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Lacey Blake

Lurking Reader




CNBC Says "Mike South - South is the Nikki Finke of the porn industry. His blog, which is never short on opinion, is a must-read among industry insiders. His style is unique, but he is also a leading agent of change within the industry. There are few fence-sitters when it comes to opinions about South, but no one ignores him."

Recent Comments

  • Bonnie Rotten v Max Hardcore the Plot Thickens (15)
    • LurkingReader: Agree the under age 21 is one of those over the top not relevant (that I can see) ancillary fluff stuffed into most initial...
    • BT: Ps – the problem with arguing that it’s all an act is this: If she was acting then – and it was pretty convincing – how...
    • BT: Under the age of 21 is meaningless. She was over 18, which is the legal age to perform in an adult video. That’s a little like saying,...
    • LurkingReader: 2257 may be required for each production but that’s easily gotten around placing model signature above date and producer...
    • LurkingReader: @BT I don’t see it as an issue. If the content in question is a filmed personal encounter there’s a lot of gray area....
    • jilted: If this ever gets to discovery, the very first thing asked of Max will be, please present your model release, and 2257 documentation....
    • LurkingReader: “In her intentional infliction of emotional distress count, Hicks states she was under the age of 21 and had not yet performed...
    • BT: If this ever gets to the discovery stage and depositions begin, you can be assured that Bonnie Rotten will be shown this video and ask to...
    • Toby: Weird is right. Nothing is making any sense. There’s more going on here, has to be. But who knows what that is. Perhaps time will...
    • Karmafan: Her suitcase pimp probably told her she could win a payday from Max.

Hey, kids.

Hey, kids. Once again it’s time for me to spend a few days at Casa de South. (FYI, if South ever asks you to do something for him, don’t use the words ‘I’ll THINK about it” because the next thing you know, you’ll be flashing truckers while driving southbound to Atlanta on I-95.) The General is hiking it down to the beach for fun, sun and sex. How that differs from his life at home is beyond me, but the man feels he needs a “break”.

I told South I would be glad to update for free, but now that I’m in his condo and I see he has a lock on his refrigerator, he owes me a new URL. I think I’ll make him buy me www.fuckyouyoucheapbastardimhungry.com.

He left me this note magneted to the fridge…how in the world did he know I’d head right for the kitchen?

“Dear Goddess, I know you were worried that you would have nothing to write about for my column, so I’m leaving you a few pointers. First of all, my readers are your average, sensitive guys who love hearing about a woman and her cats. I mean, what’s not to love about silly kitty litter mishaps?” (Wait one minute. Is he being sarcastic to the Goddess of sarcastic?) “Secondly, they’re family oriented guys, too. So feel free to talk ad naseum about your 16 kids. They’ll eat it up. And last but certainly not least, talk about your menstrual cycle or your visits to the gynecologist. In vivid detail if possible. These guys enjoy being knee deep in estrogen.” (He IS being sarcastic!)

“P.S. Because the last time you stayed with me you ate me out of five months worth of groceries,” (Well, well, well. “All rise for Judge Mental”) “I’ve emptied the cupboards and locked the fridge. Enjoy your stay!”

Enjoy my stay?! Enjoy my stay?! Oooooo, he will learn to respect my authoritah!

I used to look forward to staying at Casa de South, but this visit is a drag cuz South posted a list of rules and regulations in every room. My first experience here was the best. When South had no clue that I had a few “bad habits”. When he was still in that generous “my smelly trailer is your smelly trailer” mood. When he was willing to bend over backwards to get someone to do his dirty work. Now he’s all cranky and fussy and picky, and for that I shall slide my naked, sweaty ass across every bit of countertop I can find in his kitchen. We do that up North when we like someone.

Look at the asinine rules I have to put up with:

No loud parties.
(Are there any other kind?)

No one weighing over 500 lbs can lay on my bed.
(Now where the hell does he expect me to sleep?!)

No Alanis Morisette CD’s permitted on the premises.
(Whaaaa? Not even the new one?!)

No eating—especially Moon Pies–in my computer room.
(Nooooo! Not my precious Moon Pies!)

No Ed Powers videos
(As if!)

No drugs or cigarettes
(Hey! I work in America. .I think we all know I can’t afferd to sustain a cigarette or drug habit on my salary. Oops. Never mind. Underneath this rule I see the words “this rule applies to Canadians only.”) Hi, Beater.

Happy birthday to me. This will be the first year I’ve spent my birthday away from home and family. Thanks, South. Thanks a lot. But The General did tell me I didn’t have to write anything today since it’s my birthday. Is he a good mastah or what? Wait a minute. Didn’t I just write an entire—sigh.

Later kids, this Goddess needs food, but once I get settled in, I promise to give you the scoop, the dip and the 411 on South. Whether you want it or not…