You all had a fabulous Thanksgiving!

Digital Playground Scores:

When I think they do something wrong, I let em know ditto when they do something right.

They got a nice write up in the current issue of “Newsweek” about “Pirates” Theres an interview with the producer/director and HWMIC Jewn and even though the article keeps the porn aspect at arms length it IS industry positive and Newsweek is certainly mainstream PR that has value to the industry as a whole.

This time, they should be proud.

Hustler Tries Again:

They are releasing the beaver hunt thing on video for at least the third time but they are pimpin it like it’s some novel new idea. The first two or three times it failed and it appears destined for failure again because they aren’t being true to the concept.

They are hyping that its amateurs with porn guys, well we all know what that means…it means the “amateurs” are from porn valley and will be seen all over the place. Hardly amateur huh?

Thats exactly the same problem Hustler had with the first two iterations.

If y’all want REAL amateur girls (and guys) from someone who knows how to shoot the genre hit me up.

I got a LOT of email from industry insiders on this one and I do mean a lot, not a single one was positive, this one from Wolrack pretty well summed them all up

Rob Black. Are you fucking kidding me. They bring him up (video awards), drag him down (black ball him when he writes bad AVN stuff and put him on a platform for rape Depictions. Unreal

I’m not going to go on one of my tyrannical rants here, the award is AVNs to give to whomever they choose, personally I’d have liked them to have chosen someone else and judging by your email so would you.

I think the award and the industry would be better served if it were presented to people who are industry positive as oppossed to people who try to harm the industry. If Rob had only endangered himself and if he were fighting with someones money other than daddys maybe I could give him the benefit of the doubt, but as JimmyD said:

Hey! How about a ‘Frosting the Turd’ award? We’ll call it a ‘Frostie.’

“And this year’s Frostie goes to…”

And where else but the jizz biz would they give a prestigious award for getting arrested and indicted? Cuz we all know that Rob Black & Lizzy Borden are nothing less than virtuous, 1rst Amendment, freedom fighters to be admired and exalted and, well, and given awards! I think I’m going to set my sights on the Sturman Award. Hmmmm… first off, i’ll do something really, really stupid and use the media to publicly ask to be arrested. And I’ll mount a no-holds-barred attack on AVN, the entity who bestows the award, including unwarranted and below-the-belt personal attacks on AVN’s CEO, and then I’ll sit back and wait for my award.

And in the final analysis I think The HWMIC over there at AVN was so determined in his effort to be fair that he plain overlooked the obvious (to me at least) fact that Rob isn’t really deserving. Period.

The Elements of No Style:

While I am hardly one to bag on someones writing style, the guys over at AVN should certainly know better. I mean I know they are falling all over themselves to kiss Sharon Mitchell’s ass over that fake diploma she has but even if she had a real one calling her “Dr Sharon Mitchell, Phd” is WRONG! Even this hillbilly knows that.

The University of Texas at Austin website has a “Writer’s Style Guide” that shows the “rights” and “wrongs” of the use of “Dr.” for someone that has their doctorate.

“Do not precede a name with a title of an academic degree and follow it with the abbreviation for that degree.

Right: Larry R. Faulkner, Ph.D. …
Right: Dr. Larry R. Faulkner …
Wrong: Dr. Larry R. Faulkner, Ph.D …”

MY Bad :

Pirates got 24 Noms, watch for them to clean up at the AVN Awards.

Pirates got 22 noms, Catherine got 15 and DMJ got 16

My Buddy Rodney Moore got inducted into the Hall of Fame …congrats to all the nominees.

There is one particular award I have a huge beef with but Im gonna save it…The Sturman Award

Giving that to a guy who has done his best to take down the industry with him is a slap in the face to Mr Sturman.

The Awards Everyone Loves To Hate and Hates To Love:

AVN will announce the nominees for the 2006 AVN Awards sometime today. Look for Pirates and Catherine to score big, also The New Devil In Miss Jones. High /Low on Pirates is 16 noms

For once Best New Starlet isn’t that hotly contested Sunny Leone maybe although she has only one release I think, Jenaveve Jolie if she wasn’t nominated last year, Sunny Lane is a real good bet as is Austyn Moore but it could go to anyone….

A Store Owner Writes:

Long time no talk to. This is in reference to the question about top 5 pornstars. As a video store owner I can actually list from statitics, from my store, Video Hub, in Bowdon, Ga. This information is based on rental statistics, compiled from the last year.

1. Dasha, by almost a 3-1 margin over the next closest

2. Jenna, has a slight lead over

3. Brianna Banks, who is followed closely by

4. Stormy Daniels,

5. is actually a 3 way tie (well actually 4 way) Angel and Ashley Long, Gauge, and Paris Hilton. I count the Long sister as a single since they came outta the same womb.

Mary Cary could have made this list, but I have more problems getting her videos, she leads in the catagory of the most requested that I can’t fill. I hope all is going well for you, and that the holidays treat you well. If I can be of any assistance, for anything gimme a call Have a great day….Tom Hubbard owner, The Video Hub, Bowdon Georgia

Thanks Tom, responses and commentary from store owners ALWAYS get priority here cuz you guys are the front line!

I Was Gonna Do A Top Ten Karaoke Song List From Last Nights PSK:

But theres only two “Turkey Songs” Adam Sandler’s Thanksgiving song and Turkey In The Straw

Harry Weiss Is A Sick Man, He Sends This:

A festive main course for the holidays from Bubba South

1.Start with some fresh road-kill. (if its already turned into road jerky, save it for sumpin’ else)

2. Wash, or let the dog lick away most of the fur and dried blood.

3. Marinate road-kill for 1 hour in moonshine and spices. ( if ya ain’t got no watch or cain’t tell time, 1 hour is about how long it takes to catch and fuck yer cousin)

4. Very important, pre-heat skillet or road-kill will stick!

5. Slather butter on skillet (no such thang as too much butter) and place marinated road-kill on skillet, wait 5 minutes and flip. After another 5 minutes, remove and put on plate. ( if ya ain’t got no watch or cain’t tell time, 5 minutes is about how long it takes to have sex wif dat lazy dawg on da porch)

6. Make more.

Hookers and Whatnot:

I was checking out lukeisback today and I came across his blurb on Bellamodels.com, suppsedly being Nici of Nicisgirls.com. I went on over and had a look and what to my bloodshot eyes should appear? My former next door neighbor Alexa Lauren right there in the top spot. I took pics of her several years back that we sent to Penthouse and it got her a centerfold…30th Anniversary Pet of the Month Centerfold to be exact. She swore she would never do porn but I guess turning tricks ain’t the same…RIGHT…

Anyways a few other notables on there

Natalia Cruz aka Sophie Santi, Digital Playground’s newest contract girl…I guess they all follow Devon’s lead ( Devon is no longer with DP and hasn’t been on the payroll there for a couple of years)

Vivid Girl Lanny Barbie and former Vivid Girls Kobe Tai, and Kelly Jaye are also up there.

We either get a ruling on 2257 or it gets postponed again.

Jessica Jaymes Makes The New York Post, Asking 1M for Nick Lachey Sex Story:
(From Todays New York Post)

November 21, 2005 — THE already shaky marriage between Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey is about to hit another big speedbump.

Jessica Jaymes, a porn star who performed raunchy sex acts with another woman in front of Lachey and pals at a bachelor party last year, is trying to sell a story to the tabs about what she claims really happened that night — and it isn’t pretty.

Last year, Star magazine reported in a story where no one was on the record that Lachey and his crew met up with Jaymes and two female friends [”an Asian and a blonde”] at an L.A. club. The crew later went back to a Hollywood Hills home where the women gave a sexual performance, which included “whipped cream and sex toys.” Also with the group was a male friend of Jaymes.

At one point, Lachey got on the bed with the girls and seemed “in a trance.” Eventually, Jaymes’ male pal became “so concerned” about something that Star doesn’t specify, he “intervened,” pulling Jaymes away from the bed — to Lachey’s “dismay.”

Now, we hear, Jaymes and her business manager Gordon Yugovich are asking $1 million plus syndication rights to the “entire story” with steamy details that are sure to make Simpson’s hair stand on end. This time, not only will Jaymes be on the record, but her two girlfriends as well as the man who pulled her from the bed are supposedly going to talk — all confirming Jaymes’ story.

Both Jaymes and Yugovich refused to “confirm or deny” details to PAGE SIX, although both noted something was being shopped around.

I’m not sure how this story even ranks one hundred bucks, much less one million…but who knows.

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men: Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES:

You make the bed. (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow. (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants. (+5)

In the rain. (+10)

But return with beer. (-15)

You check out a suspicious noise at night. (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing. (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something. (+5)

You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10)

It’s her pet. (-25)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS:

You stay by her side for the entire party. (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy. (-2)

Named Tina. (-4)

Tina is a dancer. (-10)

Tina has breast implants. (-80)

Really big breast implants. (-200)
HER BIRTHDAY:

You take her out to dinner. (0)

You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar. (+1)

Okay, it is a sports bar. (-2)

And it’s all-you-can-eat night. (-3)

It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the colors of your favorite team. (-10)

A NIGHT OUT:

You take her to a movie. (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes. (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)

You take her to a movie you like. (-2)

And it’s called “DeathCop”. (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans that was featured on “Oprah”. (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE:

You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)

You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-10,000)

ENJOY THE ‘BIG’ QUESTION:

She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5)

[Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT you say.]

You hesitate in responding. (-10)

You reply, “Where?” (-35)

Any other response. (-20)

COMMUNICATION:

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (0)

You listen for over 30 minutes. (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-5,000)

I Talked To RobbyD This Weekend:

He agreed with me on the Howard Stern assessment, he did note that Howard should have done something better with two of porns top personalities on and I agree but I have bagged on Howard a zillion times, what he does is make us look bad….fuck him.

Robby said AVN had hooked it all up, he said it was like your buddy comes over and says come on man lets go for a ride you can even drive my new car, then you find out your buddie is robbing a bank…

Robby is a riot

He put Jelena Jensen on the phone…Damn she is a hot

Word out to his editors…Adella may hate me now but you guys are still the best in the biz!

Some Holiday Suggestions:

Many of you don’t know it ( OK nobody knows it) but I am a pretty good cook and Tim Case has compelled me to give y’all a couple of my better ideas for thanksgiving

First is a Turkey your family won’t forget, just be warned if you use this you will be cooking the turkey for the rest of whatever:

First rub the bird (skin on) with the juice of one whole lemon (let the juice stay in the pan)

now pour 6 oz of ginger ale over the bird, let that stay in the pan too of course

salt, pepper, garlic and butter (real not margarine) to taste

now rub the bird with real honey

cook according to the directions on the bird, basting every 30 mins or so with the drippings, dont overcook it.

VIOLA!

Shrimp is Cheap These Days:

Heres a substitute for the shrimp cocktail that’ll blow em away

26-30 count shrimp boil them in beer with a bay leaf and some garlic if you like, set aside to cool

Romaine Lettuce and cucumber ( I prefer the english cukes)

Chop the lettuce and slice the cuke and arrange the shrimp on top

make a dressing of freshly grated ginger root (you grate it)

about 1/2 a teaspoon of sesame oil (the concentrate oil) about 3 tablespoons of the unconcentrated the way to tell…if its dark its concentrated if its light or medium it isnt…taste to be sure

and about 6 tablespoons soy sauce (NOT Lachoy) kikkoman or other real japanese brew.

adjust to taste and adjust quantity as needed

pour over chilled shrimp, lettuce and cucumbers

That one knocks em out

They hired him because he was so funny………you gotta love it!!!

NAME: George Martin

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one
that will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be
applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style
severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more
intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP
TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do
you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a
fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE….7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

***Old People Rock! ***

I Got More Email About DP and Stern than I Did Votes For Porns A List:

Donnie Brasco Writes:

Dammit man just when I thought you were in Adella’s purse you prove me wrong. Good Call.

Mark Writes:

All publicity is good publicity and Howard still has a big audience, DP was just getting themselves out there.

Sweet Red Writes:

You have a very keen sense of observation and when you see something you don’t like you have a very blunt way of calling it like you see it. The way I see it we need more of that honesty in the world.

Great site Mike, keep up the good work.

Larry Polk Writes:

Even if you have no erection problems Cialis would help you to make better sex more often and to bring unimaginable plesure to her. …Oh wait….that ain’t…Anyway Larry don’t you know this is PORN…We don’t give a fuck if the girl gets pleasure or not, when we cum she is fucked…But you might try emailing Tyce Bune.

That Said:

The Cocksuckers have been promising me every day since Monday that they would be out to fix my cable that THEY fucked up when they buried it and they have yet to show up.

That’s why updates are sparse…

Digital Playground Must Be So Proud:

Jesse Jane and Paul Fishbein were on Howard Stern this morning so that they could be the judge of a vomiting contest…The only ones who should have been vomiting were AVN and Digital Playground. Is porn that desperate for attention that two of it’s premiere personalities will stoop lower than a common street whore for attention from a washed up has been?

Digital Playground works hard to create an image of a professional company with professional people and then they stoop to antics used by Rob Black? They like to poke fun at ToyBox Pictures but ToyBox won’t go this low.

The good thing is that as of January, has been Stern will finally complete his slide into the oblivion he so richly deserves.

I only wonder what two bit lowlife porners will try to cling onto next…Hey I hear Jerry Springer is a fan…

Adella IMs Me:

[15:56] : you owe dp an apology on your site for even suggesting that we had any prior knowledge of what was to happen this morning. Digital Playground works hard to create an image of a professional company with professional people and then they stoop to antics used by Rob Black? They like to poke fun at ToyBox Pictures but ToyBox won’t go this low.
[15:57] : we never stooped to antics
[15:57] : this was not approved by us or by avn and we had no knowledge that it was happening
[15:57] : so nice fuckin try
[15:57] : and next time ask so you don’t have to apologize later

So Stern makes you look like lowlifes (which is is known for doing) and I should apologize?

I love A-Dell and I love DP and Fish too but you know what…y’all need to take your lumps on this one….It’s called taking responsibility for your actions.

In Adella’s defense though she did NOT book this particular gig…apparently AVN did…So now DP and Fish are surprised to find out that they got fleas after laying down with a dog…Imagine That..

 

PornOhs is the Best Written Satire Site In Porn Bar None:

Here is an excerpt from Brad’s latest bit on Tawney Roberts and Devons Production company, whose first video project was Jesse Jane’s wedding it is NOT to be missed.

Although Tawny had assured Devon prior to the wedding that watching her ex-boyfriend Rick marry Jesse Jane would not be a problem, one of the wireless mics picked up Tawny repeatedly uttering during the wedding vows, Yes I do object, Jesse is a fuckin’ whore, Jesse is a fuckin’ whore, Jesse is a fuckin’ whore, Jesse is a filthy cunt.

Despite no video editing experience Tawny remains confident she’ll make quick work of these problems using the new Avid Symphony Nitris system that her and Devon recently purchased.

“Devon thinks I can’t do it, but fuck her, it only took me 3 weeks to master iTunes,” stated a proud Tawny Roberts. “How much harder can editing be?”

The hosting Company Sagonet secided to do a massive upgrade to their routers over the weekend, apparently without a roll back plan. The resutl is 60% packet loss ie the slow responses you are experiencing on all my sites, sagonet assured me that this would be corrected in a few hours, that was noon yesterday… So no I don’t know when it will be fixed.

The 300 Girl Gangbang That Fell About 270 Girls Short…

Self proclaimed Pornstar and European Blowjob queen (who as far as I know doesn’t do boy girl cept with hubby, or apparently in the Euro versions of movies) Summer Haze had an all girl gangbang over the weekend touting 300 girls…They fell about 270 girls short…as if an all girl gangbang isn’t boring enough in and of itself, only ten percent of the girls managed to show up. The gangbang was called a success…Only in porn is 30 out of 300 considered successful….

Jenna At The Top:

In the top 5 poll for porns 5 best A List girls you guys dont much care apparently…voting was light, Dirty Bob needed clarification wanting to know if it was current top 5 or top 5 of all time…I told him current but he stapparently couldn’t think of any…or maybe they got lost in my email (very possible considering the abovementioned problems) Anyway about half the votes came from industry insiders and half from fans and the totals were interesting

To no surprise Jenna was the top girl, nobody else was even close.

The #2 slot went resoundingly to Tera/Tera Patrick

from there it was close with Jesse/Jesse Jane in at #3

Stormy/Stormy Waters/Stormy Daniels and Carmen Luvana in a dead heat for fourth and

Janine edged out Paris Hilton for 5th ( I suspect Paris would have finished much higher but only internet people voted for her…

Even Belladonna got one vote…..Is she even in porn anymore?

Its a baby girl, born this morning (Friday) at 3:39. 5 Lbs 2 ounces and Teagan says she is already back to a flat tummy…it was all baby…and she Will be signing in the Digital Playground booth at adult expo and looks forward to seeing her fans there.

The mom and Jordan ( the baby) are both healthy and happy

Congrats to Teagan.

So here ya go Dan…here’s a Mike South Exclusive.

Mari Possa is Genesis newest columnist, now how the hell do I know that….I did confirm it with Mari’s publicist who is apparently rather irritated that I won’t spill how I got the story on Mari and Seymore.

I Have A Serious Question For Y’all:

I want to know who you guys think the top 5 girls in porn are. Not your 5 favorites necessarily but the top 5 girls on porns A List

Email it to me

OK This is Just TOO funny:

This is an ad that ran on TV for Target

The Rock star is Scotty from EyeonAdult.com

great job dude thats fuckin hilarious….

JapChick says I’m Not A Hillbilly:

JapChick: you arent much of a hillybilly
JapChick: when i picture hillbilly
JapChick: i think of someone toothless
JapChick: and who didnt get past 3rd grade
South1226: well I have teeth at least
JapChick: ya hillbillys arent computer consultants and run websites
South1226: lol well damn
South1226: dont blow my cover ok
JapChick: lol
South1226: i got em all fooled
JapChick: i know
JapChick: i dont think the sands convention center would let you in if you were barefoot and wearing torn overalls
South1226: hmmm
South1226: that gives me an idea
South1226: Im gonna try it this year
JapChick: and you should have some chick dressed like a country bumpkin
JapChick: and walk in with a pot bellied pig
JapChick: say it is a seeing eye pig
South1226: LOL
South1226: great idea
South1226: \thats how Im attending the avn awards
JapChick: lol
JapChick: you better start looking for a pig in vegas
South1226: I will just get mary carey
South1226: LOL
South1226: now THAT was good
JapChick: hahahhaha
South1226: im in rare form today
South1226: poor mary I adore mary
JapChick: who is she being? the country bumpkin or the seeing eye pig?
South1226: she is such a retard
JapChickJapChick: lol
South1226: hell i got bumpkins all over vegas
JapChick: i was kidding
South1226: i wasnt
South1226: LOL
JapChick: hahahahhaah
JapChick: too funny
outh1226: can i post this on my site?
JapChick: sure

OK They NEVER link me but they deserve a little credit. They actually overhauled that horrid, cluttered slow assed site design they had and replaced it with something clean, efficient and FAST! Nice job y’all.

OK What Is It With Porners and Talent Agencies Anyway?

I mean don’t we have enough? It seems the glut of directors who didn’t know shit about directing are now all becoming talent agents who don’t know shit about talent.

It seems to me we now have more talent agencies than we have talent…Doesn’t Cali require you to be licensed and bonded to be a talent agent?

Good lord what are these people gonna do next? Become dime store doctors like Sharon Mitchell?

Harry Sends Me Some Names For Devon and Tawney’s New Production Company:

And they were funny but I lost the email…resend em please Harry

Some Thoughts On The XXX Church:

I got a tip that there may be some improprieties in the Trinity thing over there but it didn’t pan out to be factual. It did get me to thinking though because I have seen many porners malign these guys and that strikes me as rather hypocritical.

Personally, I think that there are some people who enter this biz who are not emotionally and mentally equipped for it and do it as kind of a last resort, if the XXXChurch can help these people by offering them an alternative that may serve them better then hel,l I am all for it. In the long run they do us a favor by keeping a potential problem out of our biz.

My only problem would come if they supported legislation to take away the choice and I have been assured by Craig over there that they do not support any legislation that would remove that choice for consenting adults who wish to make it. Instead they will simply be there for anyone who wants to have an alternative or who wants to get out and I’m very OK with that, that’s what it should be all about…choice.

You see the same amendment that gives us the right to be in porn gives them the right to be in religion and it is not good for either of us if either of those rights gets abridged.

Without XXX there is no XXXChurch and they do seem to recognize that.

Should We Save The Frogs Again? RW Writes:

President Bush has authorized the Joint Chiefs to begin drawing up a battle plan to pull France’s ass out of the fire again. Facing an apparent overwhelming force of up to 400 pissed off teenagers, Mr. Bush doubts France’s ability to hold off the little pissants. “Hell, if the last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to surrender any day now”, said Bush.
Joint Chiefs head, Gen. Peter Pace, warned the President that it might be necessary to send up to 5 Marines to get things under control. The general admitted that 5 Marines may be overkill but he wanted to get this thing under control within 24 hours of arriving on scene. He stated he was having a hard time finding even one Marine to help those ungrateful bastards out for a third time but thought that he could persuade a few women Marines to do the job before they went on pregnancy leave.
President Bush asked Gen. Pace to get our Marines out of there as soon as possible after order was restored. He also reminded Gen. Pace to make sure the Marines did not take soap, razors, or deodorant with them. The least they stand out the better.
In an unrelated matter, President Bush told reporters that he was considering a “Flu for Oil” Program to ease our country’s energy problem and prevent the upcoming pandemic. Nobody had a clue as to what the hell he as talking about.