Kirsten Price…That’s Mrs Barret Blade to you.

It’s common knowledge that Wicked has been looking so I am watching to see who Brad Armstrong is dating…

This one came WAY outta left field…congrats to Kirsten

And no, she isn’t dating Brad…that’s why it’s so unusual….

FROM: KEYSER SOZE

THE TOP TEN PLAGUES OF PORN

10-Hellfire-A fire shall erupt in Chatsworth separating porn sluts from their booty calls

9-Insomnia-A shortage of Xanax shall occur

8-Stoppage of Time-Time will stop allowing all porn girls to make their call times for a full 24 hours

7-Ignorance-The recipe for cooking crystal meth will be lost

6-Obesity-A shortage of speed will cause many porn stars gain weight

5-Locusts-More agents, webmasters, and suitcase pimps will descend upon the porn industry

4-False Prophets- A muckraker using the name Luke will claim to save porn souls

3- Mary Carey-Self explanatory

2-Silicone Hardening- Digital Playground will suffer most, having to replace all their contract girls

1-Hell Freezing-Mike South will win AVN’s Ruben Sturman award, causing Paul Fishbein to stop the AVN Awards show until he can think of something nice to say about Mike South

That Wasn’t That Scary:

That’s what Tiffany said after watching Wicked’s new movie “Camp Cuddly Pines, Power Tool Masacre”

She actually saw the screener I had gotten from Wicked and said “Can we watch this”…I’m like OK…You know it’s porn right? She looks at it again….”Well it didnt look like porn from the box but I still want to watch it.” Note she never looked at the back of the box.

So I put it in and we got down to it…watching, not ….well you know.

Her first comment was, didn’t we see that guy in that pirate movie? Yes I said, Tommy Gunn. She is quiet for a minute and says “well why is he wearing a condom in this one, does that girl have something?”

No I replied Wicked is an all condom company. “Why?” she asked. I told her because they felt it is more responsible to present safe sex in their movies. Again she is quite for a minute then she says “Doing porn is responsible?” I left it alone.

“Who is the blonde chick, she is pretty funny, is she that ditzy really?” No I said that is Stormy Daniels and she is actually very smart and very not ditzy.

“Oh, isn’t she a friend of yours? She is very pretty, have you worked with her?” Now THIS is a question I know to avoid even if I haven’t worked with Stormy and for the record I have not., so I just said watch the movie OK and Stormy is a friend that’s all.

That seemed to placate her, much to my delight.

“Hey they are making fun of scary movies in this”.

Yes I replied, I think that’s the point.

“This is pretty funny, your friend Stormy is hilarious.”

I will tell her you think so.

“Who is the gross looking guy?”

I think that’s Mike Horner, he doesn’t look like that in real life.

“Well he still looks better than that Ron Jeremy guy” she points out.

Hey Ronnie is an icon, don’t bag on Ronnie.

“He’s gross”

Well he turns down more girls than I will ever get and Ronnie doesn’t turn down much

“that’s probably because they are all strippers” she says.

I find this humorous coming from a Hooters girl but I hold my tongue…watch the movie.

“You should work with Stormy, she is really pretty”

I note that I will pass that along to Stormy.

“Why is she wearing stripper heels in the middle of the woods”

I point out that they were going to a concert…

She says “no not them, the chick on the police car.”

I said oh thats Devon Michaels, she was probably walking home from a feature gig in Louisianna

“Oh isn’t she another FRIEND of yours?” (note the emphasis on the word friend…as in sarcastic)

yes. I sigh….

“Have you worked with her?”

I tell her Devon and I have been friends for ages and don’t ask questions, just watch the movie.

“You have, I can tell”

“Who is the sheriff guy he can act too, wasn’t he in that Darkside movie”

Yes thats Randy Spears.

“Is there a shortage of guys in porn they are all in every movie?”

No but theres a shortage of guys who can remember two lines of dialogue.

“That’s from The Ring, that movie scared the fuck out of me for a whole week, I kept thinking I was going to die in a week because I watched it”

I tell her if she doesn’t shut up she isn’t going to live through Camp Cuddly Pines

“Hey you are the one better sleep with one eye open, I know you did that Devon chick”

At this point I have the good sense to shut up…that comes with age guys…

“That chick has a really fucked up boob job”

That’s Jessica Drake, why do you say that she hasn’t taken her top off.

“That’s why I am saying that she didn’t take it off the first time either, all the other chicks did, I gaurantee you her boob job is fucked up”

Chicks notice the damndest things I think.

When the movie was over Tiffany say’s “That wasn’t That Scary”

We both fell out laughing.

And that sums up “Camp Cuddly Pines” it is pretty funny in that campy make fun of horror movies kind of way and Stormy is very believable and does her character very well, way better than I would have expected. She certainly deserves some consideration for Best Supporting Actress. As Tiffany pointed out Randy Spears is believable as well.

The writing and the videography are both solid and the effects are good, as bad as I hate to give Jonathon Morgan props for anything this is well done.

But it isn’t that scary.

I can’t say I disagree with what you wrote the other day save for some of the oil stuff. Bad news sells, and Colin Campbell and the rest of the petro-pessimists get press when the reality is Hubbert’s peak is realistically coming no earlier than 2030 according to the iea and usgs. Every decade since the 1920’s they predict oil’s peaked, and every decade they’ve been wrong, failing to account for all sorts of stuff in the way of efficiency amd technology-2 decades ago they could get 20% recovery if they were lucky, it’s over 35% today. Adleman over at MIT just said we’ve got “for all intents and purposes an infinite supply” for the next 20 to 50 years. He doesn’t need you to send him a check like Greenpeace does to survive or frighten you into sticking around for the next set of commercials like the nightly news does.
As for the flood-you’re right. Lately we’ve been intent on trying to derail the concept of natural selection as much as possible. Too many stupid people are reproducing too quickly and they’re unable to hack what you need to do to survive in a world becoming more and more demanding of your ability to think. We’re rewarding this by bailing them out for shit like deciding to stay against orders, paying for their healthcare and in return they continue to prove unfit parents and the cycle continues. I’m not suggesting eugenics is the answer, but there’s no question about the heritability of stuff like certain diseases and the general intelligence factor and it’s madness that we’re asking a certain couple of tax-brackets to support not only themselves, but a bunch of people who are clearly the weakest in our herd. And the returns on our investment are almost nonexistant, unless you’re counting buying gucci handbags as contributing something to the greater good. If people are that determined against swimming, let them sink, this kind of stuff goes against the whole notion of how things naturally develop and progress.
Great site, great rant-James

Great Email james, out of all the people who responded Yours was the one that struck me as the most articulate and well thought out.

James Isn’t Alone:

I was called last night by a program director for a rock and roll station in Wisconsin who liked my rant so much they want a forty five to sixty second weekly commentary…more as this develops.

Hillary Clinton that is…..

Apparently not…Harry Weiss called me this morning with that observation, problem is it could just as easily backfire, in spite of the participation of Donald Southerland.

I made a quick call to Mark Kulkis over at Kick Ass Pictures for his political analysis.

Kulkis didn’t say “Not at all it is actually my doing, we wanted someone who looked like an aging porn star to play the President and who better than Ms Davis with her High Speed DSL (Dick Sucking Lips). My goal is to prepare the public for President Mary Carey”

Now if I remember my civics correctly Mary might still have a few years before she would be eligible, see a President must be at least 35 years old and while Ms carey certainly has the…ummm…political WEIGHT she does lack the chronological maturity to hold said office.

Sometimes Y’all Surprise Me:

I fully expected a lot of email about yesterdays rant and I got it…LOTS of it.

I also fully expected to be widely criticized and beat up for it…I mean I kinda slaughtered some sacred cows…

Every single email, bar none was positive and supportive…Wow….guess I hit on one of those simple truths in life

Thanks Y’all I guess I ain’t as crazy as I thought.

As I survey the current landscape of politics in this country I can’t help notice how both parties are being lead around by the nose by the extreme elements of the parties.

Look at Bush, he is mortally wounded his approval ratings are at an all time low, even Richard Nixon was more highly regarded. Bush is failing in Iraq, failing on the home front in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, failing in keeping the deficit under control, he has out spent Clinton by over twice as much and the best he can come up with is a lame assed campaign against pornographers? I mean face it why is he sucking the ass of the religious right? It isn’t like they are going to start voting Democratic….He has a lock on those votes.

Now look at the Democrats, they are being lead around by morons like Al Franken and Michael Moore and the rest of the class warfare idiots, at a time when they could stranglehold Bush in the 06 elections they are sucking the ass of the socialists and communists, it ain’t like these votes are going to go to Republicans, no matter what the party does.

It’s people in the center that both parties need, and as one of those people I can’t help but say WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

I want to hear what you will do to cut our dependence on foreign oil, if that means drilling in ANWAR then get the fuck on with it, in the grand scheme of the Alaskan Wilderness ANWAR is the size of a postage stamp on your living room carpet.

If it means nuclear power then fucking do it, we have the technology to make it safe and efficient…fucking do it.

We need to build some more refineries? (we haven’t built one in 30 years) lets roll out the fucking bulldozers.

Haven’t we been fucking around in Iraq long enough? They aren’t a terrorist threat anymore….lets get together a plan to get the fuck out, speaking of terrorists threats what the hell happened to public enemy number one Osama Bin Laden? Why aint we after his ass anymore?

As for the stupid fucks that didn’t leave New Orleans and got killed I’m sorry but that’s just mother nature doing what mother nature does best, killing off the weak and the stupid, you knew for days this hurricane was coming and it was gonna be bad, stop being dependent on you government and take some fucking responsibility for your lives. why is Bush sticking his hands in my pockets to give people 2000 dollar debit cards to buy Gucci handbags? I’m over that shit, let private charities handle that shit I’m tired of everyone who wont get an education and work sticking his/her hand out for MY fucking money. That goes double for idiots living in other countries where the primary export is dust. why the hell are we saving these people so that they can continue to live where there’s no food, water or civilization, fuck em, let em die.

Speaking of, are we retarded? have we learned nothing? we are gonna spend hundreds of billions of dollars to put New Orleans back where it was, so that the next storm that comes along can further burden the taxpayer with another rebuilding project? fuck that, get the bulldozers in there too and turn it into the swamp that mother nature intended it to be.

What we need in this country is some leaders with some good old fashioned common sense

I’m tired of the bullshit.

OK I feel better now.

Don Adams, best known as Maxwell Smart, dead at 82.

Mike,
I spent some time with Julie before one of her feature nights here in town. She was a great person to be around and it’s a shame to see someone that’s so full of life have to give it up.
I was only with her for a little while but it was enough to realize what a beautiful, charming, funny, sweet and trusting person she was.
My thoughts and prayers are with her family and friends.
Jesse

–
Jesse Capps
RockConfidential.com

Julie Robbins was killed in a car wreck this past Thursday night when she wrecked and her car caught on fire. Julie turned 26 on the 17th of this month. She was single and She had a 7 year old daughter.

I got an IM late last night from a chick calling herself “cutifulicious”, naturally before responding I looked at her profile, she was 44 and well dumpy and plain but nice guy that I am I went ahead and answered.

after a few lines of idle chit chat about where I live and how old she wanted a photo

I knew then was the time to drop the bomb, so I redirected her to my site

30 seconds later she proceeds:

Cutifulicious: You are a sick Man
Cutifulicious: You need help
Cutifulicious: I will pray for you
xxxsouth: Please don’t pray for me, I don’t want God to think that I would associate with a moron like you.

she left…LOL

Green Lantern Writes:

In their piece on thetrolls.net/Atomic Punk’s outing of porn stars’ real names, AVN reports the site has been up since March 2005. It’s been up longer than that in different incarnations. See, national sports radio personality & ESPN host Jim Rome used to have a message board on his website called SmackChat. His listeners (called Clones, the eviler degenerates are called Trolls) used to post there about sports, pop culture, music, work & all sorts of nonsense & insult each other verbally by trash talking or in the Jim Rome vernacular “running smack”. During a relaunch of his website sometime in 2000, SmackChat version 3 was taken down for good (didn’t help that the Trolls were coordinating attacks on other message boards & causing all sorts of mischief). The fans who were mercilessly addicted to “running smack” spun off a few message boards including thetrolls.com. I regstered there around 2000 or 2001 (after another spin-off board, The New World, shut down) because I remember that a 9/11 thread I posted in the MLB fourm offering my support & condolences to NYC & all Yankees fans in the aftermath of the terrorist attacks (from a diehard BoSox fan) was archived. I even have an email saved from when I registered my handle, BoSoxFan, there. I got tired of posting there after getting verbally insulted for admitting to being a friend to & PR rep for LeeAnna Heart & bragging about having her phone # (hey, you would brag too if you looked like Louis from Revenge of the Nerds like I do & had a hot chick like LeeAnna, Devon, Jesse Jane or Jenna Jameson’s # saved on your Palm Pilot–it’s human nature!). There were a lot of cracks directed about everyone in porn being infected with HIV &/or STD’s (same anti-porn opinion that a right-winger like Bill O’Reilly has). I last posted there in the fall of 2004 after the Red Sox won the World Series so I could trash talk & gloat to all the Yankees fans. I assume that the webmasters/moderators there changed the URL from a .com to a .net when they renewed it in 2005 or decided to change the extension while dumping years of accumulated postings, pictures, links & files from their servers in order to speed up the time it took for users’ posts to update.
Funny thing is that one of the cardinal rules over there was that you couldn’t post anyone’s personal info (name, address, phone #) especially if you didn’t have permission/consent from that user. If memory serves, Atomic Punk is or has been in the past, a moderator whose job it is/was to enforce that rule.

So THAT’S the real history of thetrolls.com/.net from an actual user (my handle was BoSoxFan, naturally)!!

BTW, there used to be a lot of password sharing for porn sites going on there years ago.

BTW, that Jack Sparrow look Jesse has in the Pirates poster is HOT!!
News on The Talent List of Names Is Forthcoming, But Only When Prudent to do So, Keep Watching:

Mercedez Cries Foul “It Was Pure Talent Not Me”

“I am not sure exactly why you feel you need to slander me on your site I don’t know you and I have never met you. I didn’t write up the advertisment for the Pure Talent “book” but so you know I am a Vivid girl, in fact Mike I am shooting with PT this week. As they say once a Vivid girl always a Vivid Girl. On the subject of me being a well know Fitness model, I posed for “Muscular Development” 4 times in 2003 with a 20 page spread and a cover in March 2003. The issue had a very long interview with me in the back along with the D-cup award from them. So yes I am a well known Fitness model. No, I was never “Starlet of the year” but I don’t claim to be either. The mistakes you talked about were mistakes on Pure Talent’s part not mine like you insinuated. I don’t need to fabricate any of my awards or accomplishments. I am one of the most awarded Feature Entertainers on the Circuit today. My ad wasn’t the only one to get messed up but I like how mine is the only one to be pointed out by you. Mike I don’t know why you feel like you have to talk bad about me. I am not sure what the problem is but if you need to contact me to get the facts please feel free to do so I would hate for you to be misinformed it makes us both look bad.”
Nina Mercedez

OK First you haven’t been “slandered” but I will forgive ya that at the moment. The Vivid Girl thing is only partially true maybe once a Vivid Girl always a Vivid girl BUT you have in fact been dropped off of Vivid’s current contract roster but I will give you that when you sent the info for the ad you probably had not yet been released from your contract.

As to the rest of it that’s for the world to decide, you say Pure Talent fucked it up…I say if that is so…don’t pay them for the ad.

But I still maintain that to claim an AVN Award you never won in a non existant category even…is wrong no matter who did it and if it doesn’t happen again because of this post then I don’t really care who fucked up this time because the objective was met.

AVN may not call Pure Talent or anyone else on it and that is their right, it is their award BUT I will call someone out for it so…Ann Marie Or Mercedez…whichever of you IS responsible….don’t do it again.

James Avalon Scores A Near Miss:

Watched “Darkside” tonight with a chick friend. The movie from Red Light District started out great, both Herschel Savage and and Randy Spears started off with highly interesting characters, Bill Margold was appropriately cast as a kind of twisted, oddball shrink who discovers a way to implant memories and even provides a very brief but accurate description of “string theory”

The sex is what you would expect from Red Light District and that is the films biggest weakness. Had Mr Avalon put as much effort into developing the two aforementioned characters and the underlying story as was pout into making sure every scene had a ridiculous ass to mouth scene he would have had a contender for best film, a serious one.

On that note the movie was shot on film, unlike most of the features that claim to be, they even honestly say it was shot in super16 something I don’t think any porn company has ever admitted to, most want you to believe they shot on 35MM even though to my knowledge, nobody ever did.

That said, it takes a talented director to properly shoot a movie on film, super 16MM film is way too expensive to leave rolls of it on the cutting room floor and exposing it properly, specially in some of the situations of backlighting and such requires a solid DP (Thats director of photography) On this front Avalon shines, every frame is perfectly exposed and perfectly shot, the look and feel of the movie match throughout.

Next time spend just a little more money and get a good script doctor and forget the retarded looking shots of going out of your way to get an ass to mouth shot in every scene and you will have a winner.

Just a Note to Say Thanks for ALL of your letters of support and yes even the people who emailed me and didnt support me….I will tell all as soon as I can but your encouragement and criticism is appreciated.

I see they finally got around to running the story I have had for 3 days…..The one I tried to give them on day one…

It’s good though..better late than never and we have done a good thing here as you will all see soon.

Here Comes The Shit:

According to channel 4 in Los Angeles Cal OSHA has released a long awaited report on the porn industry and it doesn’t bode well for porners.

Net result is that Cal-OSHA plans to start visiting porn sets, complete with eye protection, dental dams and condoms…way to go “Doctor” Mitch your ineptitude finally came to fruition.

If this happens, porn as we know it is about to change.

As You May Have Noticed:

The post at Thetrolls.net has come down that doesn’t matter. Things are in motion…More as it happens.

Writing About Ralph Steadman Got Me Thinking:

I had a conversation with some friends a couple of weeks ago and the suicide of Hunter S Thompson came up…by me. Of the four of us in the room I was the only one in my mid 40s OK mid to late… The rest were barely 30 if that. None of them knew who Hunter S Thompson was.

I said come on you guys read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas…THAT Hunter S Thompson.

One girl, a bright girl for whom I have a lot of respect said oh ya…I tried to read that it was too stupid, all about drugs and stuff, it made no sense. The other said oh ya I saw the movie, it really sucked it didn’t make sense either.

I agree the movie was horrid.

But I couldn’t understand how these highly educated and articulate people couldn’t understand Fear and Loathing, and really had no clue who Hunter was or what he was about.

Then it hit me….They weren’t there.

What they knew of the 60s and 70s had been learned from history books in public schools, They hadn’t lived it like my generation had. They had no idea about Kent State or the marching band that refused to yield. “Alice’s Restaraunt” is just a long folk song to them, something their parents played when reminiscing. A draft comes from an open window. How many black people know the significance of the name Jefferson State? How many people at all know the significance? A peace sign to them was something their generation cooked up.

We very damn near had a second civil war in this country and in many senses of the word, we did have one, people paid with their lives for what they believed in and there were casualities who were innocent…Look up the name Allison Kraus…she would have turned 54 this year….no not the singer, the one who was killed by National Guard Riflemen at Kent State University in Ohio. Who really set that ROTC building on fire? Who really knows what the hell I am talking about?

To my friends, “Four dead in Ohio” is just a lyric from an old song, something about tin solidiers and Nixon or something. They think “American Woman” is a song about chicks in the USA, of course, so does Lenny Kravitz…

I haven’t read a primary or secondary school American History book lately but I bet that the 60s are little more than a few footnotes about civil rights, the death of the Kennedys and maybe women entering the workplace. And some carefully worded stuff about a place called Viet Nam and a police action or a “conflict” there.

So how could they understand something as socially complex and metaphorical as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? Much less the man who wrote it.

My grandmother had a saying: “He outlived his usefulness” I’m guessing that’s how Hunter felt in his final days. Too bad he will, in the long run, likely be more remembered for his eccentric antics, suicide and being shot out of a cannon at the end than for his unique ability to capture the the soul of an entire generation and put it into words.

If you would like to learn about what really happened at Kent State and Jackson State, from the people who were there go here

http://www.may4archive.org/index.shtml

You wont read about it in history books I bet and it’s a rare glimpse back in time that most of you weren’t around for.

The photo above was taken by John Filo:

On May 4th, 1970, John Filo was a young undergraduate working in the Kent State photo lab. He decided to take a break, and went outside to see students milling in the parking lot. Over the weekend, following the burning of the ROTC building, thousands of students had moved back and forth from the commons area near to the hill in front of Taylor Hall, demonstrating and calling to an end to the war inj Vietnam. John decided to get his camera, and see if he could get an interesting picture. He saw one student waving a black flag on the hillside, with the National Guard in the background. He shot the photograph, and feeling that he now had recorded the moment, wandered to the parking lot, where a lot of the students had gathered. Suddenly, G company of the Ohio National Guard opened fire. John thought they were shooting blanks, and started to take pictures.

A second later, he saw Mary Vecchio crying over the body of one the students who had just been killed. He took the picture.

A few hours later, he started to transmit the pictures he had taken to the Associated Press from a small newspaper in Pennsylvania.

The photograph won him a Pulitzer prize.

“All Animals Are Equal But Some Animals Are More Equal Than Others.”

Be Careful What You Wish For…This Time I Got It and It’s Good:

In 1995 there was a special edition 50th anniversary hardcover release of George Orwell’s Animal Farm, the second I saw it I bought two of them. What made the book special was the illustrations. All the pages were high gloss paper and it was Illustrated by Ralph Steadman. When I saw it hit me that this was a defining moment, I have never read a book more suited to Steadman’s illustration, with the possible exception of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. That this piece of classic literature was illustrated by Ralph Steadman blew me away.

Ever since I got them I have tried to get one signed by Steadman, I emailed him, snail mailed him, offered him money, but I never got a response. I never saw one for sale and its one of the few books he has illustrated that is not available signed on his site.

The book is long out of print…it can still be found but I had given up on the autograph.

A few years ago I told my buddy Aaron, a fellow Steadman fan how hard I had tried to get it autographed.

Two days ago Aaron IMs me and tells me theres a first edition, mint condition copy..flat signed by Steadman on Ebay for a bargain price (under 200.00)

Needless to say I bought it then and there….clicked the buy now and bought the only one he had

I’m psyched, thats exactly where and how I wanted it signed. 10 Years I waited…..Thanks Aaron I love ya man!

Rest In Peace Peter

Long Time RAME Moderator and Friend Peter Van Aarle Passed Away:

Peter was a really nice guy, soft spoken, smart and highly likeable…he will be missed. Rest In Peace My Friend.

From RAME

It is with great sadness that I post this.

Peter van Aarle, curator of the Internet Adult Film Database (IAFD) and
co-founder of rec.arts.movies erotica (RAME), passed away on Sunday,
September 18, 2005, after suffering a heart attack at his home in The
Hague, Holland. He was 42. Details of a memorial service are not yet
known. Details will be posted at http://www.iafd.com as they become
known.

Peter started the IAFD “back in 1981/82 when I started watching porn
movies (back then my hometown still had a cinema which showed porn
movies, and only porn movies by the way, and that’s where I went).”

The site came on-line in its present incarnation and its present address
in 1999, and he explained his goal for the site in an e-mail: “I
basically want the IAFD to be the definitive porn movie database on the
web. I’ve spent the past 18 years compiling this data, and I want all of
the credit :-)”

The credit is all his.
Hang Tight:

I know lots of you are looking here for an update on the atomic punk situation, things have taken a huge change and I will have the story soon, but until we do what needs to be done I have to stay moot on this. Know that it IS being worked very thouroughly and that as soon as it is prudent to do so I will update on what has happened….you won’t believe it….