial Building every day to gaze at the Ten Commandments? I dare say that most of the people who are supporting Roy Moore in Alabama never ventured down to that judicial building until this controversy erupted.

OK … Now I’ll answer my own question. I know why this is so important to you. It’s the same reason why prayer in government schools is important. It’s not for you, is it? You have your own Ten Commandments at home, and you make sure your kids pray at home too. It’s for those other people, isn’t it? It’s for all of those people who don’t get the same exposure to the Ten Commandments and to prayer that you do. You can’t reach them in their homes. You can’t force them to go to church. You can’t take control of their car radio for a morning sermon. So … get them when they walk into a government building! Get the children to pray in the government school, and put those Ten Commandments right there in the lobby of that government building where everybody who enters has to see them.

Now … for those of you who don’t believe that the real issue here is forcing others to recognize Christian dogma, just take a look at some of those signs people are waving behind Roy Moore the next time he steps up to a bank of microphones. That ought to convince you.

And a Final Thought on The State of California:

Republican candidate Peter Ueberroth has some interesting statistics for those of you who think this “tax the rich” thing is such a good idea. In 2001 there were 44,000 taxpayers in California reporting incomes of $1,000,000 or more. One year later there are only 29,000. In 2000 millionaires paid $15 billion in California income taxes. That was 37% of the total amount of state income tax paid by all Californians. One year later this figure was cut almost in half, down to $8 billion or 25% of total state income taxes paid. Some of this is due to reduced incomes for some high-achievers. But the evidence is clear. Wealthy Californians are voting with moving vans. They’re leaving. They’re leaving for greener pastures where their business aren’t so over-regulated, where they can actually afford worker’s compensation insurance, where they don’t have to pay employees not to work, and where they can keep more of the money they earn.

Just a few years ago Democrats were telling the rest of the country “Watch California ! We’re in charge out there. We have the legislature, the Governor’s office, and the two U.S. Senators. Watch what we can do! See how good things can be with Democrats in control!”

Fine. They’re in control and California is in the tank. Businesses are packing up and leaving to escape high taxes and oppressive regulation. Spending is out of control. Illegal aliens are voting by the thousands and, in some cases, actually controlling local elections. This is what Democrats have brought California . Now let’s watch them try to fix things up. Californians made this bed, let them lay in it a bit longer.

Hamilton Steele Questions my Southern Heritage:

Hey Mike,

This is what happens when I can’t fall asleep at night. I noticed you had my yahoo group options set to no email. So I’m sending you a copy before JimmyD calls you.

Hammy

I will be the first person to admit that I have had a hard time trying to figure out Mike South. Lets face it, here is a pornographer earning a living in Bum-Fuck Georgia. (Seeing as I am also from a Bum-fuck no place, I can understand and appreciate the appeal of living in such a location.) My only question has always been, “how does he do it?” I’ve been to his website and he has some damn nice samples of slut ass on it. But fuck they aren’t porn chicks and Mike certainly doesn’t look like my buddy Nick Manning. If Mike was in the porn valley I could simply say, “eh where this is a buck, there is a porn chick to fuck.” But alas, I’m rambling and off topic.

Mike wrote this statement on his website, “The enemy of my enemy is not always my friend.”

That’s profound and very wise. I’ve been told that Mike has a big cock. Not that I care because I don’t intend to ever get close to it! But I’m a meat puppet and will readily admit that there isn’t enough blood in my body to run both my dick and my brain. Don’t laugh, I’m just telling it like it is. When I think I can’t fuck and when I fuck I can’t think.

Mike is also a very large man. Shit I don’t know what it is in Georgia but those bastards grow them big. Perhaps a man of Mike’s stature has enough vital body fluid to function with a boner. Or it’s perhaps as I have come to suspect that Mike South is really an Alien and here is my evidence.

1) He has friends in the mid-west and we all know that aliens love to grab farmers in the mid-west and give them anal probes.

2) Mike South has often been seen wearing a T-shirt that reads “100% Negro.” But Mike is obviously Caucasian. Only an Alien from another planet would make such a simple mistake.

3) Mike looks like a Georgian Bubba but he obviously has the technical knowledge to operate highly technical equipment. Think about it, he knows how to operate a camcorder, edit video and maintain a website. (I bet his VCR doesn’t even flash 12:00 on it)

[Actually all 4 of them flash 12:00]

4) I’m told he doesn’t know the first thing about a 350 Chevy big block engine.

[I always Preferred the 396 or the 454 in the Big Block Family and the 327 in the small blocks, though I had a small block 400 with 4 bolt mains once….solid little motor]

5) He doesn’t work in porn valley and gets hot chicks, which have never done porn, to fuck him on film. So they must either be androids or under the influence of an Alien Mind Control device.

6) He doesn’t make spelling or grammar mistakes in anything he writes. Come On People! This is a dead give away. Think about it! From Georgia and a Pornographer and has a strong grasp of the written language. I just can’t reconcile these things.

[OK that ones wrong, I make tons of spelling and grammatical errors here, the evidence that I might be alien is that y’all cant see em.]

7) He makes frequent trips to Porn Valley, but has anyone ever seen him film anything while he is down here? NO! What he is doing is gathering DNA material from porn sets to clone his own master race of Porn Slut harlots to take over the world. (And he is mad that Nick Manning sells his man juice at a greatly inflated price… Alien command must have a budget.)

Adella at Digital Playground is one of his friends. Hmm! Digital Playground? Sounds like some sort of Alien computer base. And aren’t we now in the midst of a mega computer virus problem? Hmm the SoBig virus… Like Mike’s stature or his dick. (Not that I care because I don’t intend to ever get close to it!)

9) Mike always knows what is going on in the Porn Valley. Shit, I don’t know whom the girl is I’m going to get to fuck when I’m set. How the hell does he know what’s going on in porn valley from 3 time zones away?

10) I’ve been told Mike wears underwear. Everyone knows that pornographers never wear underwear. What is more perplexing is for such a smart guy he doesn’t cash in on his fame and sell them like Nick Manning.
Shit I even did a search on Ebay for used Mike South boxers. (Purely for research… I have no intention of ever buying a pair. After his entire unit would had to have been in them and I don’t intend to ever get close to it or anything that held it!)

So there you have it, my proof that Mike South is really an Alien

Hamilton

Just damn I dunno if this should offend me or if I should take it as a compliment. For my peace of mind I reckon I will take it as a compliment…it is kinda funny though and it tickles me to be a topic of conversation tween JimmyD and Hamilton Steele.

Geekin:

Yes I admit it, I’m a geek. I was there at midnight to purchase “The Two Towers” even brought it home and watched it…Flawless Filmmaking and the first look at “Return of the King” due out in 3 months. Without a doubt worth the 14.99 price I paid for it.

The Gift That Keeps on Giving:

Wicked Pictures had to cancel shooting of “Wicked’s Pool Party” on Sunday when 5 of the performers called in with “feminine problems”. Word is that they aint feminine problems at all but STD Problems. There’s a wicked (Pardon the pun) outbreak of The Clap in Porn Valley right now, even AIM has issued an advisory.

For all of AIMs hoopla about testing, getting tested for the clap every 30 days may be a feel good measure but it damn sure wont keep these outbreaks from happening, by 30 days everyone in porn pretty much has it.

Performer responsibility sure would be nice but don’t hold your breath.

Another Gift That Keeps on Giving:

I am still getting the sobig virus at a rate of almost 500 per hour so if you read this site and haven’t followed the link to disinfect your system…do it hell do it once a day just to be sure you havent be re-infected.

Devon Returns:

After a bit of an absense, Devon will return to host the DPTonight Show Tuesday Night.. There’s been a ton of speculation about where she has been, honestly I don’t know I wish her the best regardless.

I Have met The Enemy:

In a talk forum recently Tom Byron has made some rather passionate pleas for us all to help poor Rob Black and his wife Lizard. He makes statements like Rob isn’t the enemy, Ashcroft is, blah blah.

Sorry Tommy, go take another hit off your bong and drag your ass back into the exile you so richly deserve. You see Rob and Lizard ARE the enemy because they have been harmful to the adult industry and just because they wear a different face than the enemy that the Federal Government represents, they are still an enemy. I for one would relish seeing Rob and Lizard in jail, not for obscenity though. Of course the brain trust over there chose to ship that shit via the U.S. Mail and that’s about as dumb as your decision to ally yourself with Rob in the first place.

The enemy of my enemy is not always my friend, and the fact is most people in porn hate the position we have been put in by this loud mouthed punk. Remember about a year ago on this site….I listed Extreme as the most likely candidate for for a federal bust…I hate beng right all the time.

It seems the overwhelming majority of the people in the Free Speech Coalition are, in fact, against this unholy alliance to ramrod through the .xxx Top Level Domain. One thing you can bet your ass on, this is ALL about the money. Jason (The Snake) Hendales, The HWMIC at ICM Registry is fond of telling us how the government CAN’T regulate the domain. But you can bet your sweet ass The Snake won’t be there when we HAVE to defend ourselves from the Government.

Face it This is all about making money and ICM Registry stands to make a pretty penny if this passes. Jason and everyone else from ICM Registry could give a fuck what happens once he starts selling the domains, all he wants is the money.

The Snake Strikes:

Word I am getting is that Jason “The Snake” knows that given the current membership, the unholy alliance he is trying to forge to lead us all into slaughter is probably going to fail. Is that going to stop The Snake? NO. He packed the FSC meeting with “new members” and they are joining the FSC at a pretty high rate….hey at 50 bucks a pop the 5 Grand it would cost ICM Registry to stack the deck with 100 members voting for him is peanuts, way cheaper than trying to buy off the votes currently there. Lets face it even 50 Grand is nothing compared to what he will make if this .XXX Trojan Horse becomes a reality.

The FSC is wise to this effort, I applaud them so far, lets see if they can stand thier ground…Hell I might even join.

If for no other reason than to tell The Snake and ICM Registry to drag your sorry asses back to Canada then FUCK OFF AND DIE!

Do I feel strongly about this…OH HELL Yes!

Jenna v. Ginger:

Last week Jenna got a big billboard on Times Square and made a big announcement about it being a “first” and AVN ran a big story about it. Along comes an obscure actor named Taliesian who corrctly pointed out that it was in fact, not a first. That Ginger Lynn and John Holmes had a big sign on Times Square. AVN went on to point out some other interesting facts, like Club Ginger way preceeded Club Jenna as did I dream of Ginger and Gingers E! True Hollywood Story.

The article on AVN.com didn’t last long, they yanked it real quick, what everyone was askin me is why. Most thought Jenna pitched a fit, and she probably did, but reportedly it was Steve Hirsch that had it pulled. Would you treat the mother of your child like that?

Some Political Analysis:

When I predicted that Ahhhnold would likely be the next Guvnah of California I think I was wrong. The way I see it Arnold is the Republicans best hope BUT Arnold isn’t much of a Republican, and his lets soak the Californians with more taxes idea don’t wash with the more devoted Republicans, So you have a few Republicans splitting the vote. Now the President could quietly ask the other guys to step down so that Ahhnold might win but that would be a dangerous tactic given that Ahhhhnold isn’t exactly toeing the party line, and, if elected would almost certainly prove to be an embarrassment to the Republican Party. So the best bet now looks to be Bustemante. Damn shame a good Libertarian don’t have a chance.

Withdrawing Support For Mary Carey:

After hearing the porn for guns idea I must withdrw my support for Mary Carey. You see I am a staunch supporter of the 2nd amendment, and given the choice of giving up my first or my second amendment rights I will fight with my guns to keep both. You really want to get the fucking thugs off the streets….get rid of the war on drugs, make em all legal. Put the profits into the hands of Wall Street and take it out of the hands of criminals. Now ya got room to keep the thugs that use a gun to rob a liquor store in prison until he is too fucking old to be able to pick it up anymore.

Does California have a secessionist party? Theres one I’d support!

Rob Black Gonna Play Dead?

There is a lot of talk that he is going to plea bargain to a 2 year sentence, and probably a fine. In my opinion it’s a smart move on his part, plus it will get him out of our hair for a while, hopefully forever. What this means is that we won’t have a lot of legal questions answered regarding community standards, the Miller Test and distribution of obscenity. Its gonna be left up to the next guy to do it. If Rob doesn’t plea out this case could go all the way to the Supreme Court, for reasons that I have outlined in the past.

I want everyone who uses this site to go here and download this free fix, it will remove the sobig virus if you have it, if you dont it will tell you you never had it. Its free so just do it, Im tired of getting thousands of these things per hour.

http://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcenter/FixSbigF.exe

Just download it and run it on your computer(s).

The Fine Folks at MikeSouth.com Wish to Extend VERY Happy Birthday Wishes to:

Aaaron sends this photo of Suitcase Pimp Tim Case checking Fifi’s red panties for any remnants of jizz from Nick Manning that he might sell on the internet, undercutting Nicks price. Damn he is wearing a Wicked T Shirt and a cap that says “Tool Sucks” I hope neither sues me.

Tim Case, who is turning 38

and

Harry Weiss who is turning 41

I have no embarrassing birthday graphics or anything for these 2, so if you do, send em to me for props here!

Now I’m a Cocksucker….

Wankus writes:

Cocksucker! And Den-Cocksucker Part II ! You fucknuts crack me up.

First of all, you both know my e-mail addy and probably phone numbers, but instead of checking with me first you thought you’d bash in print. Aite…I’ll let you have that. I bash a lot of people on air before I check with them first.

I find it very funny that Den is paying such close attention since his last bash of the show, one where he said he’ll never tune in again. I also find it amusing that while Tera has missed two weeks in a row, she has still be on in total probably more in the last few months, then in a whole year at DP with their every two-three weeks a show schedule.

The real reason she’s missed is because she was on tour in Spain with BioHazard and fiancé Evan [otherwise known as Mike South’s best friend]. She’ll be back next week and on-air with fresh shows for at least the next 6 weeks, most of them from the LA studios. She’s also going to begin a national feature dancing tour soon and I’m sure you can check back on MikeSouth.com for a complete schedule.

You’re top 10 list is a little off in your assumptions as to why she hasn’t made it lately so let me correct them below with the true reasons, following yours:
10. She was in another plane crash and is the sole survivor but hasn’t been rescued yet.

***Her new tits caught the eyes of passing pilots who had a head on air collision, they died, she’s in perfect health.

9. She is visiting her father at the winery he owns, Kendall Jackson and Patrick

***She’s in therapy because Samantha always tried to be a father figure to her but when the time came to grow up and go to college, she wouldn’t let Tera out of the house

8. She is visiting her fathers grave ( He died in a plane crash years ago )

***Evan is having the Mike South tombstone installed at a local grave yard in anticipation

7. She is back with The Ford Modeling Agency and has been shooting for the covers of Vogue, Cosmopolitan and Time

***That actually isn’t too far from the truth

6. She has returned to nursing school to stay on top of the field, and on finishing she will go on to become a doctor.

***She is giving Evan lemon juice to nurse his voice after singing all night, followed by the two of them getting naked and playing doctor

5. She was in Acapulco with Adella (who has also been gone for 2 weeks) begging Adella to please do her and Evan’s PR.

***She is eating bad Mexican food at a restaurant called Acapulco and as her stomach begins to ache she is reminded of her relationship with Adella

4. She cant get to the studio because the bank repossessed the Hummer she bought Evan, not to mention the engagement ring she bought for him to give to her.

***She can’t get to the studio because she’s giving Evan a hummer at the bank while she fingers herself, causing abrasions on her clit from the huge rock on her hand that Evan gave her

3. Evans band is playing an important 2 week gig at the “Ease On Inn” in Lugnut, Louisianna and this could be their big break so she has to be there.

***Mike South’s band, “The Klan Lovers” is appearing at CBGBs in the village and she can’t wait to see him get lynched

2. All of the above

***None of the above from Mike or Wankus

And the Number 1 Reason why Totally Tera has been Teraless for the last 2 weeks

1. She Flaked

***Nope…she was with Jill Kelly on Stern this morning!

Leave the girl alone Mike. Maybe it’s fun for you, but if you knew the whole story, you probably wouldn’t be staying in the marina next time you visit LA.

Yes but if the “Whole Story” came from Tera….I wouldn’t believe a word of it…she has repeatedly proven that she lies compulsively, and she has done it to me.

Wank

I knew this would be fun!!!! I was around the day Tera came into the biz and I will be around the day when people have long forgotten the little one trick pony. Whatever fame Tera has at this point she owes largely to DP and Adella I’m old school about biting the hand that feeds ya. But all that aside…this is funny shit!

My Buddya Harry sends me the BEST reason!

Hey Hillbilly, the main reason Tera hasn’t been on Totally tera is because she is embarrassed because boyfriend Evan isn’t a good enough singer to go to porn star karaoke with everyone.

Harry, thats GENIUS! Evan Wank is crackin up on that one.

Due in part to our mailing list and the Networks presence on the Web, I have been asked by certain Publishers, Producers, and Directors, to send out this webmail to the entire adult entertainment community. That includes talent, stage hands, videographers, photographers, makeup, writer etc. Please understand, what I am about to say, has been discussed in great length at closed-door meetings over the last few days.

The adult entertainment industry is under attack, from three fronts at one time. It sounds crazy I know, but its true. We are under attack on the Internet, in the work place and from the United States government.

(1) This week, we have been under attack on the Web. These email worms, that have been unleashed on us, is unbelievable to say the least. They have been striking in force at all adult ISP’s, forcing them to spend millions of dollars to upgrade their security. I am sure you have noticed, that email servers who ever they may be, have been down for extensive maintenance. The New Jersey Quad has told us, this will continue, until they can get a grasp on the attack.

There is protection that they do recommend. Firewalls and virus updates every 12 hours. Do not under any circumstances, download any attachments. View it only on the web. If you are uploading files on to your server. Publish them only through the provided program publishers, that came with your boxed program. Do not use any FTP provider, that did not come with the program. Do not under any circumstance, use any cracked programs, that has been downloaded in the last two weeks, to publish to your websites. There are many viruses, that have not yet, been detected, but have been stored in theses cracked programs, timed like a bomb to hit at a precise moment. A select few, and myself were given a demonstration of this yesterday, believe me it is true. In fact yesterday evening, The Liberty Network, was under attack, when hundreds of bogus return webmail from one or two addresses contained a self-inflicted virus, that was caught of course by our virus protection and security.

(2) The adult performer is under attack, from many made up fly by night production companies. This month alone, was one of the slowest production and manufacturing months the industry has had in a long time. These fly by the waste, production companies have seized the moment and rented motel rooms, hotel room, houses, what ever it takes to set up these bogus casting calls. Then the procedure is very simple, they send out bulk email to talent offering employment. They forget to mention at these made up casting calls, the talent must do a fifteen to twenty minute solo performance. This is recorded on digital tape for bulk content and video use. The talent is given a waver to sign before; he or she does this performance. The talent is never paid and of course never hired for the production, because very simply THERE IS NONE! The use of miss-direction is a wonderful tool for a dishonest person or group. Watch yourself, because if you do not no one will.
(3) The United States government has found the time to direct and focus once again on the adult industry. This has proven itself last week, with the detainment of one of our own. They are well focused on the San Fernando Valley and it will not stop, guaranteed. The only thing, that I will say to you my industry, watch yourselves at all times, make sure you know who and what you are talking to, and about. Keep your eyes and ears open, but your mouth still. Do your job and do it, the best you know how. This may get us, all through the next couple of months.

Thank You and God Bless the Adult Entertainment Industry,
Steven William Banan

http://www.thelibertynetwork.tv/

Yes we are all painfully aware of the email attack, and while I blame the fucks who wrote this Virus (SOBIG) Bottom line is that stupidity is what is causing it to spread. Yes, it’s time to start pointing the finger at the complete dumbasses who are opening email attachments. Don’t you know by now that’s dumb? Here it is in a nutshell for you.

DON’T USE OUTLOOK! Get Eudora…its free and it doesn’t automatically try to run programs attached to email.

IF you MUST use Outlook set it in the options to NEVER run attachments

No matter what you use, NEVER EVER open an attachment unless it ENDS with .jpg or .mpg

I DO NOT EVER attach anything to my emails except an occasional photo (.jpg) and if I attach that you will expect it.

This virus has its own mailserver built into it and it can send out emails at a very high rate of speed and those emails will contain the return email addresses of everyone in the infected computers address book. In short just because it looks like it came from mikesouth@mikesouth.com or devon@digitalplayground.com does NOT mean that it did.

Once more. STOP OPENING THE FUCKING VIRUS ATTACHMENTS YOU IDIOTS!

OK For All of You Who Asked:

Yesterday I referenced Firto, Gimlet, GoodGulf and Arrowroot. These are all characters in the Harvard Lampoon satire of “The Lord of the Rings” Called “Bored of the Rings” This is without a doubt the funniest thing you will ever read. If you like TLOTR you will love the way this book is done. It was written in 1969 and until recently has been out of print. I highly recommend that you read this book, there is a laugh in damn near every sentence.

Example:

As Goodgulf stepped onto the bridge the passage echoed with an ominous dribble, dribble, and a great crowd of narcs burst forth. In their midst was a towering dark shadow too terrible to describe. In it’s hand it held a huge black globe and on its chest was written in cruel runes, “Villanova.”

“Aiyee,” shouted Legolam, “A ballhog!”

Goodgulf turned to face the dread shadow, and as he did, it slowly circled toward the bridge, bouncing the grim sphere as it came. The Wizard reeled back and, clutching at the ropes, raised his wand. “Back, vile hoopster,” he cried.

At this the ballhog strode forward onto the bridge, and stepping back, the wizard drew himself up to his full height and said, “Avaunt, thin-clad one!”

Arrowroot waved Krona. “He cannot hold the bridge,” he shouted and rushed forward.

“E pluribus unum,” cried Bromosel and leaped after him.

“Esso extra,” said Legolam, jumping behind him.

“Kaiser Frazer,” shouted Gimlet, running up to join them.

The ballhog sprang forward, and raising the dread globe over his head, uttered a triumphant cry.

“Dulce et decorum,” said Bromosel, hacking at the bridge.

“Above and beyond,” said Arrowroot, chopping a support.

“A far, far better thing,” said Legolam, slicing through the walkway.

“Nearer my God to thee,” hummed Gimlet, cutting the last stay with a quick ax stroke.

With a loud snap, the bridge collapsed, spilling Goodgulf and the ballhog into the abyss. Arrowroot turned away and, stifling a sob, ran along the passage with the rest of the company close behind…

…On the far bank of the river they found a thick strand of dead trees covered with signs in Elveranto which said, “Come to the fabulous Elf Village,” “Visit the Snake Farm,” Don’t miss Santa’s Workshop,” and “Help Keep Our Forest Enchanted!”

“Lalornadoon, Lalornadoon,” sighed Legolam, “wonder of Lower Middle Earth!”

You can Buy “Bored of the Rings” on Amazon by clicking above

And while yer at it buy a big screen TV and some other big ticket items…I get a referal fee!

It was great to talk to you. Here’s the scoop. The show is a pilot for Tribune called Jamie Unleashed. Her website is jamiewhite.com

This is the pilot so it will be shown at NATPE next year.

Info:

Looking for Southern California based people to come on the show and talk to Jamie. It’s a flat fee of $30 to $50 for the appearance.

Questions for women:

Does you man go to strip clubs and you don’t like it?
Or do you not mind?
Does you man enjoy calling phone sex operators?
Are you upset because your man has cyber sex with other women?
Are you a woman who dates married men?

Are you in a relationship and he won’t propose?
Does your man avoid the topic of marriage?
Has he avoided introducing you to his parents?
Does he say he can’t marry you because of your religion?

Questions for men:

Does your woman feel threatened because you go to stip clubs?
Have you ever been in a relationship and had a woman on the side?
Do you think it’s ok to call sex operators-that it’s not cheating?

Are you a man who has been engaged several times but never married?
Are you a man who gets tired of women saying you won’t commit?
Does your girlfriend keep bugging you about getting married and you don’t want to?

**********************

You can use any or all of the examples above. It will be a fun day. We tape on Sept. 5th from 11am to 6pm. Have anyone who fits this catagory and is willing to tell their story call me at 323-953-5858 and ask for Mary or e-mail me at foxromance@hotmail.com.

Thank you so much. I’ll call you later today.
Mary

This is real y’all so if you might fit any of these categories and want to give it a run contact Mary or myself.

Charlie Came Through!

This is Robby at 19, before he had the corrective cosmetic surgery, Seems Mister D mentioned below actually had a gig pimping a cereal for a while. Shortly sfterwards he was banished back to middle earth. It seems that prior to changing his name to Robby he was known as “Frito” and hung around with his friends Arrowroot, Gimlet and GoodGulf, and if you know what the fuck I’m talking about you know how funny that shit is.

And here is Robby with his twin brother, MiniD. Robby is doing his best to keep his younger sibling away from Rob Spallone and Harry Weiss.

It’s My Understanding that on this day, 38 years and nine months ago:

Mr D fornicated with Mrs D and begat a child named Robby. Little did Mr D know that the fruit of his loins would produce a talented pornographer. I am sure he was hoping for a baseball player or at least a doctor. But Mr D is proud because it could have been worse….he could have begat another lawyer…

Will someone please send me something embarrassing that I can post here to hono