After reading Goddess’ sad tale of health perils, ie; “lazyazzitis” & “cheapazzitits”, I felt a bit reluctant to go fishing last weekend. Not being afflicted with either of those itis’s myself, it just seemed selfish. As usual, I got over that idea pretty quick.

Last time I went fishing was …. Well, I was about 12 years old and used a cane pole down at the river. I remember being excited about catching something called a Big Mouth Bass or some other dangerous sea monster, digging for worms all morning and then sitting on the bank all afternoon. All to catch one little fish called a crappy about the size of a midget’s hand, a beer can and a sock. Since then, I just didn’t really care much for the idea. Turned my attention more to girls and the pursuit thereof. I can’t honestly say I’ve had much better luck with that, but it has been a lot more fun.

Then my buddy Mike called me. Now I’ve listen to him sing the praise’s of deep sea fishing for a couple years or so and he makes it sound pretty good. But ain’t forgot my last fishing experience so I haven’t exactly been begging to go with him. The trips to Dayton have been more to my liking. But… He just happen to call me when I was really feeling weak from yet another loss I’d had while enjoying my aforementioned pursuits.

Well, after hearing the invite and costs involved, Goddess would simply have passed out due to her cheapazzitits ills. I said sure, count me in. That was one of my better decisions. Even a blind squirrel you know.

We picked up Ashley, a fishing buddess (and hottie) that’s been before, and got there Thursday evening. Up at 4:30am and in the boat by 5am and by God CATCHING by 6am. Damnest thing I’ve ever seen. We were pulling in rod benders as fast as we could bait the hooks. I damn near forgot all about my other pursuits and losses. I just got lost in the carnage. It was in fact just as much fun as South made it out to be. The next day we had a bit of bad weather, but I didn’t mind. Considering the day & night before, I needed the extra rest. Saturday we took our time and just basically rested out on the water and Sunday made the trip back home.

It was worth every penny Goddess. If you ever get over your ills and find yourself on the end of an invite, I recommend it.

Thanks for taking me Brotha, and thanks to Danny & Ashley for making me feel a part of the group. I hope to go again soon.

Frank

Frank done good…we caught some fishies too….

I Came Back To Porn To Find It As Boring As When I Left:

AIM is all up in arms cuz some guy name of Junior King is forging his HIV tests. So word to the wise…don’t work with junior…not now not ever.

HotMovies Back Online:

They contacted me to let me know all 35,000 movies are restored and available.

I’m on the Neal Boortz yahoo group where lively political discussion run amok. Now they all know what it is I do and one of them insusted that I should send him “free samples” statiung even drug dealers give out the first fix for free…damn I guess I alway used the wrong dealers, but I digress. Here’s My response that got em all laughing.

OK heres the problem with that….I send ya a free sample and you appreciate it and and you abuse little one eyed Ed with it then you leave it on yer puter and forget about it

Next day yer wife comes home and catches yer 15 year old son perusing your newfound samples.

Naturally you follow the creed of men all over the world…deny deny deny…its those evil pornographers they must have sent it to the kid.

Yer wife does exactly what women do…believes what she wants to believe…ie that you would NEVER look at anyone but her.

So next day she calls and complains to my hosting company, my merchant account issuer, Cynthia McKinney, The American Family Association and my mom if she can find her.

Now all these people are bitching at me for sending out free porn….

Tell ya what I will do though….If you can install an air conditioning system my house needs a new one…gimme a free sample and I will do likewise….

Mary Carey Masticates On Kiki D’Aire:

I was chatting a friend and describing a girl as looking as if Mary Carey Begat Kiki D’Aire. My friend asked whatever happened to Kiki anyway…I replied.

Mary Carey ate her

We damn near died….

Mari Possa Bailing on Adam and Eve?:

Ordell Robbie Writes

What’s up with Mari Possa and Adam & Eve? She signed with back in January and still has not put out a movie. Could it be because she’s back with Seymoron? They’re a great classy company and If she’s walkin’ on them all I can say is stupid move.

Ordell Robbie? Now there’s a classic character as for Mari both parties seem to be taking a sit back and see what happens approach I think. Given the tumultous past with Seymore and Mari things could change overnight but as of now I’m hearing Seymore does NOT want her under contract to Adam and Eve even though I hear she had the biggest contract offer ever in porn…or damn near it…Here’s the question of the day…would Seymore marry her to keep her from signing? Hmmmm.

James from hotmovies says no way they are shaving, that the affiliate program is 100% trackable and auditable. Said they did lose a drive with about 20,000 movies but that it is being restored.

Goddess Writes:

Why I feel I should go fishing with you ….

Several weeks ago the doctor confirmed that I have a disease. It’s called “lazyazzitis.” Now it might not *sound* that bad, but he assured me I will die with this disease. I’ve had it for several years now, and the symptoms were evident, but I refused to see them. The constant procrastinating, refusing to get out of bed for days on end and even the fact that I would lay on the couch for hours waching that show you said I can’t mention were all signs that I continued to ignore. The symptoms got progressively worse and now it’s too late. I’m terminally lazy.

I feel that I should be the one you pick to go fishing because I would have that one last chance to see the ocean before I succumb to this illness. I could inhale clean air and feel the sand beneath my feet–if you carried me down to the beach, that is.

I’ve never caught a fish in my entire life, including the ones that have jumped out of the goldfish bowl. Alas, I feel it was their fate to die on the carpet. Of course, you’ll have to bait my hook… and hold my fishing rod and …take the fish off the hook for me. I’d do it myself, but you know, the illness and all….

I also feel you should pay to fly me down to Florida and buy my fishing license for me because apparently one of the side effects of the prescription medication I take for “lazyazzitis” is “cheapazzitits,” and I’ve contracted that, too, now. My only hope is that modern medicine will come up with a cure for this soon, and that it’s free, but I’m not holding my breath. It’s pointless, and besides, it’s too much work.

All in all, I think I could make a valuable contribution to the trip. You know, as long as it doesn’t require any effort on my part…unlike this stupid essay.

Goddess
“Changing the world, one trailer court at a time.”
http://www.theworldofgoddess.com/dailyjournal.htm

Well my first thought was how in the world could I possibly deny Goddess? but then reality hit me…I have no way to get her beloved hooveround or whatever that thing is called onto the boat…sorry Goddess you lost out to Frank…Who just said he wanted to go fishin.

We are talking about a recent illness she had and the medication was making her nauseous, she reported this to her doctor who asked if she was throwing up or just feeling like was going to. She said she was just feeling that way. The doctor said well try sticking your finger down your throat and making your self go ahead and throw up.

To which she replied

I could stick a broom handle down my throat and I wouldn’t throw up.

God Bless Her!

Newt In 08?

Here’s a Republican to watch, Newt Gingrich appears to be laying the groundwork for a run, he is a libertarian leaning Republican, he is smart and hard to catch off gaurd. He may be the Republicans best shot given Bush’s poor performance pretty much across the board.

Sex On Menu At Hooters?

According to a lawsuit a trainer named Cat told waitresses that they were “the ones with the pussys and you are in control because of that.” Then she reportedly added, “If you need the extra money, go ahead and suck a dick or fuck a customer if the money is right.”

Full story and documents can be found here:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0414061hooters1.html?link=eaf

If anyone can track down “Cat” I’d dearly love to interview her.

Greg Zeboray Writes:

I’ve tried to stay off the internet for years, but Quasarman’s typical logic and humor called for a response. God Bless Mike - he is right on!! Mike, I am proud to call you a friend and a client. And may God Bless the libertarian party!

HotMovies.com Troubles?:

Word I get is that they are shaving…to the tune of 50% right off the top. They also lost a hard disk with 20,000 movies on it…and it wasn’t backed up…ooops.

Anyone from hotmovies wanna comment?

It’s That Time Of Year Again:

Snapper season opens in inshore waters tomorrow and in federal waters on Next Fri. I won’t be there this weekend but I will be there next weekend. We actually have one open slot for next weekend soo I am opening it up to one lucky mikesouth.com reader.

Here’s the rub, you are responsible for getting yourself to mexico beach and back, lodging food etc. You will also be resposible for your share of the gas and ice and bait etc. expect about 150 bucks for all three days (Fri, Sat and Sun). You will catch fish!

You will have to buy a FL non resident fishing license (10 bucks for 3 days or 35 for the year). You are to bring tennis shoes with white or clear soles and under no cirtcumstances will bananas in any form be allowed on the boat.

This is not an excuse to get fucked up, we take fishing seriously so act accordingly.

While at sea you will be directly subject to the orders of the captain, this is for your safety and comfort, it’s a fun trip and we don’t want anyone getting hurt.

If you are subject to motion sickness we can help with that.

Now write and tell me why you should go…meet us in Mexico Beach on Thursday Night and leave on Sun night

Fish fri sat and sun weather permitting.

If the indians had of had a better handle on immigration control where would america be today.

From Quasarman:

Just my 3 cents

I didn’t see one goddamned Canadian flag amongst the hundreds of thousands of protestors who took to the streets of every major American city last week. Plenty of Mexican flags, Guatemalan flags, El Salvadoran flags but not a maple leaf to be found. What about my sense of misplaced outrage and entitlement? What about my culture? My imagined inalienable rights? I demand the introduction of the word “eh” into the American lexicon. Also, the letter “U” should be inserted into the following words - Neighbor, color, and honor. I also demand that the letter “U” be taken out of the word U-haul for no particular reason. I demand that all major U.S breweries increase the alcohol content of their most popular brands (Ol’Milwaukee can stay as it is. Nobody cares except the homeless ).

If you don’t give in to all of these demands I will label you an incorrigible racist and shame you into silence.
But seriously…….

As an immigrant myself, I know it may seem hypocritical but I view the current pro-immigration demonstrations taking place nationwide with much disdain. Partcularly because of the abundance of Mexican flags hoisted on high like so many self-righteous pinatas. Rule #1 to would-be immigrants; if your country of origin is so utterly splendid and your pride in it so thick that you must shout to the world your attachment and allegiance, perhaps you should return to it and bestow upon it your invaluable talents. Sure, I’ll have to mow my own lawn but that’s a small price to pay to help make your third world hellhole a better place.

Butl let’s talk about the average illegal Mexican guy selling a bag of oranges by the freeway off-ramp; in all seriousness I respect him as a human being, I respect his work ethic and his desire for a better life but once he hoists up the Mexican flag and joins a mob that is in all seriousness trying to convince people that America would collapse without people selling fruit at freeway off-ramps, I lose a little bit of that respect. I sincerely hope that congress passes a comprehensive immigration reform bill that allows unskilled and undocumented workers from all over the world, not just Mexico and central America, to gain temporary legal status and do the shitty jobs that America’s high school dropouts are too lazy to do. Keep in mind, people in other countries wait YEARS to come here legally playing by the rules. It’s not their fault that they’re not as conveniently located as Mexico.

Coming from Canada I can’t possibly imagine what it’s like to come from a country where the primary export is poverty and cocaine. At the same time, showing a little respect would go a long way. If I moved to France I’d learn French. At least try to learn english and relinquish some of that latino bravado that tells you that selling out to the gringos is akin to ethnic treason.

E Pluribus Unum - “From many…one”. Not “From many….Mexico”.

And Finally Kahn Tusion:

Says that he has not been served a warrant, indicted or otherwise and still has his limo. If he did I suspect a close relative who is a nationally syndicated talk show host on legal matters might have something to say about it.

Right on Mike, but you forgot to add.

1. Your children will go to School and maintain a C average.

2. If your Child violates any law other than traffic, it will automatically decrease your chances of citizenship, followed by deportation if the pattern of behavior contiues.

3. if you serve 4 years in our military you willl get citizenship,

4. Your child being truant +you being deported.

On another note, I just heard from a friend that the DOJ has gone after Khan Tusion bigtime, including confiscating his Limosine….

I think Rob Black is small fish compared to what they are going to do to Khan Tusion

I have heard for quite some time that the DOJ has been sniffing around Kahn Tusion but I haven’t heard of any warrants or indictments being served. He is a very secretive guy though so it’s likely it wouldnt get the press that Rob Black did.

Jesse Capps From Rock Confidential Writes:

How many times have you picked up lunch at a drive thru and the menu is written in English and Spanish? Have you ever called a shipping company to have a package delivered and was given instructions in English and Spanish? I was in a grocery store the other day and the lady on the intercom spoke in English and Spanish. I see Spanish speaking churches. Spanish supermarkets. Spanish restaurants. Spanish radio stations. Spanish meeting halls. WHY?

Our country is being overrun by illegals from Mexico. If you’re here legally and can actually speak English, God love ya. Otherwise, I don’t want you here. If you’re a resident in this country and you can’t speak English, please get the fuck out. It should be priority one to learn OUR language if you want to live in OUR country. You’re taking our money when your illegal ass pops out a kid - who then becomes a LEGAL U.S. CITIZEN - because it was born in America. We have a hard enough time taking care of our citizens without having to worry about the beggars and hangers on, too.

I understand that you want money and you have dreams, oh Mexicans, but the truth is that you only want to come here long enough to do enough dry wall to pay for your new house in Mexico somewhere. The United States has tolerated illegals for far too long. Why should my favorite restaurant give in and offer a menu in Spanish, too? We’re not doing anything to make it harder for illegals to survive here. We should.

Protesters carried signs this week that exclaimed, “We’re not criminals!” Yes, by God - you are! You’re here illegally, you’re working illegally, you’re not paying taxes and you’re driving illegally! Should I go on?

What a great country we live in that allows thousands upon thousands of protesters - most of whom are NOT EVEN U.S. CITIZENS - to march, have vigils and question lawmakers! What would happen if we did that in Mexico? We’d be locked up in one of their jails somewhere - and that’s a fact.

Nothing is worse that seeing Kennedy and Hillary spewing at the mouth proclaiming their support and rallying the illegals. New York’s unemployment rate has risen yet Hillary Clinton is welcoming these illegals with open arms to do jobs “Americans don’t want.” I’m sorry, Ms. Clinton, but I’m pretty sure those thousands of REAL Americans who recently lost their jobs do not appreciate the fact that you’re inviting illegal Mexicans to take their place.

Do I have an elaborate fix to the problem? No. I wish I did. Maybe we should just build a Wal-Mart every few miles inside the border with Mexico. That’s all they really want! Have you ever been to a Wal-Mart on a Sunday afternoon? Fuck me! Not again…
Seriously - we’re losing our country to political correctness. We should stop being pussies and just say and do things that we know are right and stop worrying about making somebody mad! (Even though this whole mess really involves CASH and VOTES…)

Fuck them back to Mexico!

Adios Amigo,
Jesse

Gerry Writes:

Mike,

Immigration has been an issue since the second boat arrived. We still don’t have it right.

I think you’ve got it mostly right. Just a couple nitpicks.

First one, and importantly… there’s no sense to trying to control money transfers out of the country like some third world bankrupt dictatorship. I’d bed you that Honda and Toyota repatriate more cash out of the US than what even 11 million manual laborers manage to pull together. Heck, if we’re going to allow the Chinese Army (who own many of those manufacturing facilities) to take the dollars they earn at WalMart home (and they may end up shooting at us someday)… why worry about the $100 per week that Pedro manages to send home to the family?

Also, it’s the only practical way for Pedro. Remember, we’re talking about not having any recourse to medical care, education, or any public services… so his family is going to have to stay behind until he has his citizenship and can send for them.

I’ve worked with the DAR, who run citizenship training courses. There’s so much more to it than learning English. There’s also learning the traditions of tolerance, respect for minority rights, and democratic institutions. We still use some 50’s textbooks on citizenship. The Dutch have gone even further. They have a video they show now with people smoking pot, going naked, men kissing, and all sorts of races and cultures represented… the message being… “We’re a plural and tolerant society… if you can’t handle that, go home.”

We also need to have some sort of “guest worker” program for the folks who work the fields out west. They need a legal status and a way to access some services… preferably underwritten by their employers. It’s hard and dangerous work, and medical care is a necessity.

It’s not simple.

On the other hand, I’d trust the next 100 guys crossing the border to come up with a plan that works over the 100 senators.

gerry

And that last sentence kinda sums it up doesn’t it?

One Thing I Will Say…I Am Jealous:

I wish we had that many, let alone that percentage of, Americans who would take to the streets in protest of confiscatory tax rates, or any number of other issues that should concern us all. We have become fat, lazy and stupid and the government is usurping the power that is rightfully ours while we sit on the sofa watching Oprah.

This whole illegal workers thing thing has me perplexed. There are a ton of issues surrounding this problem but you can bet your ass that neither the Democrats or the Republicans want to fuck with this issue. Vote buying don’tcha know.

On the one hand I think if you come here, work, obey our laws, learn our language, pay taxes and become a productive member of our society you should have the opportunity to become a US Citizen, face it, that’s the ethis our country was founded on, you know:

“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”

That is inscribed on the statue of Liberty for those of you who attended public schools…

This does not mean that I think you should be allowed to stay here just because you are here. You have to obey our laws, you have NO right to social welfare, voting, or any other tax funded programs until you ARE a citizen.

The focus these days is on Mexicans, I can tell you one thing, if not for Mexicans there would be precious few houses in my state with a roof on them. These people are willing to work hard for a reasonable wage, they are doing jobs that most Americans will not do. The ones who will expect too much money for doing so, face it if you dropped out of school and can’t read or write is it reasonable to expect an employer to pay you enough to raise a family of four for doing manual labor? I think not.

So what is the fix? Honestly I don’t know. i think the first step though is to tighten security at our southern borders, I think very few people would argue that is desperately needed. I don’t like the idea of a fence either though.

As for those who are here, Lets start with this:

1. You must immediately register with the INS, giving you a 10 year probabtionary period and work permit.

2. a 10 year integration period into our society during which:

you must maintain full time employment, paying taxes and all.

you must not commit any crimes except traffic violations (excluding DUI)

you must learn to speak and read english

at the end of ten years you must either apply for citizenship or go home, for good.

Violation of any law or failure to maintain fulltime employment immediately gets you deported.

3. We must make it more difficult for non citizens to transfer funds out of this country.

What do you guys think?

When it won’t play in your DVD player. For all the hype Vivid is going to try and generate with their “downloadable DVD” product..It isn’t really DVD, sure it will BURN to a DVD but it will only play on your computer NOT on a DVD Player, that’s the part they will conveniently leave out.

Theres still only one place where you can download Full DVDs and DVD encoded scenes on the net and thats

http://www.ezmadedvd.com

And yes they will play on your DVD player.

Coming Soon From Team Tyler and Team Felica!

(Thats Tim Case and Wankus)

OK Sometimes I get Asked What’s So Special About Jesse Jane:

Listen up and I will tell y’all.

I got an email today from someone in my high school graduating class. My 30 year reunion is in mid August. Now quite honestly I didn’t much like any of them assholes, save for a few, so I skipped all the prior reunions but I thought about this one. And my first thought was how cool would it be to take a high profile porn chick.

I called Jesse Jane and she immediately said hell yes, that her schedule was free and she was looking forward to it and it should be a lot of fun.

I would like to point out that when I graduated High School in 1976 Jesse had yet to be born, matter of fact she wasn’t even thought of as we say down here.

Now Jesse is arguably the top porn chick still working certainly on anyones top 3 list, Now name ONE other A list porn chick besides Felicia Fox who would do that and actually assume it would be fun.

Now you know why Jesse Jane is the best.

Gene Pitney was 65 years old.

Tera Called Me!:

No not THAT Tera…Tera Heart who I have been friends with for a long time then we fell out of touch, well today I got a call from her, it was nice too. She is well and working as a Private Investigator in Florida. I got some pics as well and she is in rockin shape, still a stunningly pretty girl. I’m glad to be back in contact, I always loved Tera.

Which Leads Me To My Favorite Tera Heart Story:

She shot her first scene with TT Boy. Now TT has a touch of short man’s complex and on completion of the scene he pokes out his chest and asks, “So is that the biggest cock you ever fucked?” To which Tera replied “No but you are defanately the shortest guy I ever fucked”

Hilarious..Now you know why I adore Tera Heart

When is a DVD NOT a DVD?

Tune in tomorrow and find out.