Click Here For The Home Page
HOME


Staff, Contributing Editors:

Lindsey Lovehands

Julie Meadows

Recent Comments









Sometimes A Man’s Gotta Do What A Man’s Gotta Do

Sometimes I just can't help myself

I decided to up and head down to Mexico Beach last night.  I needed some fishing time badly and the seas are perfect and I figured I'm too old to start being responsible now. Fuck it

So off I go, I stop at the Walmart in Florida, nearest to Mexico Beach I need a fishing license so I head over to sporting goods, it's about 9PM.  Nobody there so I flag down an employee and ask that he send someone over to sell me a fishing license.  He said he would.  I wait

And I wait

And I wait

Finally I ask a second employee, she said she would have some one right there. Again I wait

And I wait

And I wait

Finally I walk behind the counter and theres a phone and on it is a button that says "PAGER"

And I smile

I pick up the phone and press that button and after a few tones I tap it and hear the taps over the intercom

And I SMILE BIG

"ATTENTION WALLY WORLD MANAGEMENT!  I AM IN SPORTING GOODS AND I NEED TO PURCHASE A SALTWATER FISHING LICENSE, WILL YOU PLEASE SEND SOMEONE OVER HERE TO SELL IT TO ME!"

Let me tell you, a whole HEARD of Walmart employees came stampeding to sell me a fishing license, so did a lot of customers who were laughing uncontrollably, shaking my hand and congratulating me.

Sometimes ya just gotta do what ya gotta do.....

New Videos

5 comments to Sometimes A Man’s Gotta Do What A Man’s Gotta Do

  • backspace

    *herd*?

  • "HEARD/*HERD* is Redneck Speak for fat lazy employees rushing in blind panic from their extended stay in the breakroom or bathroom to keep their highly-skilled jobs. But hey - it IS fishing (a leisurely sport for most landlocked fishermen) so they must have had qualified, leisurely-moving workers in that department. Yup. Pass the Mail Pouch, please...

  • Clearly, he's never heard of a herd;)

  • goodwill

    Way to respect private property rights, douche...

  • Hunter

    ... From the "Goodwill's Uncomprehensive Translation Dictionary"...
    Douche (noun), A person who possesses the courage to perform (justified) outrageous acts that you wish you weren't too weak to perform yourself.

You must be logged in to post a comment.