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your rhetoric has managed to provoke another comment from me...
You've disavowed explicitly, but begrudingly all but admitted that the virtue of selfishness does not necessarily consist of making oneself comfortable emotionally. That if someone develops a dependency upon something which is objectively bad for them, giving in to it because it feels good is most definitely not selfish.
But you know this... you've finally bitten the bullet and gone cold turkey. you understand that selfishness does not equal emotionalism. if you stick to it, you'll feel better in the long run - especially when you find that guy who responds to your new virtue of independence.
No, emotions and convictions need not be at odds - and life becomes wonderful when they're not - but if they are, the proper thing to do is to think. To treat one's emotions as primary, and to adjust your convictions to appease them, is what is truly self-sacrificial.
I just had to speak up and save the terminology from improper use.