Feds Indict JM Productions: (From AVN.com)

Federal indictments charging seven counts of interstate trafficking in obscene material were unsealed today against JM Productions and its principal Jeff Steward, as well as retailer/distributor Five Star Video and two of its principals.

The indictment charges both physical and Web transportation of material included in the video features Gag Factor 15 and 18, and American Bukkake 13, all of which were produced by JM, and Filthy Things 6, a Powersville Production distributed by JM.

Specifically, the indictment, which was handed down on May 23, charges that the Five Star Video defendants “knowingly used an interactive computer service and other facilities and means of interstate and foreign commerce to sell and distribute, to a location in Northern Virginia, obscene DVDs … in violation of Title 18, United States Code, Sections 1465 and (2)(a),” the federal obscenity crimes sections. The transportation allegedly took place on Feb. 6 of this year.

The indictment also charges that those same defendants “knowingly used the United States mails to mail and deliver to a location in Northern Virginia, a DVD containing obscene matter,” while another set of counts charges that those same defendants “knowingly used an express company or other common carrier for carriage in interstate commerce and delivery to a location outside of the State of Arizona, of a package which contained DVDs that are obscene.”

If I don’t miss my guess Max is next, the feds executed a search warrant on him right after they did Jeff Steward

JimmyD Sends This: (I couldn’t have said it better myself)

What it Means to Be a Republican

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with
China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

Supporting “Executive Privilege” for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born( in perpetuity.)

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is irrelevant.

Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

Goddess Writes:

I CAN’T WAIT to see the show that South is talking about on his site:

“Fox Reality and Zig Zag Productions have teamed up and are set to produce “My Bare Lady,” a reality show featuring a number of adult film stars as they train with a London stage director in order to debut a classic play in London.”

Screw the play. I want to see the fake drama because NOBODY does drama like pornchicks!

If You Know Andrew Altcheck:

Office of the District Attorney
Bureau of Investigation
Major Fraud Unit
201 N. Figueroa Street, 16th Floor
Los Angeles, California 90012
Attn: Supervising Investigator Robert Jackson

Would like to speak with you, apparently altcheck has conned more than a few people including some porners. For full info and a photo go HERE.

I Spent The Day Hanging Out With Kelly Taylor:

The feature dancer not the pornchick. kelly is a pretty cool chick, we had lots of fun and she doesn’t take issue with her contemporaries who do porn, which is kinda rare for a feature who doesn’t do porn.

Anyhow if ya wanna come see me, Kelly, Paige and a few other misfits we will all be at The Pink Pony In Atlanta Thursday Night…come by and say hello.

New show designed to prove that adult stars can be good actresses with the right training

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Fox Reality and Zig Zag Productions have teamed up and are set to produce “My Bare Lady,” a reality show featuring a number of adult film stars as they train with a London stage director in order to debut a classic play in London. During the duration of the taping of this show, camera crews will follow many of the stars in their daily lives and like many reality shows, over time, eliminations will reduce the number of contestants down to a small group of impressive finalists. The lucky finalists will shoot 2 weeks in Los Angeles and then 3 weeks in London on an all expenses paid trip (travel and hotel accommodations). There, the winners will perform in an actual stage production in the well respected London’s West End theatre district.

Those interested in being part of the show need not be on top of their acting game. In shows like this, viewers love controversy and wild examples of all caliber talent. Adult stars will be allowed to use their actual adult name and the promotional value and exposure in the mainstream arena alone makes this a very good opportunity for up and coming performers.

Casting calls by appointment only are being held June 19th through June 21st. All levels of adult performers are encouraged to meet; from new performers to elite contract girls to those who have already retired. If you are an adult performer who is interested in being on the show or have questions regarding the details and requirements, please contact Michelle at Beitchman & Zekian, PC, 213-488-1115, to schedule a casting meeting with the producers and Fox executives.

WOW! I Have Had A PILE Of Emails On Paige:

Seems You guys love her…Heres a few samples.

“Its nice to see a girl like Paige getting into porn, the fake tits, tats and bleach are so 1990s”

“Beauty and brains, that is quite a combination, I hope she fucks as good as she looks”

“Please don’t let her sign with a company that won’t let her be nasty”

” I normally don’t buy adult magazines , but I am going to pick up that copy of Genesis”

“If she has all that education why in God’s name does she want to do porn?:

“When will her pictures be up on southernbukkake.com?”

“I really went to school with her we even had some of the same classes, tell her Jeff said hello! How about more pictures of her?”

Wankus Gets Serious:

While you were obviously bored and needed to make something out of nothing just to get a rise out of me, I’ll give you a response. Probably not as defensive and witty as you may want, but the correct response none-the-less.

First of all, when I’m hosting The Wanker Show with Rebecca Love, Michelle Lay or Tyler Faith, I’m not Wankus the Program Director, partner, etc., I’m a show host. You’ve heard the old expression, “Such and suches comments do not reflect the views of management, the corporation, yaddy yaddy yaddy.” As much as on paper you can’t separate the two, there really is a difference between hosting a show and releasing your personality on air and making decisions as a company. Tyler and my views about the act Daisy so proudly bragged about, shooting an endangered species, pissing on his balls and having sex next to his body are our personal views. It is of our opinion that a person who would do that kind of porn shoot for a quick buck and then brag about it is not only a scumbag but one of the many negative examples of why mainstream America hates the world of adult.

Second, Ultimate Entertainment Group has begun shooting adult films, this is true. The have shot a few movies in Los Angeles and shot a few days in Florida (not as you stated, “A LOT” of shoots). I am told that they did book their Florida talent through an agency that represents Daisy Duxxx but I fail to see how our comments about a person’s character relates in anyway to the agency she’s booked through and why they should be made to suffer because they have a moron on their roster. If that was the case, we would have NO agencies.

Further, Tyler and I contacted Daisy this week to try to get her on the show almost a year later as we’re told Daisy has an explanation and wants to defend herself. We have not heard back from her as of yet.

The bottom line Mikey…There’s a hell of a lot of people that can’t stand Wankus but they still visit and appear on other shows on KSEXradio.com. While I’m the loudest mouth in the line up, most people are smart enough to realize that even though those crazy executives at UEG employ this maniac, they can still be part of the KSEX fun without having to deal with him. Ya get it now or was this not clear enough?

I still say yer being hypocritical! Poor Daisy LOL

And Finally, Aaron writes:

I hear tell that Digital Playground is releasing a version of “Pirates” that will be carried by Blockbuster… I’m assuming it’s rated Arrrr….

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!

HIV’s Ancestry Traced to Wild Chimps
May 25, 7:26 PM (ET)

By LAURAN NEERGAARD

WASHINGTON (AP) - Twenty-five years after the first AIDS cases emerged, scientists have confirmed that the HIV virus plaguing humans really did originate in wild chimpanzees, in a corner of Cameroon.

Solving the mystery of HIV’s ancestry was dirty work. Scientists employed trackers to plunge through dense jungle and collect the fresh feces of wild apes - more than 1,300 samples in all.

Before that, it took seven years of research just to develop the testing methods to genetically trace the primate version of the virus in living wild chimps without hurting the endangered species.

Until now, “no one was able to look. No one had the tools,” said Dr. Beatrice Hahn of the University of Alabama at Birmingham. She led the team of international researchers that reported the success in Friday’s edition of the journal Science.

“We’re 25 years into this pandemic,” Hahn said. “We don’t have a cure. We don’t have a vaccine. But we know where it came from. At least we can make a check mark on one of those.”

Scientists long have known that nonhuman primates carry their own version of the AIDS virus, called SIV or simian immunodeficiency virus. But with one exception, it had been found only in captive chimpanzees, particularly a subspecies that in the wild populates mostly West Africa.

It was not known how prevalent the virus was in chimps in the wild, or how genetically or geographically diverse it was, complicating efforts to pin down the jump from animal to man.

Hahn’s team tested chimp feces for SIV antibodies, finding them in a subspecies called Pan troglodytes troglodytes in southern Cameroon.

Chimps tend to form geographically distinct communities. By genetically analyzing the feces, researchers could trace individual infected chimps. The team found some chimp communities with infection rates as high as 35 percent, while others had no infection at all.

Every single infected chimp had a common base genetic pattern that indicated a common ancestor, Hahn said.

There are three types of HIV-1, the strain of the human virus responsible for most of the worldwide epidemic. Genetic analysis let Hahn identify chimp communities near Cameroon’s Sanaga River whose viral strains are most closely related to the most common of those HIV-1 subtypes.

“The genetic similarity was striking,” Hahn said.

The first human known to be infected with HIV was a man from Kinshasa in the nearby country of Congo who had his blood stored in 1959 as part of a medical study, decades before scientists knew the AIDS virus existed.

Presumably, someone in rural Cameroon was bitten by a chimp or was cut while butchering one and became infected with the ape virus. That person passed it to someone else.

The Sanaga River long has been a commercial waterway, for transporting hardwood, ivory and other items to more urban areas. Eventually, someone infected made it to Kinshasa.

“How many different transmission events occurred between that initial hunter and this virus making it to Kinshasa, I don’t know. It could have been one, it could have been 10, it could have been 100,” Hahn said. “Eventually, it ended up in an urban area, and that’s where it really got going.”

Somewhere in all that spread, the virus became more deadly to people than it is to chimps, who seldom are bothered much by SIV.

The research seems to settle any question of HIV’s origin, said Dr. Anthony Fauci, the National Institutes of Health’s AIDS chief.

When tracing a virus’ evolution, “it’s important to get as close to the source as you can,” he said. “It’s of historic interest.”

I Spell It H Y P O C R I T E:

Now I like Tyler and Wankus but for all the posturing they are doing over the whole Daisy Duxx shooting some farm raised animal born and bred for that purpose, they are being rather disingenuous.

You see Daisy was sent to sexy outdoorsports by her agency, the same agency that KSEX owners use when they shoot in South Florida and they shoot there a LOT.

But now you don’t hear THAT on the KSEX show do ya…Oh no it’s much simpler to taunt some dumb porn chick who simply wanted a pay check than the guy who signs THEIR pay check. Every girl who works for this particular agency has done shoots for sexyoutdoorsports but does this stop the KSEX peeps from using this agency or the other girls there…nope, you don’t hear Tyler and Wankus crowing about that do ya…

Come on guys if yer gonna make a stand don’t make it conveniently. Put your money where your mouth is.

Paige is a rare find in this biz, she is 22 years old, drop dead gorgeous AND smart. Not just street smart but really smart. You see Paige has a Masters Degree in Political Science from Auburn University as well as a second Major in Psychology and a minor in Criminology.

You will see her in the pages of Genesis Magazine in a few months (Layout shot by yours truly). She is getting into porn and has no problems having sex on camera with guys and with girls. Watch for big things from Paige.

While We Are On The Subject Of Education I Got This From Mark Kernes:

You wrote:

<< New Rule: Potential Pornchicks, If you “Only Do Girl/Girl” Spare us. Go get a job as a teacher at an all girl school someplace to indulge yourself.>>

Um … First of all, I used to live with a married couple, and the husband used to watch the porn I was reviewing. His comment to me about girl/girl was, he didn’t see any point in watching anything else! “Who the fuck wants to see some guy’s dick?” were his exact words.

Hey to each his own..

<< New Rule: Ass to mouth, it looks retarded and un-natural in the scene, plus if you get off on seeing a girl eat shit…well you are a sick mother fucker to begin with, seek help someplace.>>
No argument from me!

Hot Damn Me N Kernes in Full agreement…it ain’t a first but it is kinda like blue moons
<< New Rule: Can we drop the “Doctor” and “PhD” nonsense with regard to Sharon Mitchell? I’m sure she means well but a diploma from a dimestore school with no acreditation is not a PhD nor does it make you a doctor. What it makes you is a moron who paid too much money for a diploma that has the same value as one from any number of email spams that could have given you the same thing for 9.99 .>>
Jesus Christ! Y’know, every time you try to talk about HIV, you put your foot in your mouth, whereas Sharon Mitchell, whatever degree she has and wherever it came from, knows more about HIV and how to find it and how to prevent it than you can ever hope to know. Perhaps it’s the “doctor” part that gets to you, but I trust you understand that there are people who are “doctors” who are not physicians. “Doctor” reflects a level of accomplishment in a particular field of study, and if you talked to Mitchell for more than 10 minutes about HIV, a) you’d probably be lost after the first 5, and 2) if you brought a translator — sadly, Mitchell DOESN’T communicate her knowledge very well, which I know because I’ve interviewed her several times — you’d find out roughly how much she DOES know, and why this industry should be kissing her ass for saving it from The Plague that could decimate porn inside of a week — and there’s a limit to how many farm girls from Kansas could be convinced to come in to replace the entire talent pool.

Now see ya’ll this is called obfuscation, or distorting the truth and drawing attention away from the real subject. NOWHERE in that text did I mention HIV, I simply pointed out that her diploma is worthless.

You see in the real world one must get a high school education, then a bachelors degree, then a masters degree and then write a thesis that must be published in order to get a PhD. and even at THAT I simplified it.

Sharon has a GED and her dimestore PhD, thats it. It has as much academic value as a PhD in Insensitivity from the Mike South Institute for Insensitivity and Pornography…Hell I’m more stingy with my degrees, you wanna a degree from me you will earn it…But I digress.

But since he did hit on the HIV thing lets talk about that. If Sharon knows so much about HIV why did I have to explain that her group of direct exposures during the Darren James thing was WRONG…DEADLY so. She even stated that the window for the test was 30 days so everyone since his last test was a direct exposure.

It took lil old know nothing hillbilly from Atlanta to point out the flaw in this (lack of) logic. If the window is 30 days she has to go back 30 days prior to his last GOOD test in the event that he was exposed but not yet positive during that test….ooops.

When I pointed this out she quickly revised her methodology. Yer welcome Mitch.

I’d go head to head with her anyday on this issue, particularly since she has never answered my questions about the PCRDNA test that she so staunchly defends with no real arguments, just empty rhetoric. There’s a reason the ELISA test is the GOLD STANDARD TEST…Assuming she knows enough about the topic to know what a gold standard test is…My bet is she doesn’t.

Lucky for porn this “plague” is extraordinarily difficult to ghet or porn valley would have been wiped out years ago. How many performers have Herpes? There ya go…

One More Rule For Porn:

No more “pegging” in straight porn, It’s GAY, OK? I mean if that’s yer thing thats cool but if you take even a fake dick in yer ass…it’s gay…same as selling your sperm on the internet…It’s gay… if you do it yer gay..deal with it.

What The Hell?:

VILNIUS, Lithuania - Lithuanian police were so astonished by a breath test that registered 18 times the legal alcohol limit, they thought their device must be broken. It wasn’t.

Police said Tuesday 41-year-old Vidmantas Sungaila registered 7.27 grams per liter of alcohol in his blood repeatedly on different devices after he was pulled over Saturday for driving his truck down the center of a two-lane highway 60 miles from the capital, Vilnius.

Lithuania’s legal limit is 0.4 grams per liter.

“This guy should have been lying dead, but he was still driving. It must be an unofficial national record,” Saulius Skvernelis, director of the national police traffic control service, told the AP. “He was of high spirits and grinning the whole time he was questioned.”

Medical experts say anything above 3.5 grams per liter of alcohol in the blood is lethal for most people.

When Did Quasarman go to Lithuania?

Paige and I stopped off at AEBN in Charlotte, AEBN has always been very cool to me and I stopped in to see Carmen Luvana who was there doing a promo appearance and my buddy Scott McGowan. Scott runs eyeonadult.com. It’s probably the best written blog going these days, Scott is a damn good writer and a funny guy. He even managed to convince Paige to do her first interview…I will post a link to it when it’s up.

Steve Writes:

Mike, read your new rules, funny shit! On the porn rules you forgot;

Belladonna is good looking, although you could drive a truck thru that gap in her teeth. Any woman who likes having a baseball bat rammed in their ass feels good, is fucking nuts and needs help. What’s next, a tree trunk?
Can we please dispense with the squirting movies. I cannot find where shoving a dildo the size of a midget in your vagina pleasing. Hell, if you can do that, you can show giving a whole new relm of giving birth. Just stand still, squat and pop that baby right out on the floor.
And in case you are wondering who the hell Steve is…he runs one of Atlanta’s biggest Video Stores…

Knice Writes:

I still keep up with you, but with my new job I’m kinda running behind. But I just had to throw you 2 comments.

First another new porn rule….Ladies when you tell a person that your interested in stripping or doing porn, but your “boyfriend” would never let you. Here’s a hint dump his dead beat ass, and find a real man.

Second, I actually saw this the other day. During the weekend of May 5-6, the Waco rodeo was held in Waco Georgia. Among the sponsors for the rodeo was the Haralson Spinal Clinic and the Bremen Health and Wellness Center. Isn’t that like having a Klan rally sponsored by Clorox Bleach or Blue Water Rope?

I hope all is well with you Mike. I’ve been meaning to call you so I could show you that spot, that I thought would make a cool spot for a shoot. Since then I have found another one as well in north east Floyd County, a place known as “The Pocket.” Its a really beautiful area. Well, let me run for now, I need to grab some grub. Don’t be a stranger and keep up the good work…Oh Damn…before I forget have you heard of Raven Riley, she is an 18 year old high school student that has here own adult websight. I thought she might be a possible candidate for you to get in a film. She lives somewhere around the Atlanta area, at least that’s what she claims on her Myspace sight.

While I Am At It:

The folks at Digital Playground & Adam and Eve deserve mad props. Releasing “Pirates” as an R rated theatrical release is quite a coup and a first on many levels. The Dvd release will be released in coordination with Pirates of the Carribean “Dead Mans Chest” and it has already been picked up by all the nations big rental chains…read Bockbuster.

Editing a porn movie down to an R rating is quite a job and word I get is that old Jewn personally did the editing, learning a lot in the process, but the juice was worth the squeeze. Congrats to DP and A&E on taking adult to a whole new level, they deserve all the PR this will generate for em.

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There’s a
reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years. Because you don’t
particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the
football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a window unless
you’re a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was
found in a bowl of Wendy’s chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What
did you expect it to contain? Trout?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot,
blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for
these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards,
you’re a dope. If you’re a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols.
If you’re a grown man , they’re pictures of men.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here’s how much men care
about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we’re done.
New Rule: There’s no such thing as flavored water. There’s a whole
aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery
taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want
flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That’s your
flavored water.
New Rule: Stop fucking with old people. Target is introducing a
redesigned pill bottle that’s square, with a bigger label. And the top
is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it,
his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved
the SocialSecurity crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the
asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a “decaf grande
half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread
cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low and one
NutraSweet,” ooh, you’re a huge asshole.
New Rule: I’m not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my
card, entering my PIN number, pressing “Enter,” verifying the amount,
deciding,no, I don’t want cash back, and pressing “Enter” again, the kid
who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating myAlmond
Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it
doesn’t make you spiritual. It’s right above the crack of your ass. And
it translates to “beef with broccoli.” The last time you did anything
spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t pregnant. You’re not
spiritual. You’re just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn’t a sport. It’s one of the seven
deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating,
because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned
exciting. What’s next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They’re already
doing that. It’s called “The Howard Stern Show.”
New Rule: I don’t need a bigger mega M&M. If I’m extra hungry for M&Ms,
I’ll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule: If you’re going to insist on making movies based on crappy,
old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a
remote so we can see what’s playing on the other screens. Let’s remember
the reason something was a television show in the first place is that
the idea wasn’t good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for
weddings. Now it’s for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab.
Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you
isn’t gift giving, it’s the white people version of looting.

So Now Some New Rules For Porn:

New Rule: Potential Pornchicks, If you “Only Do Girl/Girl” Spare us. Go get a job as a teacher at an all girl school someplace to indulge yourself.

New Rule: Gaping, please stop it. Nobody looks at a girl with an open ass or pussy big enough to hide Ron Jeremy in and reaches an orgasm.

New Rule: Ass to mouth, it looks retarded and un-natural in the scene, plus if you get off on seeing a girl eat shit…well you are a sick mother fucker to begin with, seek help someplace.

New Rule: Tera is a hot girl but if it comes out of her mouth…fact check it. If she says she is female, fact check it, there has been enough Bull Shit from her to fertilize the entire tomato crop of Mexico. She was never a nurse, she was never a Ford Model, She was never in a plane crash, her father wasnt in a plane crash, her father doesn’t own any part of Kendall Jackson Winery, She doesn’t own a Llama farm and she was never a Penthouse Pet of the Year… amoung others.

New Rule: Can we drop the “Doctor” and “PhD” nonsense with regard to Sharon Mitchell? I’m sure she means well but a diploma from a dimestore school with no acreditation is not a PhD nor does it make you a doctor. What it makes you is a moron who paid too much money for a diploma that has the same value as one from any number of email spams that could have given you the same thing for 9.99 .

New Rule: Adell, Dusty and KatyZ, OK I don’t know what the rule is but I somehow felt I shouldn’t leave them out.

In the current issue of AVN, the article about female owned companies they have two glaring mistakes in Tera Patrick’s Bio and others all throughout the article itself.

For starters it’s now well known that Tera was never an RN. Period, Ok that little tidbit has been repeated enough that I could give ya that…but listing her as 2002 Penthouse Pet of the Year? You can look that up really quick.

Tera wasn’t Penthouse Pet of the Year ever 2001 was Zdenka 2002 was Megan Mason and 2003 was Sunny Leone. That took me less than 60 seconds to find.

The problem with doing shit like this is that people read it, find out its wrong then discount the rest of what you say.

It was a nice fluff piece and Tera is a pretty girl but that’s no reason to make glaring mistakes.

Layne Thrasher Getting a Bum Rap? Does Luke have An Agenda?:

Mark Writes:

A very well informed birdie just informed me of a mitigating piece of info…

Layne recently fired someone from DHD who then went to work for SuzeRandall.com
whom you happen to know as Holly’s mom…
who happens to be Luke Ford’s former squeeze…
whom he still happens to have an incredible crush over…
of which he writes about incessantly every day…
to which he admits that his Alexa’s have suffered as a result…

Now… if that isn’t an ulterior motive to bad mouth and trash talk Layne, I’ll spit.

So…….. this entire verbal melee appears to be much more than the surface has thus far allowed us to see. lol It is obviously much more than a simple banning from a party, that’s for sure!

You ask “What in the wide world of porn is in Hillsborough?”. Indeed, none other than the biggest porn company in the USA. Adam and Eve.

My friend Paige and I had a little business with the mail order giant so we headed up on Monday afternoon. As soon as we arrived at the hotel we knew we were a long way from home.

On checking in I wasn’t even asked for my ID, the room was prepaid so I could have been anyone. Now I know some you you city dwellers are appalled at this but truth is, I like it, it’s nice to know there are still places left in this country where people have a little trust, where you aren’t assumed to be a criminal even if you are wearing a cap that says “ASSHOLE” across the front. I like country folks.

Paige and I got settled in and decided to head out and grab a bite, being there isn’t much in Hillsborough we headed up towards Durham, found a Japanese hibachi place and had dinner. There was a couple seated next to us.

They looked to be maybe seniors in high school, maybe freshmen in college, what Paige and I noticed was that the girl was clearly ready to give it up, she had all the body language, the works, the guy was clearly uncomfortable, he didn’t have a CLUE that he was just a simple, smooth move away from his goal.

Why is it that we never learn to read the signs until it’s way too late? That kid isn’t really any different than most grown men I know Tkae my little brother.

My little brother, my nephew, my dad their respective wives and I were recently eating together and the waitress, a cute little high school girl CLEARLY put a move on my nephew. My little brother suggested that my nephew pull his money out of his pocket, flashing it to her and suggest they go to a “Picture Show”, and he was serious!

I couldn’t help it, I had to say something…Which came out as: “did that lame ass move ever work for you?” My nephew who was clearly uncomfortable began to smile…I looked at my nephew and I said dude, if you ever need advice on how to approach a girl PLEASE call me.

My brother and his wife went apoplectic…oh hell no you stay away from him….sigh.

My nephew looked at me and nodded though…smart kid…He knows his uncle might know a better approach than you wanna go to the picture show…

But I digress.

Tuesday we headed over to the corporate headquarters of Adam and Eve….I expected the operation to be big but just damn…it’s HUGE they have about 350 employees and a giant office complex.

Katy Zvolerin meets us at the front desk. Katy is a lot more low profile than some of the other PR peeps in the biz, she is tall, with a great body and a pretty smile and looks at LEAST ten years younger than I learned her real age is. She walks with a soft sway in her hips, always wears low cut jeans that accentuate her small waist and long legs and she has that very confident yet casual style. The two words that describe Katy best…cool confidence

Katy shows us the operation and then takes us to Meredith. There’s something about Meredith that tells you she is just flat out fun. She smiles all the time, cuts up and is playful, she is more into sexy clothes and hair than the cool confident look of Katy…they actually make a great team.

We spend the rest of the day in meetings, I won’t elaborate but I have something I think they need and they have something I think I need. We will just leave it at that.

You ask…Ok South so who is this Paige chick you have alluded to…just wait guys…you WILL know soon enough.

As for Adam and Eve I want to personally thank Katy and Meredith for making us feel good, making sure we had a good time, taking care of us and spending time with us, I expect good will come out of it for all.

I Also want to thank all the folks over there we met who took a little time to be nice to us. specially Brian who endured a grueling barrage of questions from the girls over dinner…questions about his sex life…particularly anal sex with his girlfriend(s)…chicks want to know the weirdest things.

Tomorrow…It’s off back home via Charlotte where we stopped in to see my little latina sensation Carmen Luvana and the fine folks at AEBN.

Luke is back - BULLSHIT!!!
AS YOU MAY KNOW ALREADY HOW MUCH OF A HOT HEAD DEREK HAY IS…
If not then check this out, I was featuring at Rouge in Van Nuys CA May 4th 5th and 6th. Obviously a holiday weekend, Lakers game Cinco De Mayo, the fight… So here I spent over a grand for all my DVDs, magazines, and some shitty coppies of my 8×10s.

The 4th and 5th were dead, I was humiliated to see that no one was interested or had they even known of me, I sat there looking stupid for nothing. So on the 6th my roady bails on me, leaving me scrabling for help.

With tears in my eyes, Derek starts screaming at me that Im running late, well duh, Derek its your job to provide me with a roady. So the conversation gets a bit hostile to put it lightly.

I feel that if someone is having a hard time that it is wrong to make it any worse, do you agree? Well it escelates into derek threatening to sue me over his contract with Rouge.

I just say fuck it, Why am I even going so you can look good? No! Fuck that! Im outta here! Fuck you! So what if Rouge sues me, I signed a contract, Im sure Ill have to take care of that, but derek. Dont you have enough to worry about? Like the girls you bring in to the United States who dont pay taxes and work illegally?

Or that time you sent me to Hong Kong to do a private not knowing that it was a private? Isnt that called PIMPING and PANDERING? Well whatever it is this LUKE IS BACK.com shit is rediculous. Derek says, he dumped me - not true, I left. And that I flaked out on my feature causing lost revenue - well if a tree fell in the middle of the woods and no one was there to hear it did it make a sound? Well im sure it did but no one really gives a fuck do they? So my point being exactly that… Derek go out to the woods and blow off all the steem you want, cause nobody really gives a fuck!

Thank you for your interest in my post, pass it on to a friend, the fbi, the irs, or anyone who needs a reason to kick this pincil dick in the face! Id really appriciate it.
C. Bing

Carmella isn’t the first to accuse Derek Hay aka Ben English of using illegals and getting them illegal papers, I have even heard far worse…but she is the first to go on record about it.

If anyone has anything else about Derek, good or bad, I’d like to hear it, I would also like to hear from Derek I have a lot of questions I’d like to ask him. You out there Ben? You want to answer? Email me.

And there were porners abiding in the field, keeping watch over their contract girls by night, and lo the man of Jewn came upon them and the glory of the Jewn shone round about them, and they were sore afraid, and Jewn said unto them, fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all porners. For unto you is born this day in the city of Chatsworth, a PR savior who is Adella. And suddenly there was with the angels a multitude of the heavenly contract girls, praising Jewn and saying, Glory to Digital Playground in highest sales and peace in the valley of porn and good will to men.

Having A Little fun On IM:

This is an IM conversation I had last night…yes I was bored.

monica_jones_love: <ding>
monica_jones_love: hello
monica_jones_love: how are you doing
xxxsouth: im fine
xxxsouth: what can i do for you?
monica_jones_love: i will like to chat with you
xxxsouth: ok you are chatting with me
xxxsouth: do you know who I am?
xxxsouth: anything about me at all?
monica_jones_love: i read your profile and am interested in knowing you more better
xxxsouth: i see
monica_jones_love: anyway my name is mary
monica_jones_love: monica
xxxsouth: mary monica huh
xxxsouth: where are you from mary monica
monica_jones_love: Am from florida but right now am in dubai to run my late husband business
xxxsouth: oh i see
monica_jones_love: what do u do for living
xxxsouth: i shave monkeys

I loved this and I owe it all to Ebolamonkeyman.com

monica_jones_love: how do u mean?
xxxsouth: with a razor usually
xxxsouth: sometimes you have to use dog clippers to start though
xxxsouth: you know for the really hairy ones
monica_jones_love: do u own the company
xxxsouth: of course i do
xxxsouth: its a highly specialized field
monica_jones_love: oh that is nice
xxxsouth: what do you do?
monica_jones_love: i run oil and gas company
monica_jones_love: how old are you
xxxsouth: 48
xxxsouth: oil and gas huh
xxxsouth: so i bet you are as rich as I am almost
monica_jones_love: lol
monica_jones_love: am 32 years old
monica_jones_love: do u have any kids
monica_jones_love: i have a son 7 years old
xxxsouth: no kids unless you count my 19 year old girlfriend
monica_jones_love: lol
xxxsouth: I met her through my work…I shaved her monkey
monica_jones_love: so what are you looking for in relation
xxxsouth: in a relation I am primarily interested in tuples and attributes

These are terms from tuple relational calculus..remember I worked for years with relational databases relatin is a table, a tuple is a record and an attribute is a field in that tuple

monica_jones_love: oh ic
xxxsouth: and what do you look for?
monica_jones_love: anyway am looking for a long time relationship
xxsouth: you have a 7 year old son that seems rather long time to me
xxxsouth: do you need your monkey shaved?
monica_jones_love: lol
xxxsouth: whay are you laughing?
monica_jones_love: what is the name of your company
monica_jones_love: You sound funny
xxxsouth: how did you know I have an accent?
xxxsouth: are you really in dubai?
monica_jones_love: oh yes
monica_jones_love: why do u ask
xxxsouth: just curious
xxxsouth: so you are the second largest emirate

Abu Dhabi is the largest of the 7 Ubited Arab Emirates, Dubai is second

xxxsouth: there isnt that much oil revenue in dubai is there

only about 10% of the GNP from Dubai is oil, the biggest industries are tourism and JAFZ which is a program that gives companies huge tax incentives to relocate there…I knew all that polysci would come in handy some day

xxxsouth: you must do pretty well
xxxsouth: seems the JAFZ is doing quite well?
xxxsouth: <ding>
xxxsouth: where did you go
xxxsouth: gee let me guess you are just another fucking scumbag cocksucker trying to con people on the internet huh?