Kirsten Price…That’s Mrs Barret Blade to you.
It’s common knowledge that Wicked has been looking so I am watching to see who Brad Armstrong is dating…
This one came WAY outta left field…congrats to Kirsten
And no, she isn’t dating Brad…that’s why it’s so unusual….
FROM: KEYSER SOZE
THE TOP TEN PLAGUES OF PORN
10-Hellfire-A fire shall erupt in Chatsworth separating porn sluts from their booty calls
9-Insomnia-A shortage of Xanax shall occur
8-Stoppage of Time-Time will stop allowing all porn girls to make their call times for a full 24 hours
7-Ignorance-The recipe for cooking crystal meth will be lost
6-Obesity-A shortage of speed will cause many porn stars gain weight
5-Locusts-More agents, webmasters, and suitcase pimps will descend upon the porn industry
4-False Prophets- A muckraker using the name Luke will claim to save porn souls
3- Mary Carey-Self explanatory
2-Silicone Hardening- Digital Playground will suffer most, having to replace all their contract girls
1-Hell Freezing-Mike South will win AVN’s Ruben Sturman award, causing Paul Fishbein to stop the AVN Awards show until he can think of something nice to say about Mike South
That Wasn’t That Scary:
That’s what Tiffany said after watching Wicked’s new movie “Camp Cuddly Pines, Power Tool Masacre”
She actually saw the screener I had gotten from Wicked and said “Can we watch this”…I’m like OK…You know it’s porn right? She looks at it again….”Well it didnt look like porn from the box but I still want to watch it.” Note she never looked at the back of the box.
So I put it in and we got down to it…watching, not ….well you know.
Her first comment was, didn’t we see that guy in that pirate movie? Yes I said, Tommy Gunn. She is quiet for a minute and says “well why is he wearing a condom in this one, does that girl have something?”
No I replied Wicked is an all condom company. “Why?” she asked. I told her because they felt it is more responsible to present safe sex in their movies. Again she is quite for a minute then she says “Doing porn is responsible?” I left it alone.
“Who is the blonde chick, she is pretty funny, is she that ditzy really?” No I said that is Stormy Daniels and she is actually very smart and very not ditzy.
“Oh, isn’t she a friend of yours? She is very pretty, have you worked with her?” Now THIS is a question I know to avoid even if I haven’t worked with Stormy and for the record I have not., so I just said watch the movie OK and Stormy is a friend that’s all.
That seemed to placate her, much to my delight.
“Hey they are making fun of scary movies in this”.
Yes I replied, I think that’s the point.
“This is pretty funny, your friend Stormy is hilarious.”
I will tell her you think so.
“Who is the gross looking guy?”
I think that’s Mike Horner, he doesn’t look like that in real life.
“Well he still looks better than that Ron Jeremy guy” she points out.
Hey Ronnie is an icon, don’t bag on Ronnie.
Well he turns down more girls than I will ever get and Ronnie doesn’t turn down much
“that’s probably because they are all strippers” she says.
I find this humorous coming from a Hooters girl but I hold my tongue…watch the movie.
“You should work with Stormy, she is really pretty”
I note that I will pass that along to Stormy.
“Why is she wearing stripper heels in the middle of the woods”
I point out that they were going to a concert…
She says “no not them, the chick on the police car.”
I said oh thats Devon Michaels, she was probably walking home from a feature gig in Louisianna
“Oh isn’t she another FRIEND of yours?” (note the emphasis on the word friend…as in sarcastic)
yes. I sigh….
“Have you worked with her?”
I tell her Devon and I have been friends for ages and don’t ask questions, just watch the movie.
“You have, I can tell”
“Who is the sheriff guy he can act too, wasn’t he in that Darkside movie”
Yes thats Randy Spears.
“Is there a shortage of guys in porn they are all in every movie?”
No but theres a shortage of guys who can remember two lines of dialogue.
“That’s from The Ring, that movie scared the fuck out of me for a whole week, I kept thinking I was going to die in a week because I watched it”
I tell her if she doesn’t shut up she isn’t going to live through Camp Cuddly Pines
“Hey you are the one better sleep with one eye open, I know you did that Devon chick”
At this point I have the good sense to shut up…that comes with age guys…
“That chick has a really fucked up boob job”
That’s Jessica Drake, why do you say that she hasn’t taken her top off.
“That’s why I am saying that she didn’t take it off the first time either, all the other chicks did, I gaurantee you her boob job is fucked up”
Chicks notice the damndest things I think.
When the movie was over Tiffany say’s “That wasn’t That Scary”
We both fell out laughing.
And that sums up “Camp Cuddly Pines” it is pretty funny in that campy make fun of horror movies kind of way and Stormy is very believable and does her character very well, way better than I would have expected. She certainly deserves some consideration for Best Supporting Actress. As Tiffany pointed out Randy Spears is believable as well.
The writing and the videography are both solid and the effects are good, as bad as I hate to give Jonathon Morgan props for anything this is well done.
But it isn’t that scary.