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CNBC Says "Mike South - South is the Nikki Finke of the porn industry. His blog, which is never short on opinion, is a must-read among industry insiders. His style is unique, but he is also a leading agent of change within the industry. There are few fence-sitters when it comes to opinions about South, but no one ignores him."

Recent Comments

  • Want An AVN Award? This Reader Says You Have To Have Sex With Peter Warren (13)
    • Toby: Monica, the only reference to Ms Ivory was a guess by mdxxx that she may be the author of the email Mike posted. You made a giant leap that...
    • monicaf: Here is a link to the twitter conversation tweets that were deleted: http://i.cubeupload.com/kYpdyo .jpg
    • monicaf: Tonight I referred my twitter peeps to this post (and the followup) and suggested they support Jenna Ivory IF (though not confirmed...
    • LurkingReader: @johne72 ” I found you could get more out of the women by treating them all the same and never getting sexual with them clean...
    • jilted: What a hypocrite this girl is. “I cheated, but I didnt get my prize, so now I’m going to complain about it.” And then she...
    • johne72: I have to give Peter Warren credit. He has probably used the same line on girls for 20 years. Every year 5 to 10 opportunists take him up...
    • billyboy: Here is what I truly believe is at Issue here. First I have Meet Peter twice and on a Hello nice to meet you and have a nice day basis....
    • LurkingReader: Lmao…so he promises not only a nomination but his vote to numerous girls…gotta ask is “Best New Starlet” one...
  • Then and Now AVNAwardGate (6)
    • MikeSouth: I thought of that too…he is NOT in PASS
    • monicaf: So since this guy is regularly sexually interacting with active talent, does he maintain a current STD test in the PASS database? If so,...

If You Knew Kayden Like I Know Kayden

Our own Kayden Kross got herself a Fleshlight deal, and as much as I wanted to just let it alone I couldn’t. I mean, everyone else will give you the Official Press Release version but we here at mikesouth.com (that means me and Tim Case) decided that it needs a more in depth treatment.

I mean few people outside her immediate family know Kayden Kross like I do, and when I suggested to her that I might write this she said “I see the potential humor in it.”

So we took it out of the packaging and sure enough it had an immediate resemblance to Kayden, it is warm and moist on the inside and cold and hard on the outside. But it does have advantages, there is no mouth so its generally very quiet. It doesn’t bitch, whine, moan or obsess about anything and it doesn’t ask for much. It doesn’t demand Starbucks and It won’t berate you either.

If you put it on a car seat that isn’t heated it wouldn’t complain. It wont turn its nose up when you drive past a Rue 21. When you take it to dinner, it won’t spend 75% of the evening tweeting and you have the benefit of the fact that it will certainly put out at the end of the evening and it will feel just like Kayden feels and YOU won’t have the performance anxiety and the Fleshlight won’t obsess over it.

It is there whenever you need it and it does seem more empathetic and more emotional than Kayden. It’s certainly easier to get attached to. Kayden, after all, has made a career out of being sexy, not friendly.

If you wash the Fleshlight out, its as good as new. If the real Kayden and the Fleshlight both fall off of a boat, one of them will float — and you can always jump in and save the Fleshlight.

Tim suggested I take a photo of myself banging Kayden’s Fleshlight while an 8×10 of her is taped to the wall in front of me and then send it to her. But that seems a little cruel…to me, I mean.

In all fairness Kayden approved this post and it is in jest. Kayden is one of the people I wrote about that is in my personal family, I love her very much and appreciate her being a good sport on this. If you are going to buy a fleshlight, make it Kayden’s.