Hello there,

My name is Stasia. I am a model on OMP number xxxx. I also have met with PJ from gatorbayfilms. He is what you said exactly, he talks a bunch of shit, but doesn’t have anything to bring to the table. He says that he owns this and that, but yet drives a stupid mustang with tennessee tags. There are two girls that work with him in alluring girls to work and do things for him. Their names are Nikki and something else I have their numbers etc.

He said all this that BMW and DOC Johnson were sponsoring the show, and that you get a free BMW Car, 150k wardrobe, 125k per year etc. But at audition, he didnt have any papers to sign or assure me of anything, so basically I told him to get fucked

I really enjoyed reading your site about that moron, toothless bastard

Thanks again,
Stasia

Thank You Stasia, I am hearing this over and over about PJ and Gator Bay. Maybe someone from Doc Johnson or BMW would like a word with him, if so I will put them in touch. Stasia I looked at your OMP ad, you are a stone fox baby, if you want work in adult just let me know and you will get plenty, with legit shooters.

Ladies, let Stasia’s example be a warning to you, anyone who asks for an “audition” or “compliance video” or even offers to pay you for an audition is only out for one thing. Believe it. Don’t just walk away from these assholes….RUN!

Mary Carey Gives Jay Leno The Finger!

Last Night during her appearance on the Jay Leno Show Jay refered to Mary as the only candidate whose hole has already been punched, Mary promptly flipped him the bird. A classic moment on The Tonight Show, right up there with the putter comment from Carson years ago.

A Humorous Moment From Beau:

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn’t yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man seated at the bar who had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West in his day.
The young cowboy took a seat next to the old-timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great ambition.
“Do you think you could give me some tips?” he asked.
The old-timer looked him up and down and said, for one thing, you’re wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a lil’ lower down on your leg.”
“Will that make me a better gunfighter?” asked the young man.
“Sure will,” said the old-timer.
The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.
“That’s terrific!” said the cowboy. “Got any more tips for me?”
“Yep.” said the old-timer. “Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That’ll give you a smooth draw.”
“Will that make me a better gunfighter?” asked the young man.
“You bet it will,” said the old-timer.
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player.
“Wow!” said the cowboy. “I’m learnin’ somethin’ here. Got any more tips?”
The old-timer pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. “See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.”
The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.
“No,” said the old-timer, “I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.”
“Will that make me a better gunfighter?” asked the young man.
“No.” said the old-timer, “but when Doc Holliday gets done plain’ the piano, he’s going to shove that gun up your ass and it won’t hurt as much.”

AVN Not Playing Fair, Whine Gene Ross, Don Hollywood:

I saw this story over at setgo.com and couldn’t help but laugh my ass off. I mean lets get real for a moment, these guys want to whine that AVN is “blackballing” them, as if they have some divine right to have their names mentioned in AVN. Sorry you fucking crybabies, the last time I checked AVN was a privately held entity that exists as an industry trade publication. You know what that means Don? Dig out your fucking law books, they don’t have to mention anyone they don’t want to.

You two Buddy up with Rob Black and try to fuck with AVN every chance you get but then Hollywood aka Ron Miller decides that AVN is somehow duty bound to mention him and his wife Brooke Hunter? Sorry pal when you lay down with dogs, don’t be surprised when you wake up with fleas.

I support AVN’s right to blackball anyone they want to, including myself. Thats why its called FREE ENTERPRISE.

The World Health Organisation and The Centers for Disease Control Bow Down to AIM.

“We’ve eradicated HIV and now its time to eradicate chlamydia and gonorrhea,”

That is a direct quote from Sharon Mitchell, Lets forget the fact that it is 100% WRONG. It is flat out irresponsible, and you people take her as being the gospel on STD related matters?

This statement came as part of an announcement that AIM will start releasing the names of people who infect others in porn valley with STDs. More coming on why that’s a dumb ass idea. As if you need me to explain it.

Obviously Chlamydia and Gonorrhea Are a Problem in Porn Vally:

This is the second major outbreak in as many weeks, Mitch says its around 6% of the performers…ya right, 50% is probably a lot closer but you see, Mitch plays with the numbers, exactly what performers is she counting? All the ones in World Modellings books? I’d bet some of those are dead. But I am getting off topic here. I’m not slamming Mitch or AIM except for making a completely STUPID statement like “We’ve eradicated HIV.”

What AIM has decided to do to combat Chlamydia and Gonnorrhea is to start telling people who they got it from. Now on the surface this may sound like a good idea, repeat offenders will become well known and get blacklisted, so to speak. Problem is Mitch has no way of knowing where it started, AIM tests every 30 days a person can catch the clap, get cured and get it again in between tests. So what her idea does is penalize the performers who work the most because they are the ones who are going to show up on he/she gave me the clap list the most. Not because they are patient zero but because they work the most. Even if Mitch COULD determine patient zero would you trust her? Remember it may be you she is pointing the finger at.

I may not have the solution but I damn sure know what it aint, it ain’t pointing a finger at the messenger so his peers can kill him….so to speak. So truth is this serves absolutely NO useful purpose.

I don’t just sit back and shoot from the hip though, I think there probably is a workable solution, but even the best ones have problems as I will explain.

Right now the attitude is “We can cure it with antibiotics” that’s all fine and dandy EXCEPT curing the clap twice in a month or even once every 3 months with antibiotics is asking for huge trouble. The reason being that as any doctor or qualified healthcare professional will tell you, over use of antibiotics leads to antibiotic resistant strains of the diseases, requiring more and more powerful antibiotics to cure the infection. This is a real danger here and it looms heavily on the horizon in Porn Valley.

Ideally the problem would be eliminated by the performers themselves by using condoms and safer sex practices outside the biz but you and I both know that aint gonna happen.

Plus how many new girls enter this biz every day? Think about that, theres a never ending line of them.

So what is AIM or even the performers best defense? Personally I think an HIV test every 30 days and a full STD screen every 2 weeks. Aim Charges what they charge now for it OR you can get it at any certified pathology lab or testing facility, there is NO reason for AIM to have a monopoly on testing in this industry. AIM should be a central clearing house though, tests should be readily available to subscribers and companies and individuals who make use of these facilities can help AIM subsidize them.

Now I hear y’all…every 2 weeks? Are you crazy? That would run people out of the business. yes it would and ya know what? We got too many irresponsible people in the business now…let em fucking walk. In my opinion it beats trying to “shame” out people whose only sin is that they work more than most others.

Finally, It’s time for Sharon Mitchell to resign and turn AIM over to a board of real health care professionals who are more concerned about the talent than their own egos.

“My God! That is a dumb statement even for Sharon Mitchell, I didn’t believe it at first but I went to the AVN website and there it was. She needs to be reigned in.”

What happens when an Ivy-league grad whose modest success in making films forces him to consider work in the porno trade to pay the bills? You’d expect him to make a tawdry exposé of a scurrilous industry. And you’d be wrong. To land his first money shot, writer and director Peter Mattei found a mentor in the legendary Clive McLean, a gracious gentleman pornographer. Watch as Mattei joins McLean at pitch meetings, photo calls and in hot tubs and discovers the nitty-gritty truth about porn: it’s a no-nonsense business filled with remarkably ordinary working people. Watch it Monday, November 17 at 10 PM on AMC

Just wanted to say our group of friends once again was best and craziest again this year.It was great seeing my dearest friends again such as Felicia, Tim {extra thanks to him for letting me be a suitcase pimp for a day} yourself of course, Beater, Lalyla Jade, Bill{thank god im not french} Aaron, Donna, Celena Roxx, KiKi, Adrian, Issac, Sean Michaels, Aria, Jesse Jane {Both of these girls giving me dances was AWSOME}.And then there was the making of new freinds Keli, Lisa Sparxx, Scotty, Jimmy, Dale, Pam, Alexis Fire, Wankus and the few strippers who got to know LATINO HEAT.It was the best birthday any one person can have. Just cant wait to see how we can top it next year. The whole sheep incident will be inbedded in my mind for a lifetime as well as Layla and Keli afterwards. Also wanted to thank Paul and Tracy for having at thier house once again for the pool party it was great.

Jaime”Latino Heat”Romero
Hustler Hollywood of Ohio

Jaime, dude, yer welcome anytime! We got the BEST and Funnest bunch there! Thanks to all of y’all…WE FUCKIN’ ROCK!

I’m Battling a Damn Cold:

Which makes me even grouchier than usual but more updates are coming in a bit.

Thanks Zupko, This ones for YOU Bro:

Tastes Great, More Filling!

Somehow in a conversation with Tom Zupko my name came up when he was talking to Papillon (above). For some reason Tom doesn’t seem to like me (or maybe he really does) but he convinced Papillon that if she gave me a BJ like she said she wanted to (cuz she likes me) that he would never speak to her again.

OK here’s the rub. The surest way to get a chick to do something is to convince her that you DO NOT want her to do it. Sure enough it worked, I don’t think it was Zupkos plan but Papillon couldn’t wait to give me a BJ, and who am I to complain. Thanks Tom …. You da man!

BTW Papillon and I bonded quite well, she is a cool chick and one sexy girl too…just damn. Papillon emailed me yesterday and I want to answer her right here. Hell yes I will call and stay in touch, you are a doll!

But you most likely knew him as the man who sang “Purple People Eater” Sheb Wooley died today at 82.

In The “Who Woulda Ever Thunk it” Dept:

FRESH SPARKS flew last month when a study of more than 16,000 people from every inhabited continent found that men everywhere — whether single, married or gay — want more sexual partners than women do.

Reckon how much they spent to figure that out….I coulda told em exactly what they learned for a 125.00 per hour consultation fee. But I guess that having come from some scientist whose last effort was spending 10 million dollars to prove that fish can’t breathe air I guess this information is somehow enobled.

It’s quite simple really, you see it goes all the way back to the begining of our existence here, women are more selective of partners because for them procreation required a lot of commitment, men on the other hand needed as many partners as possible to spread his genes and insure the survival of his lineage and bottom line is that it didn’t require a nine month commitment and a risk to his life just to procreate. It’s just nature at work people, deal with it.

And From My Long Time Friend:

Mike:
I also want to congratulate you on your Website but more than that on you standing TALL for all of us in the Adult Industry. You have always been a Great help to me. See you at the Adult Expo in Vegas.
George Martin
GM Video

George Martin and I go way back as friends The Tampa Show just wasn’t the same without him.

And From Porn’s Own Mr Rogers:

Mr South
Tuesday
September 15th
10:21 AM

CONGRATULATIONS on YOUR RECENT AWARD for ‘BEST ADULT INTERNET SITE”.

Honored to know YOU!

Robert Lombard

Back atcha Mr. Lombard, you are probably the nicest guy in porn we need more like you, LOTS more. And you hve the best shirts of any porn company, bar none. I wear it all the time.

From Dick at BNI:

Dear Mike,
I see you won an award in Tampa - but how can I, or any other serious person, take such an award seriously, when Nick Manning also won an award? Anyone would would give Nick best performer would give John Ashcroft the Freedom Isn’t Free Award!
By the way, I’ll be reviewing your latest DVD for Adam Film World!
Yours,
Dick

Just damn Dick, you gotta go raining on my parade…..sadly I secretly thought the same thing, but maybe it’s just us, maybe Nick is really the best actor of our time…..NOT!

Curious Sends the all time definative photo of Johnny Cash:

“American Recordings and Johnny Cash would like to acknowledge the Nashville music establishment and country radio for your support.”

I rmember this moment he was flipping off and giving a big FUCK YOU to the Country Music Association…Hell YA! I love a guy that don’t take shit from anyone.

Thank You all for your support and thanks to everyone who reads me!

What A Long Strange Trip It’s Been:

Hunter S Thompson would have loved it, we a fight between miss congeniality and miss personality, porn stars pissing on a plastic sheep, Nakita Kash in pitiful desperation, a mohawk wearing brit ready to decapitate a frenchman with a strippers prop (but very real) sword, assorted paramedics and policemen, a fire alarm that went off when there was no fire and a fire that went off without setting off the fire alarms, I get a blowjob from Papillon thanks to Tom Zupko, I meet a China Doll and the jaws of life are called in to remove one porn chicks head from the ass of a company owner…..read all about it here over the next few days, a single simple update doesn’t do this Justice!

BTW The Fire Alarm:

That was disconnected, causing the evacuation of the hotel…was in room 529…Inari Vachs room.

Tod Mourns:

Mike Stokey died.

To people of a certain age, especially if we grew up in L.A., he was a TV pioneer. Game show host and producer, who devised “Pantomime Quiz”/”Stump the Stars” and kept it on TV for over 20 years, with biggish Hollywood stars in evening dress playing charades. He was an early president of the TV Academy and won one of the first Emmy awards, on which they misspelled the name of his show.

And to those of us — again of a certain age — he is the father of Blake Palmer.

Also, Jack Smight, who directed “Harper,” died. He also directed “The Illustrated Man” and a lot of TV.

Y’know, now that I don’t have a column I have to tell people about these one at a time…

Hope all is well in Florida.

Bob Does Have a point:

Hey, Mike:

First Warren Zevon and now Johnny Cash, not to mention George Harrison last year. My heros are dying one by one.

I’ve been listening all day to The Wind, Warren Zevon’s last CD, and the four “American Song” CDs that Johnny Cash did over the last few years with Rick Rubin. They are achingly simple and beautiful.

And hey, give Justin T his due: his music doesn’t do much for me, but he showed class when he honored Johnny Cash and his own grandfather while picking up his MTV award. The boy minds his manners and respects his elders.

Word is that Samantha Sterling pulled a no show here because she was afraid that Kiki Diare and Felicia Fox would kick her ass. Wankus told her that Felicia would never do that, Felicia then told Wankus that he obviously didn’t know her very well.

Remeber two years ago when Nakita Kash totally dogged on the Nightmoves People, the other attendees and the Tampa show in general? Of course she has never been invited back BUT that hasn’t stopped her from trying to glom on to the porn people at the show this year. She is hanging out at all the Nightmoves signings and all of the events and even hanging out here at the hotel. Nakita, you want to dog the Nightmoves folks and the people who attend thats fine by me but at least don’t be a fucking hypocrite and make some last ditched lame ass effort to save what is left of your “career” that never was…I mean damn girlfriend have some fucking dignity, how pathetic…