OMG. Last night I stayed in a Motel 6 and the couple next door were having such wild, animal sex that *I* was sweating and weak kneed by the time they finished. We had…I mean “they” had sex three times during the night. One can only assume they’re either newlyweds or total strangers. [...]

Remember that song “I’m standing on the corner of Winslow, Arizona, such a fine sight to see?” A few moments ago, I’m sitting in my Hoveround on the corner of Greenville, South Carolina. Amazing coincidence, huh? I was sitting there holding a “Will Work For Elmo” sign. I collected three buttons, twenty three sticky [...]

Neal Cassidy and Jack Kerouac made being on the road seem so fun. Must have been the enormous amount of drugs and alcohol they were consuming. I did drive through Mount Airy yesterday. Mount Airy was the inspiration for Mayberry and the town where they were going to erect a statue in honor [...]

Yikes! I got super lost in Maryland yesterday. Next time I’m going to pay a grade schooler to ride with me and read the map. I drove out of my way to reach Baltimore because I just had to visit the Urological Museum. While I was there I saw a woman’s kidney stone that [...]

Geez, I can hardly wait to get to South’s so I can eat all that “good” food he left for me. Celery? Celery isn’t food. It’s what I use to scratch my back when none of the offspring aren’t around to do it for me.To show my gratitude to South for letting me stay [...]